Friday, August 22, 2008

Babies R Us

Guess what.

If you guessed that I shaved my facial hair, you are correct. I actually did it a few months ago. It was a pretty big decision, but I figured it was time.

Did you notice anything else different in the picture? Look closely and see if you notice... A WHOLE OTHER PERSON!!!

That's right, my friends. After all these years, I've finally done it. I'm an uncle! Say hello to Nephew Bone. (He's the one on the left.) This picture was taken just as I was telling him all about blogging.

My sister was admitted to the hospital early Tuesday morning to be induced. Nephew Bone finally arrived Wednesday evening at 8 pounds, 3 ounces. I figure thirty-six hours isn't that long to wait for a whole 'nother person, right sis? And no, they didn't name him Seven or Jacob Martin, despite my constant urging friendly suggestion.

From what I can tell, here is a breakdown of how Nephew Bone spends his day:

Sleeping - 70%
Eating - 15%
Causing people to swoon by opening his eyes - 10%
Whining at bothersome, albeit sometimes attractive, nurses - 5%

Total time spent looking cute = 100%

I want to be the best uncle ever. And by best uncle, I mean, fave uncle. However, I've been unable to find any books on uncle-ing, so I've had to come up with other means of research. I have devised what I think you will find is a simple, yet comprehensive two-pronged approach.

First, I have been trying to recall things my uncles taught me. Things like if you hit a golf ball just so, it will run along the cart path and greatly increase shot distance. Although I guess I would have eventually figured that out myself.

Secondly, I have been trying to catch reruns of Full House, Dukes Of Hazzard, and My Three Sons whenever I can. I figure the knowledge I can glean from Uncle Joey, the Uncles Jesse, Uncle Charley and other famous uncles will be invaluable. And what about that old guy on Lost In Space? Was he an uncle, or just some odd character they picked up somewhere in the galaxy?

It is an incredible thing hold a baby while thinking he wasn't even born a few hours before. To experience the miracle of life is... indescribable. I can only imagine how it will be someday when I finally impregnate some unsuspecting girl.

What? I didn't want you to think this was going to turn into one of those boring uncle blogs. I promise a return to golf, General Hospital, and other uninhibited bachelor tales very soon.

I also want to say congratulations to Kywana on the birth of their son this past Monday. He is beautiful! And thanks for letting me be part of that. Well, a small part. It's not like I was there for the delivery or anything. I am also honored they have chosen me to be Kywana Jr's godfather. Starting immediately, you may refer to me as Godfather B.

It's been a busy week around here. Lots of time spent in hospitals. I am most thankful that everything went smoothly (easy for me to say) and that everyone is healthy.

There are two less pregnant women in the world. Two new beautiful Bama fans. And one proud new uncle and godfather.

"His fingerprints are everywhere. I just slowed down to stop and stare. Opened my eyes and man I swear, I saw God today..."


  1. Congratulations!! My husband became an uncle last year, and he thinks it's a pretty sweet job :) Now that we're married, I'm officially an aunt, which, apparently, is still not as cool as being the uncle (if you ask my nephew, that is).

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  3. Many, many, many congratulations. Having a nephew is the greatest thing on the face of the earth. I know, I speak from experience.

    He's absolutely adorable, but then, you obviously already knew that.

    As for a "boring uncle blog"... well, you made it this long without ever mentioning the fact that he was coming, I doubt that's a worry.

    Glad to hear everyone is healthy and happy.

  4. Congrats to Uncle Bone and your sis!!!!

  5. First Congratulations! You have some pretty big shoes to fill there.
    I went to ask my resident expert on great uncles (DD) "what makes a great uncle?" and she just shrugged her shoulders. LOL!

    In our family my BIL Uncle Steve is the favorite of all the kids. In trying to figure out what gives him the best uncle status, I'm coming up short too.

    I guess the first thing was that Uncle Steve is still a kid at heart. He's totally willing to get down and play whatever the kids are playing. No matter what. (I hear you're really good at that with the video games...just watch the language though! although Uncle Steve has been known to "let the explatives fly!")

    From our experience what makes a bad uncle (my brother for instance) is to constantly tease the child. DD doesn't like my brother.

    I think you'll do pretty good at this uncle thing.

    as for the godfather thing... hummm ;) be at all the important events and bring good presents!

  6. 1216 etc. - Thanks! Yeah, I figure as the uncle, I can take him places, give him candy, and never have to get on to him. Seems like a pretty sweet gig.

    Someone - Thank you. I thought it was going to be pretty cool. Then I saw him, and it was like a hundred times cooler than I even thought.

    Groovie - Thanks! Good to see you around.

    Renee - Thank you. LOL Your "let the expletives fly" comment cracked me up.

