Wednesday, April 08, 2009

Party like it's 1983

Friday night, I attended a birthday party for a 10-year-old girl. (It's this or nothing, alright?) The party was for Kywana Jr. She is the godson's stepsister, which basically makes her my step-god-niece. Or something. So pretty much, I had to go. Also, I believe the children are our future. Teach them well and let them lead the way.

Upon arrival, I found myself standing near a circle of five moms, with no other males in sight. After about five minutes of mom talk, I was starting to think this wasn't such a good idea. Wanting to add something to the conversation, I quipped, "Oh, was I supposed to bring a kid?" Then two of the moms started talking about how they couldn't find jeans to fit their daughters' butts. At which point, I made like a defecting Soviet gymnast and snuck away.

Once inside the house I finally spotted some people I knew. The male half of Kywana came out from wherever he had been hiding and Setup Girl showed up with the kid who was almost mine. Then cupcakes and cheese puffs were served and things were starting to look up.

While eating, I eavesdropped on conversations about Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. Again trying to add something to the conversation, I told everyone that the male portion of Kywana was my brother from another mother. That's when Kywana Jr. grabbed one of her little friends and said, "This is my sister from another mister." I started to think about the biological implications, then I just stopped my brain. When Kywana asked who all was spending the night, I raised my hand, but it was not to be.

The next order of business was to pick a movie. I suggested Rocky II, but unfortunately that wasn't one of our choices. We could pick between Bolt (which I'd never heard of), Bedtime Stories, and Marley & Me.

One little girl informed us that she was not allowed to watch Marley & Me. Personally, I thought that was taking the whole Team Aniston/Team Jolie thing way too far. But then she went on to say that she couldn't watch movies where something bad happens to an animal, and she heard something bad happens to Marley. At which point, Setup Girl said, "Well, we could always watch Old Yeller."

Anyway, we wound up watching Bedtime Stories. They had a big projection screen set up in the driveway, and we all sat in the garage and watched. And by all, I mean me, the projection screen guy, one Dad, and the sisters from different misters.

The movie started a bit slow. I thought of slipping out early, but decided to stick it out since there was free popcorn. It was definitely geared towards kids, which makes it all the more strange that a couple of times during the movie I found that I was the only one laughing.

Finally, it was time to go. In addition to the girls, there were two little boys that attended the party who I took to be brothers (from the same mother). One looked to be about Kywana Jr.'s age, and the other a few years younger. When they got ready to leave, Kywana Jr. surprised the older kid with a kiss on the cheek. Instantly, his little brother took off running full speed for the door.

I laughed. I don't remember much about 1983--when I was ten--but it must have been a lot like this. Without the projection screen. Also, fewer girls.

"A little girl came through the front gate holdin' a fishing pole. His dad looked down and smiled, said we can't leave her behind. Son, I know you don't want her to go, but someday you'll change your mind..."

26 comments:

  1. Bone, you kind of made my day..er..evening..er..night! Whatever. I bet you had a good time but you won't own it up.

    And if I served free popcorn, would you visit me in India?

    Answer it as truthfully as you can...

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  2. Marley dies in the Marley & Me movie...but it isn't until the end and he's a very old dog. However, I know that my child won't want to see it either. I have to read these animal stories first and place a post-it where the animal is about to die so she can quit reading it. I really need to get the book "no more dead dogs!" I'm sure it will be funny.

    So you didn't bring a date or a kid to this party? wow! life?

    I should tease you like that...tonight Darly will be staying at a friend's house and I'm sure dh & I will just watch TV.

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  3. A male coworker just recommended Marley and Me to me yesterday. He said to bring a box of tissues. Sounds like a good movie to watch during allergy season - could really help clear the sinuses.

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  4. I should do a post about going to a Hannah Montana concert, but I keep trying to forget! Great post, Bone, but a heck of a way for a single guy to spend a free Friday evening.

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  5. Man, I loved the part about the little boy who took off running. Give him about 10 years :)

    As you mentioned, at least you got to spend a Friday night with a lot of girls. That's always a plus in any man's world.

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  6. Gautami - Well, thank you. I always wonder what time it is over there.

    I dunno, I think you'd have to throw in some Coke or something, too.

    Renee - Gee, thanks for spoiling it for those of us who haven't seen it :)

    Eh, that's what happens when your friends get married and procreate. You hang out with them and their kids... and their kids' friends.

    Charlotta - Oh, if you're having allergy troubles, I might also recommend Mister Holland's Opus. And Sixth Sense. When Bruce Willis says, "You were never second. Ever." Oh man.

    Sage - Thanks. Haha. Yes, you should do a post about going to a Hannah Montana concert. I think you'll find it's very liberating. Also, it would make me feel better.

    TC - Yep, that's what I was thinking. Oh you just wait. Running can be fun. But being caught isn't so bad.

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  7. I want to see Bedtime Story.

