I flipped on the TV last Friday evening. The volume was down, but when I saw his picture, I knew. MCA -- Adam Yauch of the Beastie Boys -- had died. At 47.
A week later and I still seem to be doubled over from the proverbial punch to the stomach. I don't know why it's affecting me so much, just that it is.
I remember watching the video message where he announced he'd been diagnosed with cancer. But then you don't hear anything for awhile, and it's easy to think, "Oh, he's young, he'll beat it."
Until a couple years later you see his picture on TV, and you realize he didn't. He couldn't. And there is only shock. And sadness. Deep, deep sadness.
For the better part of the past week, I've tried to come up with some way to put all these feelings into words, and mostly failed. I just want to put on all my Beastie Boys songs, download the ones I don't already have, and listen to them for hours and hours until it somehow gets better.
I did recall that I'd written a post about the Beastie Boys a few years ago, so I looked it up. (It's here
if you want to go back and read it.) My initial thought was that it doesn't really work as a tribute.
Then again, maybe it does.
It recalls a time when we were younger, and it felt as if there would always be an abundance of days. We knew life would end, but back then it was hardly a passing thought as that seemed almost incomprehensibly far away.
So much farther away than it seems today.
"I wanna say a little somethin' that's long overdue / The disrespectin' women has go to be through / To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends / I want to offer my love and respect to the end..."
It recalls a time when we were younger, and it felt as if there would always be an abundance of days. We knew life would end, but back then it was hardly a passing thought as that seemed almost incomprehensibly far away
ReplyDeleteSo so so beautiful but I expect nothing less from you
I've been listening to 'License to Ill' all week. I expect I will continue for the rest of the day. Things like this are always a reminder to go home and hug the ones you love one more time... just in case.
ReplyDeleteYour post several years back was definitely a wonderful tribute...their music had a lasting impact on you and that's all any artist wants. Death is always hard, but it seems to hit harder when a young person dies...when I'm having a lot of feelings and I can't find the right words, that's when I know it's time to write a poem. :)
ReplyDeleteYou have some beautiful lines here. Maybe because I'm older and death of our music icons were more frequent (Hendrix, Morrison, Joplin all died when I was in Junior High and during or right after college we lost Chapin, Lennon, most of Leonard Skynard, and that's just off the top of my head), it seems as if musicians are born to die young.
ReplyDeleteLovely tribute!
ReplyDeletePia - And yet I continually try so hard to lower expectations :) Thank you!
ReplyDeleteEd - Yep. I listened to them virtually all this weekend, at least anytime I was in the car, which was quite a bit. I even discovered one Beastie Boys CD I forgot I had.
Sherri B - Thanks, I'll keep that in mind :) Does poetry come as easy to you as you make it seem?
Sage - Thanks, Sage. It does seem like an awful lot of them do.
Madeleine - Thank you.
May he RIP. I hope you are recovered Bone.
ReplyDeleteI tend to be like Ed - hearing about someone dying too young makes me want to hug my loved ones, mend broken fences, and do something I have put off doing. We never really know how much time or how many chances we get.
ReplyDeleteWow. It must be nice to not be personally touched with the shortness of live and instead, are affected by famous people you've never met. While I can say I was thrown for a loop with Whitney Houston (and really, who can't say they didn't see that one coming), this one...not so much. Ad Rock was always my favorite. ;-)
ReplyDeleteEverybody grieves in their own ways. One of my all time favorite musicians Levon Helm died a few weeks ago and I grieved more than I did overtly for my father and my father was my idol when a child and good friend as an adult
ReplyDeleteBeing affected by celebrities deaths is natural--and you get over the sadness quickly but there's a part in your heart that always aches for the people in your real life who died. It's just easier to talk about celebrities. It's easy to use them as a substitute; a catalyst for emotions even.
I was very affected by MCA's death but not as much as I was by Joey Ramone's as he was a bit older and a small part of my real world--had a lot of friends in common. People who didn't know the history thought it absurd that I cried so much for a punk star--but even if we didn't have commonalities I liked his music a lot so...
I also felt like I was kicked in the stomach...47- ugh. I'll be 43 at the end of the month. I think, in a way, that is what hurts us most- knowing the music we loved and the singers who ignited something inside of us are losing ground on the mortal plane. MCA is elsewhere- still "kicking it"...and part of me misses him, even though I only knew him through song. Hugs Bone. I will never regret being called "Baby Pop" :) May he be happier now than ever- and forever ♥
ReplyDeleteCooper - Thanks, Miss Cooper. Yes, may he.
ReplyDeleteTC - Death definitely serves as a reminder.
Murf - That seemed a bit uncalled for. I don't think very many people who have lived a few years haven't been personally touched by the shortness of life.
Pia - Absolutely. Really liked your second paragraph. Was one of those exactly-how-I-feel-but-didn't-even-realize-it moments.
Mayden's Voyage - Beautifully said. I think they sort of come to represent our generation, right or wrong. There's a commonality in that we all share this era, this time that we live in.