Monday night has become my TV night. Or perhaps more accurately, TV hour. I typically order a pizza (and CinnaStix) and watch 24. For sixty minutes, I sit completely entranced by the television. Like Heather O'Rourke in Poltergeist. Taking breaks only during commercials to run upstairs and see if anyone has IM'd me or commented on my blog.
I enjoy simple things like that. It's something I look forward to each week. I enjoy being able to pop in a Seinfeld DVD and watch a couple of episodes anytime. Sitting in my underwear while "reading" the Reds games online. Staying out until 3:30 in the morning if I want to, like I did this past Saturday night. Or sitting up until 1 AM watching UFO specials on History Channel or A&E.
Although invariably that freaks me out. And if I go downstairs I constantly check the time to be sure I didn't suddenly lose five minutes during an abduction that I wouldn't remember anyway. And as I'm coming back upstairs, I run up the last few steps so that whatever might be downstairs can't catch me.
Sometimes I worry that I'm too used to this. Living alone. Being single. Dealing four hands of Texas Hold 'Em on my bed and playing them all myself. I think about it more and more as I get older. I enjoy being a bachelor. Honestly, I probably enjoy it more now than I did five years ago. That scares me a little. Am I so used to this that I could never get used to anything else?
Saturday, I talked to a friend who said she was flying to Orlando this week. And to Vegas next month. She made a remark about being single and taking advantage of it. I concurred. Saturday night, I found out a friend of a friend was getting a divorce. Scary stuff.
So I think I might stay here awhile longer.
Then I think back to... Walking in the park. Playing on the swings. Throwing frisbee. Laughing. Talking. Blue eyes. Road trip. Looking over and seeing she's fallen asleep. Having someone to put my arms around. Every day. Every night.
Then I think I could get used to that.
Besides, four-handed one-person Texas Hold 'Em isn't that fun. I wonder if she'd let me watch A&E.
"These are the days that make up the lifetimes. These are the clothes that I wear. And this is the only thing I wanted more than anything..."