Wednesday, November 07, 2007

3WW #60

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, I will post three (or more) words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything.

Leave a comment if you participate. Many fun and interesting people might visit your blog.

This week's words are:

(I have no idea where this came from. Maybe it's my audition for The Colbert Report. Yeah, let's go with that...)

Ever find it odd that more people vote for the American Idol than the American President?

Ever feel like your votes over the years for candidates such as Dennis Kucinich, Pat Buchanan, and Walter Mondale don't really matter?

Well those days are over!

America's premiere television network is proud to present the first ever reality show that will elect the next President of the United States: Are You Smarter Than George Bush?

Follow the candidates of both major parties as they live together Big Brother style. As in, the reality show Big Brother. Not "the government is monitoring innocent Americans' telephone conversations" big brother.

The show is the brainchild of Bone, a rogue blogger who describes himself as Simon Cowell with looser fitting clothing. He created the show to help compensate for what he perceived to be injustices in modern campaign financing. Are You Smarter Than George Bush will provide almost equal exposure for all candidates in an aggressive campaign of print, television, radio, and internet ads.

Republicans will inhabit a red house and Democrats a blue house, all vying for the chance to wind up in the White House. Watch as candidates interact with one another from day to day and also compete in a rigorous series of quizzes and physical challenges.

Will Fred be able to handle Rudy and Ron gossiping behind his back? How will Barack react if Bill wins the first Head of House? What will Mitt do when he is given the chore of vacuuming? What are Dennis and Joe discussing in the jacuzzi? And why is Chris so angry?

Tune in and watch the fun ensue. Each week, America will vote off one candidate from each party, until only the final two remain.

The three-hour season finale will be held on Election Day 2008, featuring the Republican and Democratic winners, plus a surprise third-party candidate to be chosen by a poll conducted on the Internets.

The next President of the United States will be introduced the following morning by Ryan Seacrest.

Are You Smarter Than George Bush, premiering Summer 2008 with live performances by Aerosmith and Enya, and special guest appearances by Martin Sheen, Erik Estrada, and Dog The Bounty Hunter.

"Oh beautiful for spacious skies, but now those skies are threatening. They're beating plowshares into swords, for this tired old man that we elected king..."


  1. Hi ya'll. Sorry about the LSU game Bone. And then an Auburn neighbor on top of that?

    Here's my poem for this week's prompt called "Ghost of the Airwaves"



  2. Letters galore today as Simon receives some bad news from home. And maybe, just maybe he'll at last... But that would be telling. So click here quickly.

  3. Can the modern ipod compensate for the ubiquitous radio?

  4. I almost got to be first today. Here's my link "modern poetry" At least I made the top five today. I'll come around as soon as I can to see everyone else's. Until then, have a nice day.


  5. happy wednesday .. mine's up :)

  6. millaHere's mine. I loved this prompt, it was pure synchronicity.


  7. Thanks or not to Bone, I'm now writing a novel. It gets a bit sicker each week.

    I write chapters on Sundays and put the words in on Wednesday mornings. These words looked easy but were very difficult as I have already written the next two chapters, and wanted to remain true to the story

    Found out the hard way about adding words when future chapters were already written--can affect the whole story

    I babble when I'm nervous and am nervous both about this story and what I have to do in real life

    I'm attempting to sell an apartment at a horrible time in the American economy

  8. Compensate??? Modern??? Radio??? (OK, radio wasn't so bad.) Seriously, Bone, you trying to get me to drop out of this? *er*

    Regardless, I had a slow (reading: borrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrring) morning, so hours later, I also have another chapter done.

    I don't think I'll make it around to read everyone's until tonight, but I will be by :)

    P.S. You can either follow my profile (it's the only blog I have), or copy/paste:

  9. It's Thursday here already! And my post is up.

  10. Happy Wednesday! My mind closed in on the three words and I couldn't shake them. Here's what happened.

  11. We must put an end to the no flush revolution!

  12. Mine is up. It's Norbert and Smedley's 50th Episode!


  13. i wrote...i'll be back...;)

  14. Mine for this week is up now, too:


    You always find such challenging words, Bone - great prompt as usual!

  15. Amazing how quickly people do these. Maybe it has something to do with time zones.

    Here's mine for #60. What happened to the Roman numerals?


  16. You brought out the worst in me again, Damage Compensation.

    I'm trying to catch up this week with all y'all have written....

  17. Hard work this week!

  18. Thank you all for participating this week. 3WW would be kind of dull if it were just me.

    I hope to be around tonight or tomorrow to read everyone's.