    I think your Friday night sounds fun. You got cupcakes and popcorn. I mean, really, what more do you need in life?

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  8. By the way, I was 2 in 1983. How old does that make you feel?

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  9. could you please begin to submit so I don't have to comment anymore telling you what line I found the funniest--when most are--etc

    That way I can just edit the submission and say I had something to do with a BoneHead's success

    I didn't know that about Marley & Me. Thought it was a feel good movie. Now i won't see it even if Marley is old and had a wonderful life

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  10. Oh my gosh. You quoted one of my least favorite songs ever. Oh well at least you mentioned cupcakes....

    I attended my niece's 9th birthday party on Friday, and it was at a spa....you'd have fit in well there too.

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  11. Bone: Since OK Chic wanted to make you feel old I'll make you feel young. In 1983 I was 21 and engaged to married.

    Running from a kiss that will change very soon.

    Glad you had fun even though you won't really admit it out loud. Besides any party is better than staying home to watch the paint dry.

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  12. hello... hapi blogging... have a nice day! just visiting here....

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  13. I would've chosen to watch Bolt over Bedtime Stories. It's a cartoon that's got a Dog and no one dies.

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  14. "Well, we could always watch Old Yeller."

    *snorting soda out my nose*

    PennyCandy said... In 1983 I was 21 and engaged to married.

    So how did that work out anyway? If the guy turns out to be a creep, drop him like a bad habit and give me a call, okay, Cutie Blue Eyes?

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  15. "Sisters from another mister"...I love it! That line reminds me of a song from "White Christmas." And what a good guy for seeing the entertainment value in the tweenie bopper party. 1983 - I was partyin' like a grown-up at 19. Bolt was a fun movie. The rodent is hilarious.

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  16. Okay...Side note...I wasn't even born in 1983 :) Feel old now?

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  17. This is so funny. You at a party watching a projector screen movie in the driveway with little kids, is this what I have to look forward to?

    It does sounds like fun, but I can see right through you, if it weren't for that popcorn you'd have been gone in a flash.

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  18. You are a brave guy Bone. I think being invited to such an event would cause me to run screaming like a little sister from another mister.

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  19. OKC - It's pretty cute. Started kinda slow, but like I said, I was laughing in a few places.

    lol That makes me feel about eight years older than you. Thanks :)

    Pia - Hearing what line you found the funniest is one of my favorite parts of comments :)

    Yeah, if I had gone to see it I would have left feeling misled and betrayed.

    Ally - Sorry about the song. At least this one (hopefully) won't get stuck in your head.

    Yeah, I don't get cupcakes that often, unlike some people :)

    PennyCandy - Thanks. That made me smile :)

    OK, I admit it. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. How did you guys figure me out?

    Hapi - Hello. Thanks for visiting.

    Xinh - I'm not too big on animated movies. Well, except for the South Park movie.

    Doohickie - Yeah, that was my favorite part, too. Sadly, I'm not sure any of the kids had heard of Old Yeller.

    Balou - Yeah, that was the first time I'd ever heard that line. It cracked me up to.

    Thanks. I guess my theory is to find entertainment in whatever situation I find myself.

    Jen - Well, all I can say is you missed some great music in the early eighties.

    Cooper - If you're lucky. It was either that or go home and play online Scrabble.

    Yeah, the popcorn definitely helped. By the time I finished my second bag (they were small), the movie was half over.

    Ed Abbey - Thanks. I texted a friend after I'd been there about five minutes and said, "This may have been a big mistake."

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  20. Think attending these things is bad? Wait until you have to host them!

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  21. While eating, I eavesdropped on conversations about Hannah Montana and the Jonas Brothers. Again trying to add something to the conversation, I told everyone that the male portion of Kywana was my brother from another mother. That's when Kywana Jr. grabbed one of her little friends and said, "This is my sister from another mister." I started to think about the biological implications, then I just stopped my brain. When Kywana asked who all was spending the night, I raised my hand, but it was not to be.

    Hilarious paragraph

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  22. Sister from another mister isn't an expression I've heard before but it's one that tickles me. I'm not sure why - I can cope with brother from another mother without collapsing into a giggling heap, but not so with the sisters. Maybe it's because I can imagine it so clearly said by a ten year old girl.

    I wasn't that cool when I was ten. I was part of the BFC, which was a secret club code named the Big Friendly Carrot (and in fact stood for the Boyfriend Club and involved Filofaxes and a massive lack of boyfriends). Sigh.

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  23. Rocky II! LOL.

    You were only ten in '83??? *sigh*

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  24. BTW, Kywanna Jr isn't godson's stepsister. She's his half sister. They both have the same mom. Just wanted to point that out.

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  25. I'm confused. I thought Marley lived a long and healthy life with a family that loves him, before he finally died a natural death.

    I don't remember anything bad happening to him.

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  26. I have had to endure lots of kids parties over the years take my advice settle them in then go. If you had to stay you should of watched bolt its not that bad and funny in places.

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