Wednesday, March 02, 2011

Not as fun as it sounds

My spring golf and social season has gotten underway. I know what you're thinking -- the toddler birthday party circuit, right?. No, that's the FALL social season. Try and keep up.

I've got a wedding to go to Saturday. This past weekend was the couple's coed shower. Not as fun as it sounds. But as this was my second coed shower, I knew what to expect, thus avoiding the initial disappointment of my first.

My question is, when did this happen? Showers used to be for girls only. Not having to attend them was one of the three main advantages to being a man. Along with cheaper haircuts and standing when we pee.

When did it change? How did guys let this happen? What, did they change it while we were watching sports on TV or napping? Hmm, yeah, that's entirely possible. Likely, even. In fact, now that I think about it, that's probably when all important decisions are made.

There seemed to be a highly disproportionate number of pregnant women at this shower. And as I apparently have a sixth sense about these things, I found myself wedged between a couple of them as I tried to enjoy my plate of snacky shower food. As they discussed due dates and such, I tried to join in the conversation, saying things like "That's the date of my fantasy baseball draft" and "Eww, that's gross." But no one took the bait.

And so I retreated to my carrot sticks and corn chips. As I sat there taking in the scene, it hit me: This is what people do. They get married, they have babies, then they host events to discuss the two. Of course! I don't know why it hadn't hit me before. That's it, I understand life. It was a true epiphanic moment.

Shortly thereafter I heard some talk about shower games, something to do with baby food in a diaper, and decided it was time for us to go.

All non-kidding aside, it wasn't horrible. I've gotta get the recipe for that veggie pizza. And it was kinda nice to take part in a social event and interact with the other humans.

For a little while.

"Doing the garden, digging the weeds. Who could ask for more? Will you still need me, will you still feed me, when I'm sixty-four?"


  1. I agree with your theory. "They get married, they have babies, then they host events to discuss the two."

    I really hate showers- baby or wedding. I've only been to one couple showers. I felt weird. I was the only single person there out of 20 something people. Talk about sticking out!

  2. I'm one of the few men who will not attend office Baby Showers, but you're right, it's assumed that I will be going so when others see me still sitting at my desk they think I must have forgot about it.

    "John? Time for Random Pregant Coworker's baby shower."
    "Okay, cool."
    "See you there," they add, toddling off, somehow assuming my acknowledgment of their remark actually means "Oh! Oh my gosh! So it is! My goodness! I better finish this and rush right over there! Thank you! Thank you so much!"

    Too much? Too 'over the top'? That would be because guys do not need to go to baby showers. IMO even the father should be given a free pass & excused from attending his own sprog's baby shower.

    As for second & subsequent baby showers, forget about it. I'll throw in a few dollars for the first baby shower, but when someone is popping them out one after the other forget about it. I'll sign the card and check off my name on that list so you don't come bothering me again, but I'm not contributing to anything but the first Baby Shower, and NO! I'M NOT COMING!

  3. Yeah I personally think that showers are for women.
    A guy going to a shower is like giving up your man card.

    Its just wrong.
    the only reason these type of parties came about is cause some chick was afriad to leave her man alone.

    Im totally against them.
    sorry : (
    on a side note:
    Im Happy to see you back.

  4. The only good couple's shower I went to included watching a college football game. The women could sit in one room and talk about placemats and china patterns, and the boys could drink beer and watch the game.

    Let's all be honest with each other- I watched the entire football game, only entering the other room when I needed another beer.

  5. Its just wrong.
    the only reason these type of parties came about is cause some chick was afraid to leave her man alone.

    I totally agree with this. Some bride somewhere didn't trust her "beloved" to have a bachelor party or be out of her site so she came up with the "awesome idea" of having a co-ed shower. Only one problem...she had no idea how to include men at the party. There's no such thing as a party guide for co-ed parties that truly involve the guys in any way that the guys actually enjoy themselves.

    And I agree it is just wrong to force the poor guys to have to sit through showers. Showers are "hen parties" and should be left to the hens. Besides the best part of a hen party is complaining about the men! You can't do that if they're there!

  6. I hope that doesn't catch up here. We had the traditional shower.

  7. OK Chick - It's always good to get the bachelorette POV on the issue.

    For some reason, I figured you'd be all about showers.

    Cap'n John - Office baby showers? Yikes! And I agree with you, the dad should be excused, too.

    We should form an alliance. We could call it... I dunno... Men?

    Kitty Cat - Thanks! It's nice to be missed.

    Also, how do I go about reapplying for my man card? :)

    Cami - Thanks for always keepin' it real, C.

    Renee - it is just wrong to force the poor guys to have to sit through showers

    I agree! Though if they must, Cami's idea of the shower/football-game-viewing-party would be the next best thing to not having to go at all :)

    Ed - As a guy, I see absolutely nothing wrong with the traditional shower, from which I am excluded.

  8. oh my! Even I cant endure these proclaimations of birth and the horrible details! If you are a woman... these stories have no boundaries. Breakfast Lunch and dinner- my labor... blah blah blah... NO NOT EVERYONE WANTS TO KNOW THE DETAILS!!! So is the stork visiting you soon?? You're going to have to join the club...
    you are so dometic anyway.
    join here- sign this certificate and soon you too will host one of these magnificent shin digs. Don't invite me...

  9. I can't believe none of you see coed showers as a chance for good parties--good food, music, food and drink. Or do you think the father should leave all the baby changing etc to the mommy? That the father shouldn't be an equal partner in the parenting process?
    Yes. I. Know. Men can't get pregnant. They can do almost everything else

  10. I don' understand showers. I mean if you are old enough to have children you should be old enough to buy what you need. My family, at least the paternal side, is of that belief, we send gifts upon the birth of a child but aren't prone to showers.

  11. So we're now down to just two advantages of being male... :( Funny post, Bone.

  12. Men and baby showers just doesn't sound like a harmonious Who DID think that up??

  13. I cannot stand baby showers or bridal showers and I do my best to not go to them. I can't imagine what it must be like to be a guy at one.

    I've never been married, I don't have kids and I really do not wish to discuss either. There's a reason my life is the way it is and I like it that way. :D

  14. Daily Panic - Haha. I think that's what invitations should say from now on: "You're invited to a proclamation of birth."

    Pia - As someone who has never changed a diaper in his 38 years, I'm probably not the best person to speak on the topic :)

    Cooper - It would be interesting to know how such rituals began.

    Sage - Yep. And I sure hope neither of the remaining two are ever taken away.

    Sweetest In The Gale - I'm not sure. doesn't say. It just says, "The only drawback for men being a part of the baby shower is the atmosphere changing. That is, us girls may not be as girly and sentimental when the men are there teasing or making comments."

    I ask you, would we men tease or make comments?!?! Well, OK, probably :)

    Carnealian - All these years, I thought girls really enjoyed these gatherings.