  19. my 3ww is here


  20. Where to start? Honestly I didn't know that more people vote for American Idol--totally sick--you taught me something

    I was laughing so much reading this I almost choked

    The post would have been worth it for this alone
    Bone, a rogue blogger who describes himself as Simon Cowell with looser fitting clothing

    The whole reality show concept--it's incredible--blue and red houses
    almost equal exposure for all candidates in an aggressive campaign of print, television, radio, and internet ads.
    almost equal--too funny

    The whole post is amazing. Truly great satire

    I love it and am very proud that I'm your 'tor

  21. Oh and as a person who has voted in every election but never had a presidential vote that counted I think this is a brilliant idea

    I think our country needs a reality show election. We deserve one

    Personally I would love to see Hil and Rudy take each other on
    Not "the government is monitoring innocent Americans' telephone conversations" big brother.
    That was incredible

    Can Bush participate? Is he the scale?

  22. Wow... very different stuff from you this week, Bone.

    Ever find it odd that more people vote for the American Idol than the American President?

    I don't know that "odd" would be my word of choice. Sad maybe. Or disgusting. Yeah, that's maybe more the way I would go.

    P.S. Thanks for making me play that song. No really.

  23. Bone, what about guest appearances of wannabe poets? Don't they count?

    *reflecting over it*

  24. My week's contribution is based on a recent, true account: Guatemalacide.

  25. That is one reality show I would watch. I think C-SPAN has already stolen your idea with their Road To The White House series. Spoiler Alert: Everybody is smarter than George, including the 2 years old without health care than fat pill popping a-hole Rush Limbaugh mocks on his propaganda radio show.

    Fred Thompson is a sexy beast. How about him on the next Bachelor or Temptation Island?

  26. Okay, I'm voting for your program but Bushie, Rudie, Miltie, Joey, Freddie and a multitude of other maroons may NOT be there or I'm not counting my vote. This was a funny post that caused me to laugh just before I cried. Get 'er done, Bone!

  27. Reality shows don't use writers. Maybe if the writer's strike continues, we can get this to be a real thing

    The American people would vote for it--and TV stations really need programs

    I'm really into this as I have no idea which candidate I want

  28. Christy & Carlos: Thanks for participating this week.

    Pia: Well, that's what we at The Colbert Report are here for.

    Sorry, just practicing.

    And I think what you meant to say is that Bush is the standard :)

    Thank you.

    TC: Yeah, this was different for me. Oh and no problem about the song. I'm always more than happy to put a tune in someone's head.

    Gautami: I'll see what I can do. I'm not sure what kind of ratings a wanna-be poet will draw. Can you do any magic tricks, or juggle? :)

    Lissa: My pleasure. Glad you found it humorous.

    Herb: Thanks. I'll go ahead and let the Nielsen people know you'll be watching.

    I think Fred looks like Phillip Fulmer.

    Tumblewords: Thank you. And hey, it's your job to vote them off the island, er, house :)

  29. Duh!! I completely forgot to send you a link!
    click here
    Thanks for the words Bone and that is a great piece of satire!!

  30. Gautami - Living in a country with mostly junk radio (apart from RTE Lyric FM which you can find on the net) I much prefer my iPOD - don't know what I would do without it now!!

  31. This is perfect since the writer's strike, the networks are scrambling for a hit. I can't wait to see all the candidates in the hot tub knocking back a few cold ones. Except for Rommey.



  32. OMG! I LOVE THIS STORY! Bone, you have outdone yourself this time. I laughed so hard at this story. If only we could really vote that way. I was so discouraged during the last presidential election because I had actually signed up to vote (my first time voting)and Bush still made it back into office. I was so upset because I knew we were headed for nothing but downhill. Great job with your words. Keep up the good work. Thanks for the laugh.

  33. Oh! ;ooks like I am late but never the less, here it is :), onto reading yours Bone.

    One or Two

  34. I must admit I caught the comments before reading your post,I was curiouser(?) and curiouser(if there is such a word) by the time I got to it! I was cracking up- nearly hysterical - what an original idea :) -you know someone should really run with it - patent it before it gets stolen :), and oh yeah, I will be the first in line voting -dialing in with my vote, I mean!

  35. wow...I would actually sign up for cable to watch that I think....;)

  36. I'm running late this week but here is

    Rock Bottom

  37. LOL at the title of the show, Bone!

  38. Bone, this is my favorite of all your stories that I have read so far. There is only one word for it that fits: genius!

  39. Better late than never, I always say.

    My contribution to three word Wednesday...

    Resale Shop


  40. One exception. Bone, you must, absolutely must, replace Ryan Seacrest for Election day.

    This is brilliant, seriously, hands down, brilliant. It must be shared with the world.

  41. Ther: Thanks for participating.

    Truefaith: Thanks for the compliment. I'll be by to read yours shortly.

    Rose: Exactly. If the writer's strike continues, AYSTGB may be the only original programming on a major network by next summer.

    Michelle Johnson: Thank you. I think we'd be more likely to get a better candidate this way :)

    Ul: Lateness is welcomed here. Encouraged, even.

    Thanks. And I think curiouser should be a word, if it's not :)

    Tagster: Oh don't worry. It'll be on UHF. This is major network material, I think.

    Romancewriter: Aww, thank you very much. You guys are making me smile a lot with these comments. And blush :)

    Sandy: Thanks for participating, Sandy.

