Friday, April 17, 2009

Two birds, one stone

Welcome to the Friday Fifteen. Think of it like a Thursday Thirteen, except bigger and far less popular. Far, far less popular. This post will attempt to kill two birds with one stone, serving to update you on my life while also clearing out my mental cache. And also giving me something to post. Well, that's three birds, but that would be impossible. Believe it or not, I have a lot of random thoughts that come into my head throughout the day, as you will see. Sometimes I wonder, where do they come from? And why me?

1. I wonder how the two-birds-with-one-stone cliche started. Did it have a literal beginning? Did someone somewhere along the timeline of history actually kill two birds with one stone? And if so, was it intentional? Were they a bird stoning trick shot artist? Or was it an accident? Like did the stone hit a huge branch, breaking it and causing it to fall on two birds, sending them to a sudden and tragic demise? And if it never really happened, then who came up with this cliche? Do you have any idea how hard it is to even hit one bird with one stone? Well, me neither, but it's bound to be pretty difficult.

2. Two Byrds With One Stone would be a great title if Roger McGuinn, David Crosby, and Mick Jagger ever recorded an album together. (I tried to find a pic of the three of them together to post, but surprisingly there were none to be found. At least not on page one of my google image results.)

3. At the car wash today, there was a lady standing at the thing where you pay. She asked, "Strawberry or Pina Colada?" At first, I thought they were giving away refreshing beverages, but turns out it was just a free car air freshener for customer appreciation day.

4. I wonder if a car air freshener would work in the house.

5. Cinco de mayo will mark my six year bloggiversary. Do I have to post something for that?

6. Spurred on by my recent string of plumbing successes--or, just that one thing--I decided to try and fix the toilet at work yesterday. Mission accomplished. We can now flush the men's room toilet without having to hold the lever down for seven seconds. Who knows, I could have a whole new career on my hands. Or, a career.

7. Why is McDonald's so fast in the morning and so much slower at all other times of the day?

8. My favorite line from The Office last night: "Hear me, Dwight, when I say I brought you into this world, and I can take you out... Bill Cosby."

9. My second favorite line: "I. Understand. Nothing."

10. Which came first, the can or the can opener? If it was the can, how did they open them? And if it was the can opener, just... why?

11. Sunday night, it was incredibly windy here. No rain, no thunder, just wind. For about three hours. It was eerie. The next day, the news called it a gravity wave. When I went to go running Monday afternoon, the entrances to the park were roped off and there looked to be about twenty or thirty trees down, apparently from this gravity wave. I had to drive twenty minutes to another park to run.

12. That's the only time I've been running this week. Apparently, I'm not too lazy to run, just too lazy to drive very far to do it.

13. My fantasy baseball league draft is tonight. And you thought all I did on weekends was hang out with 10-year-olds. Well, not tonight. Tonight I'll be sitting online for two or three hours pretending to draft real players onto my fake baseball team. I finished in 4th place last year (out of ten teams). This season, I'm shooting for the stars. Or, third place.

14. Tomorrow, fave sister and I will be attending Bama's A-Day game. Also known as the final scrimmage of spring practice. ESPN is televising it. Let me say that again. ESPN is televising our spring practice.

15. We leave for the beach in thirteen days. Unfortunately, it's been an unseasonably cool April. I like for it to at least be in the 80's when I'm at the beach. I'll still go if it's in the 70's, but I can't promise that I won't get chilly at night. Oh well. Surely if Kennedy diffused the Cuban Missile Crisis in thirteen days, surely the weather can warm up by then.

"Bring me two pina coladas. I want one for each hand. Let's set sail with Captain Morgan. Oh, and never leave dry land..."


  1. A gravity wave--that sounds like something to good to remember when I need to blame something other than myself...

    I'm reading my 3x Rick Bragg book--writing about being a sports reporter, he said this about football: "People have said it is what we (Alabamans) do now instead of dueling"

  2. Dude, I'm sooooooooooo jealous of your upcoming beach trip it's not even funny. Last year when I went it was FREEZING. I do not let this deter me from enjoying the sand and the waves. You shouldn't either.

