Cliched

Someday you'll be loved
Someday you will find the one
Who cares just for your heart
Maybe then you can start

To put the past behind
Begin to heal the pain I caused
And bring peace to your mind
Cos that's what you deserve

Someday you'll be free
Free from all the hurt I brought
You down on bended knee
Calling out to me and there were

Tears streaking your face
That's how I remember you
It haunts me every night
But it only serves me right

Someday you'll be loved
And maybe then when I know that
I'll find my peace of mind
And start to forgive myself

Crisp marketing

(Hey, be sure to stop by Courting Destiny this weekend, as we roast Pia. And don't go getting any ideas.)

I was in CVS yesterday, picking up some Mountain Dews, some halloween candy to eat before Halloween, and some chips. You know, staples.

While perusing the shelves for regular Pringles, I was unable to find any. After a few seconds, I realized the only regular Pringles they had were something called Pringles Prints.

Upon further investigation, I discovered that each individual crisp has a joke or movie trivia question printed on it. For example: What kind of flowers grow between your nose and your chin?

Give up?

Tulips!

That's just one of the many hilarious jokes you may find the next time you pop open a can of Pringles. That's right, potato crisp fans. Ruffles may have ridges. But Pringles have... jokes and trivia.

Now see, this is something I don't care for. To me, one of the big advantages to eating chips is being able to blindly stick your hand into a bag or can, pull out some chips, and hoist them in the direction of an orifice, all without looking. That way, you don't miss any of the ballgame, movie, or 90210.

I wonder what went on in that sales meeting. Are there no new flavors they could market? Although when you already have pizzalicious, probably not.

And if this was the idea they approved, what were the rejected ones? The edible Pringles can? Turkey & dressing flavored Pringles? ("Pop open a Happy Thanksgiving.") No, I got it. Snakes in a can!

Pringles has gone the way of Laffy Taffy and Bazooka Joe. Not that I'm happy about it. I want my original Pringles back. Solid red can. Freaky round potato chip face Pringle guy.

No thinking. No effort. Just pure mindless artery clogging. It's the American way.

"My ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored. Shopping online for deals on some writable media. I edit Wikipedia..."

Three Word Wednesday #5

Each week, I will post three (or more) random words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. Don't spend too much time on it. It doesn't have to be perfect. The idea is to let your mind wander and write what it will. I'll also write something using the same three words.

Be sure to leave a comment if you participate.

This week's words are:
throat
knees
tears

What's that pain in my chest? Why won't it stop? I can feel my pulse. It's right there at my heart. It's gotta be my heart. Stop. Why won't it stop?! OK. Relax. If I turn over on my back, it'll stop. It's just how I'm lying.

No. Still there. Think about something else. The football game. We won. That's good. It's not working. How can I not think about this pain in my chest? What if I'm having a heart attack? I eat fast food every meal. Maybe it's a small one. I've heard of those. Like earthquakes. You don't even realize you're having one. And then it's gone.

Why won't it stop? Pulsing. Hurting. What if it's an aneurysm? Maybe I should call someone. It's midnight. They'll think I'm crazy. But what if it is an aneurysm? And I die. And they find me in two or three days.

I should write a note. Yes, that's it. I can write a note explaining that I think I'm having an aneurysm. And I can say all the things I've always wanted to say. And then if they find me, they'll know how I felt. Mom. Dad. My sister. My friends. And if it's not an aneurysm, then I can throw it away in the morning.

No, that's stupid! Who writes a note for something like this? Who would even think of such a thing. What is wrong with me? But something is. People don't just have pains do they? Or maybe they do. Maybe this is normal. Or maybe it's not.

Maybe it's something serious. I have pains in my head all the time. What if I have a tumor? I don't want to know. What if they tell me I have two weeks to live? I'm not going to the doctor. If I don't go, nothing will happen.

I'm not ready to die. God, please. I'm not ready. I'm young. I know I haven't lived the best. But I'm not ready. For eternity. It never ends. How can that be? Forever and ever and ever and ever with no end. I can't think about that. It drives me crazy. But it's coming. There's no way out. Once you're born, you're here, somewhere, forever!