    For some reason, I tend to get along well with children and pets, so I should be in good shape there.

    I figured I'd get the godson Boggle for his first birthday.

  7. Congratulations! I've missed out on the best of the uncle stuff by living so far away...

  8. Congrats Uncle/Godfather Bone

    He looks as if he's absorbing all that blogging talk :)

    I loved all my uncles. They all played with me so....And when I got older each had qualities the others didn't...

    My niece was very psyched when her other aunt moved in with her boyfriend so now she has an uncle

    I'm so happy for you Uncle Bone

  9. Congrats to your sister and Kywana on the births of their babies and congrats to you for being a cool Uncle and Godfather!

  10. dear godfatherb.... beautiful!!!... i am so happy, happy, happy for you... a new baby puts life into perspective...

  11. Congratulations!

    When I first became an aunt, I thought I was on top of the world. HOwever, each subsequent addition only enhanced that feeling. I love my three nieces and two nephews. I become a kid with them! Best way to to deal with them. One can spoil them rotten with absolutely no guilt!

    No book on Uncle-ing or Auntie-ing can come near it!

  12. Congratulations! I love being an aunt and would assume that being an uncle is just as cool. haha. I strive to be the fave aunt but seeing as I live half way across the country and my sister-in-law has three sisters for me to compete with I may not always win that competition. But my niece and nephew, in their young naivety, still think I'm pretty cool.

  13. congrats on the most adorable nephew bone... just wait till he grows up enough to read your archives... then you will win the coolest most favorite uncle position in a heartbeat!!!!!!!

  14. Sage - Thanks. You can always experience uncledom vicariously thru me.

    That may be the strangest sentence I have ever typed.

    Pia - Thank you. I'd never thought about it, but all my uncles are different, too. That's neat.

    And just think, now whenever I get married--boom--instant aunt.

    Xinh - Thanks. I'm just happy that I finally have a good answer to the question, "So what's new?"

    One More Believer - Thank you. It has greatly affected my perspective.

    Gautami - Thanks. And how sweet. Your love for your nieces and nephews shines thru in your words.

    Krista - Thanks. I only have one other uncle to compete with, and I don't even think he has a blog.

    Paisley - Thank you. I can just see it now. His first ever item for show and tell will be his uncle's blog :)

  15. Congrats! I LOVE being an aunt-- it's my favorite thing in the world! You're gonna LOVE it!!

  16. *stalking your responses* Don't get boggle for a first birthday. It's a choking hazard. It would be much better for a 3rd bday!
    First bday- my daughter is 15 months and loves my laptop. So spring for the laptop, preloaded with blog software. Much safter for a toddler.

  17. re: mowing during the tornado. DH was too busy watching the tornado to mow, and by the time it was had started to rain. then the grass was wet which will dull the blade. So he will try again this evening.

  18. Congrats on being an uncle AND a godfather! At least you still get a good nights rest!!! Ha!

    Lil Bootay

  19. Dude, update. Surely that nephew has done something cute...pooped, drooled, or slept??? Kidding. :)

  20. Things my uncle taught me:
    * Lick your finger, dip it in the sugar bowl, lick finger, repeat.
    * Where the candy drawer was.
    * How to install a wood floor.
    * Too many corny jokes to count.

    *Sigh, no matter how hard I try, I'll never be an uncle. Enjoy the title! Congratulations.

  21. I want one!!!! A baby, not a Bone.

    Oh and, congrats!

  22. Congratulations, my friend.
    You will have more fun than you can even imagine!

  23. Bone- you are simply adorable-
    almost as cute as the baby!
    Congrats to the whole family :)

  24. Cami - I'm gonna love being an aunt? Haha. Kidding.

    Groovie - Ummmm, what about we compromise and I get one of those play computers, or plastic cell phones?

    Renee - I didn't know wet grass dulled the blade. I know it gets caked up underneath the mower sometimes.

    Lil Bootay - Thanks, LB. Yes, yet another benefit of being an uncle.

    OK Chick - Yes, all three. And he yawned, too.

    Charlotta - Thanks. In your wonder woman regalia, I think you'd make a better aunt anyway.

    Jen - Thank you. Good luck on the baby thing.

    Blondie - Thanks! I think I will greatly enjoy this new chapter of my life.

    Mayden - Well, thank you. Finally, someone comments on me and not just the baby O:)

  25. OHHHH How sweet!!! Congratulations Uncle Bone! Nephew Bone is a cutie patootie! You will rock as an Uncle!

  26. He's either practicing his yawn for naps on those high count sheets of his uncle or he is trying to get a word in edgewise. Adorable you two are.

    I can't imagine nephew posts to be any less great than your other posts.

    Congrats on all accounts.