Saturday, March 13, 2010

I waited three years for this?

December, 2006. Oh what a night.

Do you remember where you were?

I sure do. For that was when I somehow coerced a female into an evening out with me. We went to the movies. The film? Rocky Balboa, not surprisingly. That was also the last time I had been to a movie theater. Until last weekend.

I don't know what it was that brought me back. Maybe it was all the talk about the Oscars. Maybe it was the lack of anything better to do. Or maybe it simply took me this long to coerce another female into spending an evening with me. Whatever it was, the almost-three-and-a-half-year streak is over.

It will go down as one of the great streaks of all-time. Right up there with not drinking any carbonated beverages for sixty-three consecutive days in the late nineties, my 18-game winning streak in online Scrabble, and of course, "The Streak" by Ray Stevens.

So what did I see? Well, I considered the usual suspects -- The Blind Side, The Hurt Locker -- but you don't end a streak as impressive as this one with some run-of-the-mill Oscar-nominated Hollywood fluff. Also, neither of those were playing at the quadplex that we attended. No, our choices were Valentine's Day, Alice In Wonderland, Shutter Island, and Cop Out.

So naturally, we/I decided on Cop Out. If the streak was gonna die, it was going out with a classic. Co-starring Tracy Morgan and the incomparable Bruce Willis, along with special guest star Stiffler from American Pie, how could we go wrong?

The theater was pretty much state-of-the-art... for the 1980's. I half-expected to see a Tab dispenser on their soda fountain. And as someone who has only been to the movies twice in the past three-plus years, I won't attempt to do a movie review. But let me just say this was the best Bruce Willis movie I've seen since Sixth Sense.

Of course, it's also the first Bruce Willis movie I've seen since Sixth Sense. But now I'm just splitting hairs.

"Oh, what a night. Late December back in '63. What a very special time for me, 'cause I remember what a night..."


  1. Seems like an appropriate movie for that theater, since it seems similar to so many 80's movies. I fear the movie choice however might have hurt your chances with the spending-time-with-the-female part of the evening. Although if she agreed with your choice, then she's a keeper.

  2. wow, if the girl agreed to see that with you then she must be interested.

    I don't go to the movies all that often either and usually I'm left wondering why I paid that much when I can wait and rent it on DVD. sigh At least at home I have free popcorn and soda, and the volume isn't cranked up enough that it splits my eardrums.

  3. I'd gone for Alice in Wonderland... but then, if the date had major tattoos and a Hulk Hogan t-shirt, Bruce Willis was the movie of choice. Did she have you in a head lock?

    Ray Stevens and The Streak, how can we forget.

  4. I am truly shocked. I don't even know what to say. And, any girl who doesn't think Tracy Morgan, Bruce Willis, and Stiffler are amazingly funny are seriously not worth one minute of your time. Just saying.

    And. You should go see The Blindside. Just saying.

  5. you SHOULD see blind side. if no other movies, ever.

    sincerely, the quiet riot formerly known as born to be mild east of the mississippi toward oregonia. :)

    sorry I haven't been around in a while.. facebook has eaten my soul. As it turns out, many (most) of my childhood friends are IN Hunstville. You may be one of them. I know not. Seriously, tho, you probably know my friends. Funny.

  6. I like Sage's description of your date. I'm picturing more Randy Savage-like and offering you a Slim Jim.

    I enjoy your taste in questionably bad music. I just purchased 'It Might Be You' by Stephen Bishop from iTunes this week. I'm not sure which song is the worst.

  7. FYI - Tracy Morgan isn't the least bit funny but I feel safe admitting that because we aren't dating. :-)

  8. I agree with the others. If a girl went willingly with you to see Cop Out and agreed with you about whether or not it was a good movie is a Keeper.

    However, I have to wonder why you chose to go to a theater that wasn't playing an Oscar winning movie or at least some movie that was miles above the choices you had at the theater you did go to.

  9. Susan - You know, I thought about that as I was writing this post. Maybe I should re-evaluate my movie choices :)

    Renee - Yeah, I'm the same way. I don't even rent movies that often, though. Usually just catch something on cable. Do ya'll have Redbox rentals out there? A dollar a movie!

    Redbox killed the video store.

    Sage - No, no head lock. I'm not big on PDA :)

    Yep, The Streak: fastest thing on two feet.

    Cami - OK, which part were you shocked by? The three-and-a-half years?

    I know. It's been out so long now that I'll probably just end up renting it.

    Shelby - Facebook'll do that.

