Tuesday, August 23, 2011

I have experienced a year's worth of socialization in four days

The past few days brought a barrage of social activity to my life, the likes of which I have not seen quite possibly ever.

There were the annual toddler birthday rounds to make. You know, the cake and pull-up mixers. (We're 3 now, we've moved on from diapers.) But separate and apart from those, I managed to socialize with four different friends in three different settings. I had kinda forgotten I even had four friends.

A backyard bash for Nephew Bone kicked off the proceedings Thursday night. My sis rented one of those inflatable water slides. (The business is called Just Add Kidz, by the way. Love that name.)

Now inevitably, whenever you have that many kids together, someone starts trying to show out and go up the slide the wrong way.

And I almost made it once.

I actually think the adults may have enjoyed the slide even more than the kids -- for a little while. Hurling a 38-year-old body down a 20-foot water slide fifty times or so into a little catch net? You do the math. The next day I was sore in places that I'm not sure have ever been sore.

Sunday afternoon, I attended the godson's party. It was held at this place in the mall that has a bouncy castle and slides and other things for kids to play on. Well, I arrived six minutes early -- which is about eleven minutes earlier than I normally arrive -- and didn't recognize anyone.

So I proceeded to the counter where I had a bit of an awkward conversation with the girl there. I asked if this was the right place. She said yes but that they hadn't arrived yet. Then she asked if I had any kids with me, and I said no. But it felt more like, "No, I'm just an adult male with no offspring who enjoys attending kids' birthday parties. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go sit by the wall and try not to look too creepy."

Betwixt and between all that fun, I managed to hang out with the Darryls on Saturday night. We played XBox 360 and shot pool at LJ's, because... that's what 38-year-olds with no offspring do? Or perhaps that's the reason for the no offspring? Hmm, who knows how our lives get to be how they are.

While I wish I had some great new Darryls stories to share, the sad truth is that I do not. Mostly, we spent the evening not making new memories so much as talking about all the old ones. I can easily see the three of us having the exact same conversations with one another in a retirement home in forty years. One can only hope, right?

Oh, before I forget! I would like to close with one final anecdote I thought you would enjoy.

I guess it's been a bit of a struggle for Nephew Bone to learn to say "Uncle Bone." So my sister called me on Friday to inform me that "Nephew Bone has a new name for you."

(Pause for effect.)


(Pause again to allow laughter to subside.)

Me? A Bubba?

I don't think so.

But it was at this point I realized that he could have pretty much called me anything and I would have loved it. And before you get any ideas, Nephew Bone is the ONLY person who shall be able to get away with calling me this.

So anyway, as we're getting off the phone, my sister says, "Say bye Uncle Bone."

And I hear, "Bye, Bub-ba."

I reiterate. The. Only. Person.

"All the wild nights and bar fights, the ditches and blue lights, are a million dark nights gone before..."


  1. You don't know how hard it is NOT to call you your new nickname...LOL. (But I'll be good, Bone.) Have a lovely Wednesday~~ :~)

  2. I think I too will TRY to be good like Sweetest in the Gale, although it is SO tough....!!

  3. but what if I come up with a nickname for you and it just HAPPENS to be Bubba?

  4. Sweetest In The Gale - Thank you for obliging me. I'm not sure others will be so kind :)

    Gautami - Thanks. I must say, if the roles were reversed, I'm not so sure I could abstain :)

    Cami - I will de-Twitter you. And I KNOW you don't want that.

  5. Bubba Bone? I like it, I really like it........

  6. We have an inflatable water slide on the beach--the world's largest inflatable water slide. right near my house but I'm guessing it's not there today

    Glad you and the Darryl's have reached the discuss old memories stage. Means something but I'm not sure what "_

    See how I'm so sidestepping Uncle Bubba?! There's a man here who actually calls himself Bubba--has a professional office with the name Bubba Collins on it . Is in all kinds of committees and only uses Bubba. Cracks me up. I keep expecting to see Don Johnson when he was younger than you and truly good looking. Maybe I'm hoping :)

  7. you know that being from the south that Bubba is not just a nick name...parents actually name their children this. girls too!

    I remember the days of attending birthday parties for kids when I still had no offspring, kinda awkward. Kids playing, adults off to the side sipping beverages...sometimes we would get assigned jobs. But never be in charge of the music.

  8. Hmmn, I'm gonna' take pity on you and whisper something I doubt the parents of these cherubs thought to mention..

    Check your head for lice.

    Any gathering of more than 10 kids is bound to share more than cake.

    Just saying.. (grin)

  9. Are we really supposed to resist this...?!

  10. Bubba is fun to say when you add gump to it.
    I too feel strange attending social functions without a kid in tow to my friends kids functions. But its life and how else will they realize you are not a stranger :)
    Congrats on your world getting bigger!

  11. I would never classify you as a Bubba. Try to teach him Bone.

  12. I have missed you and I love that your nephew calls you Bubba.

  13. I have missed you. I love that your nephew calls you Bubba.

  14. You and THOUSANDS of others. Congratulations, you are a member of a very special southern fraternity of brothers...or bubbas.

    my human verification word- ashwants

    anyone else fascinated by the weirdness?

  15. Cooper - No, you don't. You can't.

    Pia - I know what this is. You haven't liked "Bone" as a name from the start! :)

    I'll make you a deal: You can keep calling me Uncle Bubba just as soon as you go down the inflatable water slide. (Video evidence required.)

    Renee - Well, that's true. Yet another reason I can't go by Bubba. There's too many already.

    I think they may have had a couple people assigned the task of making sure I didn't try and jump in the ball pit.

    Shrinky - Oh great, now I'm going to be imagining my head is itching all day. At least, I sure hope I'm imagining.

    J Adamthwaite - No. Not really. Maybe I could implement like a two-week grace period where "Bubba" is allowed. Then after that, outlaw it forever. Just as long as it doesn't catch on long-term.

    Madeleine - Uh... thanks? :)

    Daily Panic - I ate at a Bubba Gump's in New Orleans once. And George Strait's son is called Bubba, so I guess it's not all bad.

    OKChick - Thank you. And you've met me! So I think you'd know.

    PennyCandy - Penny Candy!!!!! You're back!!!!

    Kontan - There probably is a Bubba convention somewhere. As well as a Billy Bob one.

  16. Of course you're a Bubba. You're an Uncle and your from the South. What else would you be? :-)

    I wish you had stories of the newly married Darryl and his wife. I'm dying to hear how they are enjoying wedded bliss.