    I'm always grateful for a look inside your head. Posts like this explain so much :-)

  3. I posted a list of 15 things today too, but it wasn't even remotely similar to your list. When I got to the part about the air freshener, I totally knew what lyrics I'd find at the bottom of the post. Clearly the world's most brilliant minds were thinking on the same wavelength today. :o)

  4. You got a couple of LOLs outta me with your list.

  5. I have often wondered the same thing about McDonalds. and any other fast food place for that matter. Usually Chick Fil A is super fast, but last time we went through, it took like 20 min. Hope it warms up for your trip!

  6. 6 years? That is impressive Bone.

    I'm a little worried that this toilet thing might become an obsession.

    "I. Understand. Nothing." Is just a great line period.

    You can't take the smell out of the house with fresheners Bone, you actually have to clean it.

    I'll be at a beach for a few days, next week after my conference this weekend. If things work out.

    Take care bone, I may just beat you to that Pina Colada, only mine tastes more like Gin and Tonic.

  7. apparently most people IN Colorado are not actually FROM Colorado and don't have a clue how to drive in snow. But I did okay...I only slid once and there wasn't anyone around me at the time.

    That was a lot to get off your chest...I hope you feel better and enjoy your weekend!

  8. Sage - It was weird. Never experienced anything like that before. There was wind damage everywhere.

    Ah, I keep meaning to check him out.

    TC - I remember one time several years ago being at the beach and people were wearing coats and gloves and I thought, this just isn't right.

    Thanks. I figure if nothing else, it'll give posterity something to study.

    R8chel - Clearly the world's most brilliant minds were thinking on the same wavelength today.And so were ours ;-)

    Doohickie - That's all I ask for.

    Mrs. Root - Hmm, good point. The thing I absolutely hate is when they make you pull up and wait. It's supposed to be FAST food.

    Cooper - Thank you. Who says I can't commit.

    Yeah, but until I get around to cleaning... I'm kidding. Actually, I cleaned last week :)

    Oh, that's fine. I think I may already be high on fumes from this air freshener anyway. That's strong stuff!

    Renee - Oh, so they're like you? :) Well, no one here knows how to drive in snow. I mean, how would we?

  9. Maybe the bird thing is originally about hunting birds and using the same stone to kill more than one bird (although not necessarily at the same time). I read something about it being about killing witches in Tudor times... but I'm not convinced by that explanation. I love thinking about the origins of things like that... not that I often find anything concrete out.

    I enjoyed reading this post. Your head works a bit like mine I think. Only with more baseball.

  10. Bone I have never before witnessed the evolution of a great comedic mind of somebody I know on paper.

    I continue to be overwhelmed by your mind--so can only imagine how you feel

    It was all hilarious--from 1-15 but somehow the line that sticks out was the strawberry / pina colada one because I wouldn't want either in a car let alone my house

    Then there was your new career as a toilet flusher fixer. Something I think you should seriously think about

    1 is something I have given serious thought to and 2 is incredible especially At least not on page one of my google image results.)

    Love watching your comedic mind develop

    And we need hot weather in the South. I was happy when they declared a number of counties in SC drought fre, this week, but as this all happened since I came really wished I wasn't so talented in drought ending. My poor family didn't have one hot day but they claimed to like it anyway
    Today is supposed to be hot. But....

    Great weekend post. What am I saying? Great post. I got so excited by it and my over long comment--but I'm your tor so I can,I almost hit "publish" without a name--hope you would have known who it was and not thought "some crazy person." Oh you think that anyway...

    Yes you have to post for Cinco de Mayo--in Spanish--TC can help you

  11. 2. That's good!
    3. What a disappointment!
    5. Congrats, and OF COURSE
    6. Um, you should not let people in on the secret that you can do this--just like back in the day, it was also best for a woman not to advertise her typing abilities.
    7. ...because the staffing gets younger.
    10. They came together
    15. The beach is always a good time!
    Life is beautiful:)

  12. Yes you have to post for Cinco de Mayo--in Spanish--TC can help youOh, I'm alllllllllll over that! :-D Sign me up!

    One of the first things we're gonna do is get the correct spelling of piña colada down ;-)

  13. Bone they are not any faster in the morning they just seem faster because we are not fully awake yet so it doesn't bother us.