I have to get up. I scream. I walk around the room. My throat is dry. I go downstairs and get some water. It doesn't phase my parched throat. I get on my knees. God, please. I'm in tears. Please. Let me live a normal life. Just thirty more years. That's not much. That's not even average. Just to 63.

What if it's cancer? My parents never had cancer. Why should I? Why can't I live to my mid-50's with no serious problems like them? Something is wrong with me. Why do I have these little pains? I have to sleep. I have to forget this. What is wrong with me?

"Bouts of fear permeate all I see. Heightening nervousness threatens me. I am paralyzed. So afraid to die..."

Commitophobia

My name is Bone, and I have trouble committing

Not to women. I acutally do that a little too easily sometimes. I have trouble commmitting to plans made more than a few days in advance.

Little Joe called me a couple of weeks ago. He and Wolfgang are wanting to go to New York for New Year's Eve.

Being in Times Square to see the ball drop is something I've always wanted to do, at least once in my lifetime. Although now with Ryan Seacrest instead of Dick Clark, it's kinda like Family Feud with Louis Armstrong instead of Richard Dawson. It's just not the same. Although I do have high hopes for John O'Hurley.

Also, when I've envisioned visiting New York in the wintertime, gracefully gliding across the ice at Rockefeller Center with Wolfgang and Little Joe in tow was not quite the image I had in mind.

But this is what I do. I try to think of all the reasons I don't want to go. Like how their indecisiveness and incessant old-married-couple-like bickering began to wear on me by day three of the beach trip this summer. And that it's right around Christmas, and I'll be spending a lot for the holidays, so I don't need to splurge for a trip.

There's more. A friend who's going to be in town in November asked me to have dinner with her. I told her to ask me again a week in advance. Another friend invited me to a concert in November. I said no. And then there's the Def Leppard/Journey concert in Birmingham. It's three weeks away. And still I haven't made the decision to order tickets.

No matter what reasons I may give to justify saying no to something, it all comes down to the same basic issue. I have trouble committing to most plans more than a few days in advance. And I'm not quite sure why.

Maybe I think something better might come up between now and then, and I don't want to be locked into some commitment? But that would be incredibly immature. Maybe I'm just getting old. But then, I'm always up for a drive to the beach on a whim or to take off on some other spur of the moment road trip. Or maybe I'm just not a planner.

Still, it seems to be a rather recent problem. I used to go to several concerts a year. But lately, I'm much more selective. I think it has to do in part with the fact that I'm quite indecisive. So when unable to decide, I choose to decline rather than accept and wonder if I'll regret it later. Yes! That's it. Suddenly, I understand my dementia.

Exceptions to my commitophobia include, but are not necessarily limited to, football games, Festivus, and Andre Agassi's farewell match.

By the way, be sure to check out Xinh's GH recaps. Things are getting interesting. Elizabeth and Maxie are pregnant. And Laura's coming back soon. The General Hospital replay, weeknights at 9 Central, only on SoapNet.

Now that's something I can commit to. Usually.

"When you make love, do you look in the mirror? Who do you think of? Does he look like me? Do you tell lies, and say that it's forever?"

Micah's Lullaby

Baby "Micah" was well over a month premature. She doesn't have parents. She doesn't even have a name. The woman who bore her took one look at Micah's physical deformities and told the doctor that wasn't her baby. When she left the hospital, she left Micah behind. Please remember Micah and those like her. Who will fight for the children? Who will help those who cannot help themselves?

I wrote this for Micah. May she grow to laugh and sing.

Baby Micah lies alone in a hospital bed
No one to sing her lullabies or caress her tiny head
And she has no idea of the things she'll face
She got here much too early, but I hope God lets her stay

Baby Micah may never know her mom or dad
But I pray she'll have love more than anyone ever had
I wonder why some kids have it so hard
Maybe she's an angel who fell down from the stars

Breathe, angel, breathe
And you will see the morrow
I'd give all I have to keep you
From all pain and sorrow

Breathe, angel, breathe
And you will be just fine
Thank you for reminding me
Life's one breath at a time

Weekly movie reviews

The title is somewhat of a misnomer, as weekly would indicate something occuring approximately once a week. Ideally.

