Thursday, May 17, 2012

Announcing "Automatic Email Deletion Notification"

My friend, Axl, works for the government -- well, government contractor.  I'm not exactly sure what he does all day, other than perpetuating a stereotype perhaps.  I mean, I know he wears many hats, but that's literal, not figurative.

Anyhow, the way I figure it, he must work really hard and get really far ahead as he often seems to have an abundance of free time.  Many days, this results in him sending out a seemingly endless stream of emails -- sports articles, YouTube clips, and other links -- which most of the time I am too busy to read.

I'm generally fine with it, but there was one particular day last week where I was inundated with work and he was shooting off emails like fireworks on the 4th with the Boston Pops playing in the background.

So, hoping to put an end to his emails for the day, I composed this little gem:

The email you sent to has been deleted.  It was not read.  It was not opened.  It was deleted before opening.  

If you feel you have received this message in error, rest assured you have not.  Please do not resend.

Automatic Email Deletion Notification is a new service offered by Google exclusively for Gmail members.


The Google team

Now, clearly I was just being a smart-aleck, never once imagining he would think it was real.  I figured, if nothing else, the "rest assured you have not" would give it away.

But then...

Later that evening I get call from him.  He asks, "Did you get an email from me today with blah-blah-blah in the subject line?"

"Hmmm," I pretend to ponder.  "No, I don't think so," I fib.

At that point, he proceeds to tell me about the email he got from Google and how at first he thought it was a joke, but then when I never said anything, he figured it must be legit.  He completely bought it!  And he's in IT!

So if you should see an email like this floating around, advertising Gmail's new automatic Email Deletion Notification service, it's most likely a farce.  And you can say, "I know the guy who started that!"

Who knows, maybe I'll end up on Snopes one day.  It's not Wikipedia or Guinness Book, but it's something.  It's cyber immortality.

Oh by the way, I never told Axl any different.  Was that wrong?

"If you ever get annoyed / Look at me, I'm self-employed / I love to work at nothing all day..."


  1. This comment has been deleted by Blogger for inappropriate content.

  2. Totally hilarious
    No it's not wrong; it's good to see you bending something--not rules, maybe social decorum

  3. Haaaaaaa, oh you are so delightfully warped - I completely love this, in fact I'm going to pick it up and run with it - consider me your first aider and abetter along your slippery slope to Snopes, my friend.

    Can I hae your autograph?

  4. oh man that's classic! do you mind if I use it? I'll change the email of course. :D

  5. Ed - Heh, that's pretty good. Wait, is that for real? :)

    Pia - Thanks. I don't know what causes me to engage in such risky behaviour!

    Shrinky - Delightfully warped? Thank you! That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me all week! :)

    By all means, aid and abet away.

    Renee - Sure. All I ask is when anyone asks where you got it, you give me full credit, thell them I'm hilarious, and link them to my blog(s). :)

  6. This is hilarious- I feel like Google had a HILARIOUS April Fool's joke a few years ago where they would automatically reply to an email for you. I remember bursting out laughing-- and people TOTALLY bought it. Awesome. You're as smart as Google now.

  7. I wonder if folks will still be confused if I send it from my Yahoo account w/o changing it. ;o) he he

  8. I created a group in my email program. I can add people to the group and their emails go to a folder. I can read any or all, or delete all the messages in the folder with one click!

  9. I'm just waiting to get one of these emails now :)

    Someday, someone will tell Axl about this post (or at least the story of the genius behind it) and he'll realize he's been duped. You can only hope it's one of his I.T. buddies mocking the guy who fell for it. Then your victory would be even sweeter.

  10. Bone has gone viral and confirmed on snopes... what a thought.

  11. I'm a little late to the party, but this is too funny! Your message was very believable, but I definitely noticed the Bone humor in that line "If you feel you have received this message in error, rest assured you have not." That's where you gave yourself away...but not to Axl, apparently. :D

  12. Cami Smith - Thanks. Imagine if I only applied myself a little more often.

    Renee - I suppose you could make some slight alterations. I will allow that.

    MarkD60 - That seems entirely too practical :)

    TC - I can already tell you if that ever happens, he'll pretend he knew it all along.

    Sage - Well, this is 2012. Weird things are happening all over.

    Sherri B - Well, that's for sure what I thought. And the party's always going on here, so you're never late :)