    Marcia: Thank you :) I think that's an excellent idea. Seacrest kinda gets on my nerves anyway.

    "We'll see you in 2012, America! Bone out."

  42. Great!

    "Are You Smarter Than George Bush"
    Where everyone, and I mean EVERYONE is a winner! ;-)

  43. I did not participate in three word Wednesday, but I have a box of rocks that I would like to enter into your new show.

    Armchair warriors often fail
    And we've been poisoned by these fairy tales

  44. haha amusing concept Bone!

  45. Well, it took me a while but I finished reading everyone's entries. All very good.

    Here is mine!

    I'm not sure who mentioned it (I think Pia did) but some reality shows do have writers. I know that America's Next Top Model does. So does Survivor. Because someone has to write the Tyra Mail and Tree Mail snippets and well as the "instructions" on how the games are played and you know it's not going to be the producers or directors of the shows because they're all thinking "that's not my job."

  46. Ahhahahhahahaa...

  47. This should go down in blog history as one of your best columns yet. I LOVE IT.


  48. OMG Bone, this is one of my favorite posts! I almost spit coffee all over my desk I was laughing so hard! I've had two sick kids this week and haven't been sleeping well so this was a much needed laugh! Thank you!

    I'm a huge reality fan so I love the BB references and the Simon comment!

    Thanks again Bone, this one should go in the Blog Hall of Fame!

  49. OH wow,that's funny, maybe I'll even watch TV this summer!

    Bone, my 3WW is now up...

  50. That is too near-fetched to even be funny :(

  51. Xinh--I actually looked this up as it's so important to America and the world, I guess

    Turns out all reality shows use writers for the host's part--and interludes--I don't watch reality shows so I have no idea what that means

    But it does mean that TV will run out of all shows

    I was never big on TV until I got a TIVO then DVR so I have no idea what happened to TV during the last 22 week writer's strike

    A part of me would love to be a scab but my parents and their parents etc ghosts would haunt me as we don't cross picket lines, even when the strike itself seems unjust

  52. I forget when, but I remember there being an actors strike a while back for the same issue - actors wanted to get paid for DVD rentals and online stuff. And if I recall correctly, the writers went on strike with them out of solidarity. When that happened and everything went into reruns, I just read books and only watched the news to see when the strike was over.

    Sorry for hijaking your blog Bone.

    I did enjoy your story. I'm not sure this is a reality show I'd watch though if the American Public at Large is the one who gets to choose because I don't trust the American Public. These are the same people that kept Sanjaya on American Idol way past his due date.

  53. Bone, I really enjoyed your piece. I agree with pia - maybe we should elect our President via reality TV show. It might actually get more people to pay attention.

  54. Reality TV show for electing pres??? There's an idea. Maybe we can watch that instead of 24. :(

  55. This is great, Bone! Truly creative and inspired.

  56. My first post so am not sure I'll do it right but here goes.

    Well, it's not underlined or highlighted so I don't know how, I guess! HELP!

  57. Anonymous? I'm signed in! I don't get this thing! ~Linda

  58. Dang, Bone. It sounds like yer trying to compesate for tv with a modern radio program, and man, I THINK YER ONTO IT!
    What a great idea!
    Gotta give yer ssn and you get a vote.
    Voting may hit new levels of BIG NUMBERS this time!

    I vote down at THE OLD SCHOOL EVERY TIME !!!

    But, I hate the dirt, mud slinging commercials we'll be watching for the next year.

  59. Hey, Bone! Just thought I'd answer your question. It's Nil-PASS-ter. See you Thursday.

  60. Carlos: Haha. Exactly!

    Scarlet Hip: Nice. I'm betting on the rocks. Excellent lyric recognition also.

    Jujee: Thanks.

    Xinh: Well, I've never watched Survivor, but OK :)

    GirlFPS: Glad you got a laugh out of that.

    Gay: Wow, thank you! Now if I can only figure out who is writing the blog history book :)

    RedneckGirl: Thanks much! Glad I could provide some comic relief for ya.

    Sage: Thank you. I enjoyed your 3WW, as well.

    Tiel: Yeah, but sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.

    Littlewing: Thanks for participating.

  61. Pia Savage: I think I like the idea of writers having all the power ;)

    Solidarity, sister!

    Xinh: I do agree about Sanjaya, but hopefully that's an aberration.

    And remember, if you didn't see it the first time, it's new to you :)

    Rae Trigg: Thanks. I think it would give those disillusioned voters hope that their vote really counts :)

    Clockwork: Thanks for playing.

    Kontan: Ooo, I didn't think about how the writers strike would effect 24. Although half the time last season, it seemed as if their writers were on strike.

    Actonbell: Thank you!

    Linda: Welcome to 3WW!

    Boneman: Yeah, I haven't heard too much mudslinging yet. Won't be long.

    Mad Kane: Thanks for participating.

    Gay: Ah, OK. Thanks :)