Thursday, April 27, 2006

Sometimes

Sometimes I wish
I could see myself me as others see me
Would I like what I found?
Would I be surprised, or ashamed?

Sometimes I don't want to be me
Wish I could move to a brand new place
Start over
Where nobody knows me

Sometimes I feel alone in a crowd
Sometimes I feel smothered
Sometimes I really try
Sometimes I don't have the energy

Sometimes I feel like the boy who never grew up
Sometimes I feel like an old broken down man
Sometimes I wonder why I was given so much
Sometimes I wish I had a little more

Sometimes my heart hurts
Sometimes believe it or not
I still think of her
But it's not the same

Sometimes I turn to the Bible
Sometimes I turn to pills
Sometimes I want to stop the world
I never asked to be on this ride anyway

Sometimes I think about leaving
Would anyone miss me, really?
No wife, no kids
Sometimes that scares me

Sometimes I can't sleep at night
Sometimes I don't sleep alone
Sometimes I stay out late
Sometimes I stay out of sight

Sometimes I'm scared
Of living
Of dying
Of alone
Of together
Of marriage
Of divorce
Of forever
And never

Sometimes I'm scared
Of everything

Sometimes
I don't make sense

"I feel so broke up. I wanna go home..."

16 comments:

  1. This is exceptionally beautiful. And true. Think many people escape to New York because they think that they can be alone in a crowd. But then they meet people.

    Unless they're very odd or very reclusive. Both have sometimes seemed like good options, but they're not.

    Sometimes you make perfect sense.

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  2. Startled by the Depth of This4/27/2006 06:27:00 PM

    This is stronger than anything you've ever written.
    More from the heart.
    More honest.
    More YOU.

    Unanswered questions.
    Fears.
    Beliefs.
    Ups.
    Downs.

    Thank you for saying all the things no one else ever does.
    And meaning them.

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  3. I think everyone feel this way sometimes. It's easy to fear the unknown. You just have to trust and know things will be o.k....someday.

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  4. Wow Bone, this is outstanding. It is simple, yet complex. It is beautiful. I thought I was reading about me.

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  5. Pia: Thank you. Funny you used the word "reclusive." It crossed my mind while writing this. Almost used it.

    Startled: Thank you. From your comment, I can tell you really got it.

    Carnealian: Good point. Most of my fears are of the unknown.

    Chickadee: Thank you. My second choice for a title was "About Chickadee." ;-)

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  6. You are not the only one. Think we have all felt the way you describe at one time or another. Only some of us actually can admit it.

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  7. You commented to Carnealian that most of you fears are of the unknown. Well that's everyone's fear. Which is why faith is so important. Having faith allows us to trust that we will be taken care of.

    Thanks for coming by my TT. Glad that you enjoyed the interview. I need to get more pictures of the bunnies up there for you. I've got a lot of really good ones, it's just they aren't on my computer.

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  8. Contrary to the last line of your poem, you are making perfect sense. This is writing at its best - simple and genuine. You just laid it all out there and that is very admirable. I know others have already said this, but we can all identify with the way you're feeling.

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  9. Ahh...but you did choose to come here. So did I. So did everyone who has ever lived or will live. There is nothing about that poem that isn't a choice or related to a choice. Even the can't sleep thing. Life didn't just happen. There is a plan and you are essential to it, so yes, you would be missed. You just may never know by whom. It doesn't change the reality, just your perception...sometimes. And yes, I have shared the same questions and feelings. Still do.

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  10. This makes perfect sense to me. Thanks for putting it out there - one of the best posts I've ever read.

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  11. You should have titled this "I'm human" because that's what you're saying. I applaud you for putting it out there though, as that takes a big person!!

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  12. This is great Bone. I bet everyone has felt this way at one point or another.

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  13. You just have to conquer and overcome your fear dude. Be strong and just take the attitude of "bring it on" You can't be afraid of failure or disappointment. Take the chances and take risks. That's what life is all about!

    Anyways, here's something to cheer you up!

    The show that we did a couple weeks ago on dating was one of our most popular ever! We need to do more shows like that. For some reason. LOL

    Also, for the month of April 2006 we set a new high on show downloads! 1819 as of today!

    Thanks to all our fans out there! Believe me, we both realize that without your support, this wouldn't be possible! Thank God for the internet and podcasts!

    Rock on!

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  14. Hey

    Beautiful post...

    Your Blog is with no doubt the best I've discovered recently. Funny title, great design and of course fantastic writing. I'm looking forward to reading more...

    And hey: Seinfeld rules!


    Dancing With Tears In My Eyes

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  15. Thank you all. The nice words and I've-been-there's mean a lot.

    Special thanks to Pia, without whom I may not have posted this. But did after I pre-blogulated it to her and she gave very positive feedback. I thought it might have been too dark.

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  16. man...except for the bible reference, that's exactly how I feel. Amazing~!

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