    Enjoy the beach.

  14. LOL...this Bonehead is applauding with aplomb over your list of 15 things. Early congrats on your Cinco de Mayo 6th blogivversary! A celebratory post from you will absolutely be necessary. :~)

    I leave for the beach in 14 days...I can't wait! Thanks again for making me laugh -- have a wonderful weekend.

  15. J. Adamthwaite - That's an interesting thought. Because if it was a good rock, it makes sense the thrower/slinger would want to recover it. Maybe it was a lucky rock.

    I kinda like not knowing the origins, and just kind of imagining what they are on my own :)

    Pia - So you've witnessed the evolution of a great comedic mind of someone you don't know? :)

    It's quite overwhelming. I think that's why I nap so much.

    Thanks. Especially for mentioning my Rolling Stones/Byrds idea. I was most proud of that.

    Actonbell - 6. Why was it best for a woman not to advertise her typing abilities?

    10. I've considered that. It seems unlikely. Or at least, less fun :)

    TC - *eye roll* I knew that'd be right up your callejon.

    PennyCandy - I dunno. Most mornings they're like holding the bag out the window before I even get to the window.

    Fledgling Poet - Ah, aplomb. I love that word.

    Thanks much.

    Wow, we have near simultaneous beach trips planned :) Have fun!

  16. 1. I'm glad I'm not the only person pondering things that....well, don't really matter.

    7. The breakfast menu, I'm guessing, is smaller plus I'd guess most people just order one item (or two at the most) at breakfast (say a sausage biscuit) whereas for lunch they might order a burger (without lettuce, with extra mayo, and hold the pickles), fry, and drink...and maybe even an apple pie. Thus each order takes longer to prepare.

    10. Excellent question. I think they were invented simultaneously.

  17. hahahahah
    thanks Bone!

    I am going to guess the can came first! didn't they open them with some odd tool in cowboy movies??

    Love your fri. 15 and your mental cache!

  18. Oh god, do we all have to do Friday 15. The last thing you began turned out pretty darn good :)

  19. Strawberry or Pina Colada- which one did you get? You left us hanging.

    "Sunday night, it was incredibly windy here. No rain, no thunder, just wind." You just described OK. No, you really did!

  20. Your randomness is refreshingly normal to me. I wish more people were honest about their random thoughts. Perhaps there'd be more smiles to go around if that were the case.

    Congratulations in advance on six years of blogging, and I can't wait to hear about the beach!

  21. Didn't look too shabby on Saturday-- it'll be interesting to see how the new guys fit in- if they fit in!

    Roll Tide Roll!

  22. Strawberry, or Pina Colada?
    Why not Pepperoni Pizza, or Freshly Baked Bread, or Cinnabun?
    Or even better, New Car Smell. Yeah, you know you want that Air Freshener.

  23. 9. My second favorite line: "I. Understand. Nothing."
    These were very pondering thoughts and I can't advise...

    Tree's down. bummer. glad I have a treadmill.

  24. wow, thats a lotta thoughts in one post! lol

    loling that you fixed the toilet at work! you are a nut!

    Going to the beach eh? So long as you are with people you enjoy the weather wont matter much at all!

    Happy Tuesday! (oh and its ur turn on the worlds longest game of scrabble...)

  25. I must have read 14 several times and the significance of Bama spring practice and what you did Saturday didn't hit

  26. When r you going to be in Destin?
    send me an e-mail, i tried to send you one and it didn't go.

  27. hey bone - destin is just down the road. i'm ready to unmask this mysterious man - take the glasses off Clark Kent so to speak. Look for me...I'll be the one with the sign that reads: "Desperately seeking BONE" - LOL! (You're the Best - keep me laughing!)

  28. Gravity wave? Sounds like the plot for a bad movie of the week!

  29. I always feel intimidated by thirteens and fifteens because I can barely cope with the 3's, which happen on my blog only on off days.

    It's a good way to get a peek into the life of someone, probably why I tend to avoid them but enjoy reading these little clues about other people.

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