Let us not beat around the bush or tiptoe about the proverbial daisies any longer. Clearly, we have some issues that need to be discussed.
We've drifted apart.
(Blog responds with a series of beeps and electronic noises similar to R2D2, or at least that's what I imagine.)
No, it has nothing to do with Facebook. Why do you always bring her up? She means nothing to me. I only use her for Scrabble.
I'm committed to you. We've been together for over six years. That's the longest relationship I've ever had... with a blog. Or... a girl.
I want this to work, too! But why does everything I write have to be perfect and grandiose?
Well, that's how you make me feel. Like nothing is ever good enough.
Well, I'm not Dooce! I'm me! Nice to meet ya! Maybe if you made as much money as her blog does, I could quit my job and spend all day with you.
I'm sorry. That was uncalled for.
Look, I admit, I have been neglecting you. But I'm here now. Fighting for you. Fighting for us. Doesn't that count for anything?
Where did we go wrong? Remember when we first began, we'd do it like two or three times a day. Then it was once a day. And now we're lucky if we do it once a week. When did it become such a chore? I mean, I still enjoy it when we do get together.
We sure had some good times, didn't we? You stuck with me during my ALL CAPS phase and those early days of zero and one comments, when all we had or needed was each other.
I miss you. I miss us.
Do you remember the first time we went all the way... to 50 comments? That's right, the Nuvaring post. *sniff* You do remember!
Oh blog, come here, I just wanna publish you right here and now.
"Try to see it my way. Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong. While you see it your way, there's a chance that we might fall apart before too long. We can work it out..."