Thursday, April 15, 2010

Wonder whatever became of me?

Let's begin today with a little humor. Very little.

Phone call from Dad the other day:
"Did your sister tell you I'm getting an iPad?"
"What! No you are not."
"Yes, I am. I'm getting an iPad."
"Oh, Lord help us." (Thinking, how will he ever learn how to work it?)
"The doctor says I have cataracts, so after they do surgery I'm gonna have to wear an eye pad."

*smacking self on forehead*

These are my comedy roots. Knowing this, I think it's quite remarkable that I have ever made anyone laugh at all.

Easter has come and gone since the last time we commenced. Highlights included Nephew Bone hunting eggs. Although they weren't really hidden, they were just sort of strewn across the yard in plain view. Back when I used to hunt, the eggs were hard to find! They would be up in trees, across a busy street... Then again, I was thirty-six.

Then, of course, there's the Easter candy. How they came up with the combination of hiding eggs and eating candy I'll never know. Asking me to pick my favorite Easter candy is sort of like asking me to pick my favorite Wham! song -- virtually impossible and even the bad ones are pretty good.

However, Marshmallow Peeps are a perennial favorite around the Bone household. I especially appreciate the extra effort they take in putting two brown dots for the eyes on each and every chick. What was the thinking behind this? "No! You can't market them like that. No one will ever believe they're chickens unless they have eyes!"

This past Saturday, I ran my first 10K of the year. I say first, which would indicate that there will be at least one more in the lead-up to the half marathon of a still-to-be-determined date and location. I ran a 48:35 Saturday, good for a solid 66th-place finish. I also realized that I have the same thought when I get to every race and see hundreds of people milling around: Am I the only person here who isn't normally up at 6 AM on a Saturday!?!?

In other news of note, I think we may have skipped right over spring this year in the heart of Dixie. We had about two days of windy, 65-degree weather. Otherwise, we pretty much went straight from not-really-cold-enough-to-be-winter-but-too-gray-to-be-spring to may-as-well-call-it-summer. I briefly considered inventing another new season -- perhaps Spummer or Suing -- but I figure one new season is enough for one person for one lifetime. I don't want to be too prolific, else people will start expecting things.

Not that I'm complaining about the weather, mind you. I enjoy warmth, whether it's an inappropriate hug from a grandmotherly old lady who I don't really know or simply basking in the glow of our yellow sun. Temps have been in the 80's most of the last two weeks here and I've been taking full advantage, doing plenty of grilling, golfing and running.

Next weekend, I'll be heading up to Cincinnati to see my beloved Reds play. It'll be my first visit to Great American Ballpark, or Cincinnati for that matter, land of Johnny Bench and Johnny Fever. We're going to the game on Saturday. I'm open to suggestions for something to do that Sunday, as apparently there is, much to my dismay, not a WKRP In Cincinnati museum.

"From some other planet, I'd get this funky high on yellow sun. Boy, I bet my friends would all be stunned..."


  1. Hilarious Bone simply hilarious
    Your dad is really getting an Ipad? Woot!

    You don't hunt for Easter eggs anymore? Passed the torch?

  2. Your comedy roots run deep my friend.

    You crack me up.

    I am running a 5k, it's a run for Congo, and that is all they do. I suppose I could just keep on running - I mean I am competitive, and knowing you are doing 10.... I am feeling inadequate.

    Enjoy the ballgame. I have been to a lot of places..not Cincinnati.

  3. you had me goin there...I was thinking that perhaps your dad was getting the ipad cuz he needed a bigger screen. oh well, it made me laugh.

    and I totally believe that you hunted for Easter eggs this year too.

  4. that was a good one, the ipad! Glad you had a good Easter and a good run.

  5. Peeps are made right here, and I've watched the eyes being put on. They used to do them all by hand, but now most of them are automated. There is still one production line, however, where a worker sits and applies them to the hot peeps by hand.

  6. I guess I've stolen your spring. It has been beautiful spring weather up here for much of the last month and is forecasted to continue for at least the next ten days. I'm overjoyed... at your expense I guess so thanks.

  7. I'm shocked no WKRP museum?

    I'm impressed with your ruggedly athletic self running the 10K- I'm not going to compete this year, so I will live the runner life vicariously through my runner friends. Go you!

    I'll b over for lunch- throw some burgers on the grill... I'm hungry! (:

  8. Pia - Why thanks, Miss Pia. Nope, I didn't hunt this year, for the first time in... well anyway. I guess I really am passing the torch.

    Cooper - Thanks. Clearly, my dad gets full credit for any cracking up that may have been done.

    I'm competitive, too. Let's make a deal. Both of us agree to never run a full marathon. And if you do (or have) you promise to hide it from me forever.

    Renee - That's exactly what I was thinking as he was telling me!

    Sage - Well, that's pretty standard fare for him.

    Susan - Really??? I wish Mister Rogers was still around. That would have made a good and informative trip for him to do -- the Peep factory.

    Ed - You're welcome. I'm perfectly fine with more summer. You can keep spring, as long as you also keep your meteorites up that way, too.

    Daily Panic - I know, right? Maybe there's a WKRP Reality Tour. What else is Howard Hesseman doing these days?

    OK. I just hope you like your burgers well done :)

  9. I am the world's biggest idiot. Was very tired when I commented and didn't get the auditory pun

  10. Oh man, your Dad had me going. Did you groan when he told you that? Cuz I did when I read it.

    Sounds like you're enjoying yourself and really getting out there. Have fun in Cincinnati! Ya'll going to Kings Island?

    PS: Was I the only one disappointed in your lyrics? I know you've used them before, but I was expecting the WKRP lyrics.

  11. Your comedy roots are good ones. Well, the ipad joke made me laugh anyway!

    We've kind of missed Spring here too, or I have at least - I've been away for two weeks and the blossom on the trees has been and gone. It feels a bit eerie actually...

  12. Nice time on your 10K. I feel the same way when I go to races: why is everyone so perky and happy to be here? It's WAY too early to be awake!

    Luckily, our spring is still here. I'm sure it will only last another week. I'm enjoying it in the meantime. :o)

  13. Have fun in Ohio :)
    The weather here has been amazing- I hope it's not an indication of a broiling hot summer!
    I'll be at the beach if it is :)

  14. Pia - Oh, that's fine. I thought you were just kidding anyway :)

    TC - Yeah, I'm pretty sure there was a groan in there somewhere around the same time as the head-smacking.

    PS: Well, I thought about using those, but figured I'd go with something different since I used a line from the WKRP lyrics for my title.

    J Adamthwaite - Dad would be thrilled his joke was so well-received thought I might *forget* to tell him :)

    Charlotta - I think maybe there should be a night racing circuit.

    Mayden - Yeah, here too. We could be in for a hot one.

    Of course, as I type this I see the forecast is calling for rain this weekend in Cincinnati. Sigh.

  15. You simply must friend me on facebook. Why you ask? Well, I'll tell you why. Because, my friend, I have a friend in Huntsville who is very pretty and you just might like her (I've known her since I was 8). No, it's not me. Really. For real and for true. I wouldn't lie. Hmm. On second thot, you might know her already. Bigger hmm.

  16. I was going to say that I would like for you to run a half with me in OKC. But I would like to retract that statement. Bone we can no longer be friends because....
    Marshmallow Peeps are a perennial favorite around the Bone household.

  17. Did you even try to explain to your father what you initially thought he meant? My mom has a Kindle, and I've been shocked that she's figured out how to use it.