Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Great moments in automobile history

The following is dedicated to the clueless individual in the Chevy Tracker-like vehicle that I almost ramrodded into oblivion driving home from a frustrating round of golf...

Allow me to introduce you to the turn signal, also known as the blinker. The turn signal is a safety feature included on every car manufactured since 1956, also known as the Eisenhower administration.

Typically located on the steering column, the turn signal is used by sensible drivers like myself to warn other drivers that the car will soon be slowing to make a turn. Quite an invention, eh?

Yes. Almost perfect. It has but one design flaw: It must be flipped up or down in order to be activated. Otherwise, it is rendered virtually worthless.

It all seems so simple. Even the name itself, turn signal, would seem to be self-explanatory. But apparently not. For you appeared to be well into your thirties or forties, yet still have not managed to master basic turn signal operation.

Or perhaps the turn signal on your vehicle wasn't functioning properly. Well, for that, we have hand signals. Ah, but you probably wouldn't understand those, either.

On second thought, there is one you might know...

"Can't you keep it on your side of the double yellow line. Catch a bus or ride a bike. Call a cab or take a hike..."


  1. Bah, sounds like every driver on my way to work in the morning!

  2. Ohhhh I really get irritated when drivers don't turn their blinker on. At one time I wanted to be a cop so I could pull people over for not signaling. I'm like the boy in 6th Sense only I see stupid people.

  3. I had this friend who's grandfather believed that the car only came with so many "blinks" so he would wait until the last possible second to signal. Lucky for you, he lived in FL the land of idiot drivers.

    however, usually I come across those folks who don't know how to turn off their blinker after said manuver was made. So you're driving along and someone is blinking to go left...only they're already in the left lane and there isn't any left turn coming up.
    I call this problem "termial blinker syndrome"

    yesterday I witnessed a suv vs. bike accident. Unfortunately the suv was blocking my view of what happened...or maybe that was fortunate for me. There were plenty of witnesses so I'm sure that the party at fault will be taken care of. The bike rider ended up going over the handlebars and sitting up in the road holding her wrist. I was really bothered because I drove on, but I figured that I didn't see enough to be a witness and about 7 folks did stop to help...including the suv driver and a police officer. What's the ruling...should I have stayed?

  4. Two posts, two days in a row? Wow, I guess it's gonna be a good day after all :)

    This was hilarious... the only thing that would have made this better would have been had you live-blogged the experience as it was happening, complete with your verbal rants at the time O:)

    (What? We all do it!)

  5. OK Chick - Can I get an "amen" :)

    Coconut - Yeah, it's pretty rampant. This particular incident was made worse by the fact that their brake lights didn't work, either.

    Charlotta - I've kinda always wanted to citizens arrest someone myself.

    Renee - LOL That's pretty funny. You know those flashers can get pretty expensive. I think they're like eight bucks at Auto Zone.

    Seems like Jerry had a bit about people who drive with their turn signals on. I think he called it an "eventual left." :)

    I'm not sure. There's something called the Good Samaritan law, but I'm not really familiar with it.

    TC - Thank you. Oh, I think anything I may or may not have said is best left within the confines of my car. Driving and golf don't always make me the nicest person :)

  6. I should probably look that law up...but I was thinking that 7 good samaritans would be plenty. who needs more than that? I could claim that I was getting out of the way of the ambulance...right?

    oh and the samples getting switched at the lab...well at least they didn't drop yogurt in it!!! Don't want to ruin her chances for mayor.

  7. I'm sure your devious genius-ness could be applied to making some form of Car ESP system that could track the minds (if they have them!) of these drivers that refuse to use turning signals. The car could just read their minds and turn it's own turning signal on.

    Get right on that, would ya? :)

  8. Pia - I was ranting, wasn't I? I don't rant often I don't think, as evidenced by this being the only post with the tag "rant" on it. But maybe I should start doing it more.

    Renee - Seven? Well yeah, in that case. You did the right thing. They had samaritans coming out the yin yang. And if anyone gives you any trouble, I'll get my lawyer, Jackie Chiles, on it.

    Avery - That's about what some people need. Also, maybe we could create some sort of internal car radar system that would fully engage the brakes if they were about to pull out in front of someone.