    And you're still East of Oregon, in location, if not in name :)

    Murf - OK, it disturbs me only slightly that no one thinks I would be the one in the Hulk Hogan t-shirt and tattoo.

    I'm not familiar with that song so I had to YouTube it. Now I know you just like it because it has the line "watching trains go by" and it makes you think of Sage.

    Xinh - Willingly is such a strong word. I did say "coerced" didn't I? :)

    So you're saying that of the choices I had, I picked the best one, right? Thanks!

  10. Okay then, The long time between movie theater visits isn't supposed to happen until after you are married and have kids.

    Please tell me that at the very least you went to the mall for dinner either before or after the movie.

    The Streak...not a picture I needed to be remined of. We had a streaker at our high school in the 70s and it was my next door neighbor during her high school graduation ceremony.

    Did she like the movie?

  11. My friends Dogg and Judge would want to open you up and dissect you. OK, that sounds wrong, but they'd basically think you were from another planet or something. Why do I say this? Because they think I'm abnormal in my movie-going habits of one-to-two movies per year. They just wouldn't be able to fathom that someone goes even LESS often than I do.

    (In fact, next time they're making fun of me for that, I might mention I know this guy who only goes once every 3.5 years. You won't mind, will you? Thanks.)

    There's this small theatre in the town I'm living in that does like dinner and a movie all in one. It's cheap; the movie costs $3 I think, and pizza's a buck a slice or something like that. Anyway, I was hopeful of them getting The Blind Side last week because two weeks ago they had the 2nd Twilight movie, but alas, they went to The Princess and the Frog instead. I've actually seen The Blind Side, but it's so good I'd go back. Especially for only $3.

  12. wow, I'd never have known a Bruce Willis was still making movies, had you not written this...thanks. ;)

  13. I don't go to the cinema all that often either (although it hasn't been that long!) but why is it that all the year's good films seem to come out at once?! There's several films I'd like to see at the moment... I'm being tangential here, I know...

  14. "The Streak" by Ray Stevens.
    No comment :) Funny as usual. My comments are becoming boring if they haven't been already
    I'm waiting for my streaming netflik fix the firmware CD (the download was corrupted of course) so I can watch movies two years after anybody else
    I have 62 movies in my queue and forced myself to stop because why look at things that won't work?
    I kinda like being this out of touch. I remind me of you but worse :)
    You did have some hard decisions. I love Tracy Morgan and Bruce Willis is not just a classic but was my bartender once :)

  15. A date? Can we get more details? Come on, I spill my guts!

  16. Well....??? Was it worth the wait? The female, not the movie! "Enquiring minds want to know." :)

  17. PennyCandy - Ooo, a female streak?! I just realized, maybe because of the song, that I had definitely stereotyped streaks as mostly male.

    Um, I think so. Probably about as much as me.

    TC - Wow, remind me to stay away from them then. I wouldn't mind being hynotized or abducted, but dissected? No thanks.

    That sounds like a great deal! Of course, I'm guessing movie theater pizza is probably similar to bowling alley pizza.

    Cooper - It wasn't so much a movie as art in motion.

    J Adamthwaite - I don't know if it's because I'm getting older or because the quality of movies has declined, but I find there are fewer and fewer movies that make me think, "I gotta see that when it comes out."

    Pia - Wow. Corrupted download. That reminds me of the old dial-up internet days when you'd wait three hours to download a file and then it'd be corrupt.

    I remind me of you but worse

    Great line :) Bruce Willis was your bartender??? Really?!

    Actonbell - Thanks. It was good to be able to make my return to theater movies without a lot of fanfare.

    OKChick - Who said it was a date? :) You do spill your guts. Me? I'm more of an international man of mystery. Or maybe just a national man of mystery.

    SmallTownGirl - You girls crack me up.

  18. I just realized I never mentioned my "The Sixth Sense" story, which is unlike me given I mention it practically any time that movie comes up in conversation. That movie was my first date. Yeah, I was kinda late to the game.

    And now that I think about it, right about that time I decided "dinner and a movie" was kind of a lame date idea (when you're first going out). I wonder if there's some connection I'm missing here?

    Also, reading the comments about streakers made me think of the only streaker I saw. Junior year of college, WI vs OSU in football. It poured all nt. We beat them in a big upset. And as we all left Camp Randall, this guy was streaking thru the streets, slipped and fell on his...well, let's just say I've never heard someone or something howl like that prior or since then. And that was before the cops took him away.

    I even felt sympathy pains, so I can only imagine what guys felt.