Friday, April 21, 2006

Friday Flashback: Friends & Doughnuts

This is one of my very early posts, as you can probably tell. It is the first time I can remember writing a story on my blog, rather than just blogging daily events and thoughts. And for that reason, will always be special to me. This was originally posted December 9th, 2003:

When I was younger, maybe eight or ten years ago, I had a good friend. I don't remember exactly how she and I became friends, but we did. The earliest memories I have is playing cards in the afternoons with her and usually a couple of other people. Then somehow, eventually, it was just her and me. Those were my favorite times. We had some of the best conversations, about anything and everything. I guess that went on for a few weeks. Looking back, it seems like it went on much longer.

At some point, we stopped playing cards. We got into the routine of going to Krispy Kreme, because we both loved their doughnuts. We'd have a doughnut or two, drink a coke, and chat. Every Saturday, we'd meet at Krispy Kreme.

One odd thing about our relationship was that this was the only time we ever saw each other. Every Saturday. And that was it. Anyway, I didn't think as much about it then as I do now. I guess that went on for several months. Again, it seems like it went on for years.

One Saturday, I showed up and Krispy Kreme was closed. I peeked inside and saw a lady, and knocked on the window until she came to the door. I asked why they were closed. She said they were going out of business. The store was old. It wasn't the best part of town. Made sense. I turned and walked toward my car. It did not seem like such a significant event then as it does now, looking back.

I saw my friend's car pulling into the parking lot. I told her what the lady inside had told me, and that I guess we would have to end our Saturday meetings. Her face turned sad. And suddenly, I felt as sad as she looked.

There was a period of a few seconds where we just kind of stood there, looking at each other, then looking off. Speechless. We were parked right next to each other, and after a few seconds we both opened our doors. Before she got in her car, she said, "You know, I love doughnuts. But doughnuts aren't the reason I loved coming here."

I don't remember if I said goodbye. I don't know if I even acknowledged what she said, or if I responded. I don't remember. I know that I only saw her a handful of times after that day. I saw her at a ball game maybe a year or two later. I think we said "Hi." I think. For sure, we never shared the closeness we shared for those few months when I was younger. Last I heard she had gotten engaged, but I never heard or saw if she got married.

It seems that once the bond of closeness between two people is broken, it can never be repaired. At least not fully. No matter how much time and effort you might put into repairing it, I do not think it ever becomes as strong as the original bond. Maybe there are exceptions. I hope so. Not only do the right two people have to come together, but they must do so at the right time.

It's funny how certain people don't seem all that important until you lose them. Funny how certain events which seem so insignificant at the time can leave you with so many "what ifs" and "if onlys" years later. Funny how certain things which did not seem important when you were younger, seem very important when you get older. Maybe funny is not the right word at all.

I have driven past the site where that doughnut shop used to be hundreds of times since they closed it down. It's a parking lot now. So many times I have wished I could go in and have just one more doughnut. Then I always remember. Doughnuts aren't the reason I loved coming here.

"Try not to think about what might have been, cos that was then. And we have taken different roads..."


  1. Exactly.

    It is amazing how when we examine our road, we find great examples of the "butterfly effect".

    I had a similar relationship in high school. I saw him once five years later, but not since. It's kind of a "Stand by Me" moment. You never really have friends like that ever again.

  2. Donuts as a metaphor for love. Sweet!

  3. This is an amazing story...

    I am glad you started writing from the heart, you have done a lot of people a lot of good.

  4. Dorothy: "You never really have friends like that ever again."

    I can't add anything more to that.

    Except... what about Fragile Frankie Merman? I always thought of him as the summer me.

    Interstellar: I really do like doughnuts though :)

    OCG: Thanks. That's early Bone right there. Rough, unpolished... where was I going with this?

  5. This is such a cute story. I'm glad you reposted it!

  6. that's it. I have to say I dont like flashback Friday. I know, it sounds cute, but hear me out. You usually don't post on the weekends- I dont blame you, most people dont. However, with a flashback on Friday, we are really doing without a glimpse of the here-and-now Bone for DAYS!!!!!

  7. Carnealian: Thanks.

    Groovie: I'm sorry. Some of us have to work! ;-)

    Perhaps I'll start trying to post on the weekend.

  8. Great story! It's always amazing to me how when we look back at our own lives, there are so many things that seemed insignificant when they happened, but they impacted us in big ways.

  9. Disagree. Think it's nice to see how a person evolves through use of older work.

    There are always one or more people who were there, but we didn't see as anything more as somebody to have a donut with, and then...always wonder just a little.

  10. I like this. I don't care when you wrote it, it's really good.

    It's nice to know that there are guys out there that still feel. Sometimes I wonder.

    I think we all have had some similar moment where you keep thinking 'what if' and 'if only'.

    Much love to you.

  11. Jen W: Thanks. Very true. Just wish I had cherished those days more.

    Pia: Are you trying to say "You've come a long way Bone?" :)

    Always wonder. Just a little. You said it.

    Naj: Thank you. I still feel. I blame it on the excessive amounts of Phil Collins and Wham music I was exposed to in my younger years :)