I rented four movies Sunday night, Dark Water, Freedomland, Capote, and Failure To Launch. Thusfar, I have watched all of them except for Capote. I plan to watch it sometime this weekend. I will now attempt to review the other three.

I hope that you find my insight helpful when deciding whether or not to part with your three dollars and fifty cents at Blockbuster. Does anybody even go to Blockbuster any more? Am I the only one without NetFlix or movies on demand?

In order to review movies, I have decided I must first have in place a ratings system. Unfortunately, I have been unable to come up with one on such short notice. So we'll just go with zero to four stars. With four stars being almost as good as Sleepless In Seattle. And zero stars being "Ohmigod it's Keanu Reeves!"

Let's begin with Dark Water, starring Jennifer Connelly and a bunch of people I don't know. I thought this was going to be a horror movie when I started watching. But it's more of a suspense-filled drama.

The main character and her daughter move into a run down, spooky housing project on Roosevelt Island in New York. And the fun ensues. While there are never any incredibly scary moments, the director does a good job of building suspense and giving an overall gray, dark, and spooky feeling, not only to the building, but to the entire movie.

But for all the good build up, the climax is a let down. There is kind of a What Lies Beneath twist. A lot of things aren't really explained. The end left me feeling a bit unsettled. Still, it kept my interest throughout. And the girl who plays the daughter was splendid. So was Connelly, in more ways than one ;-)

I give Dark Water 2.5 stars. It's worth seeing.

Next up, we have Failure To Launch, starring Matthew McConaughey and that girl from Sex And The City. A light-hearted comedy which tells the story of a 35-year-old son who has yet to move out of his parents' house.

His mother packs his lunch for work, does his laundry, etc. That's funny. I don't care where you're from. And as we get into the movie, we find out that not only does McConaughey's character still live at home, but his two friends do as well.

Now while this may sound a bit far-fetched for a movie concept, I actually know of such cases. So it rang true with me.

It was very predictable though. And the actors never fell into their roles to me. I just kept thinking, "Wow, Matthew McConaughey is dating that girl from Sex And The City." Perhaps it would have been better with lesser known actors.

Still, if you don't expect anything too deep, you won't be disappointed. The movie offers up it's share of laughs and hijinks. And there's even an unadulterated view of Terry Bradshaw's buttocks. Which I did not need to see. If you're keeping score, that's two bare hineys for me in the past two weeks. They say bad things happen in threes. Who's next? Danny DeVito? Jared from Subway?

I give Failure To Launch 1.5 stars. Half a star deducted for the Bradshaw nudity.

Finally, last night I watched Freedomland, starring Samuel L. Jackson and Julianne Moore. I would call this a mystery-slash-drama. And it's the best of the three movies I watched this week.

The story begins with a mother (Moore) reporting a carjacking and that her 4-year-old son is still in the car. She shows up at the hospital with her hands bleeding profusely.

I'm not sure where the film makers were trying to go with this movie. There seems to be too much going on to thoroughly explore it all in under two hours. There is racial and social tension throughout. Unfortunately, those are dealt with in a way that's been done a hundred times before. Nothing new or creative.

But there's a lot of good. There's the missing child aspect. And the parenting aspect, which is the part of the movie that stuck with me the most. And the acting is excellent. I was left, amazingly, feeling compassion for all the characters, when there were times during the movie I would have thought that impossible.

And even though we are led to question the mother's story throughout, the ending still surprised me. And again, left me feeling sort of unsettled.

I give Freedomland 3 stars.

Whatever happened to happy endings? Maybe Sleepless In Seattle will be on Movie & A Makeover this weekend.

"Fame, if you win it, comes and goes in a minute. Where's the real stuff in life to cling to? Love is the answer. Someone to love is the answer..."

Three Word Wednesday #4

Each week, I will post three (or more) random words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. Don't spend too much time on it. It doesn't have to be perfect. The idea is to let your mind wander and write what it will. I'll also write something using the same three words.

Be sure to leave a comment if you participate.

This week's words are:
splurge
alley
laugh

Claire sat at the table, patting her foot, sloshing the wine in her glass back and forth, growing more impatient by the second. Over the past hour, her look had gradually changed from one of icy mischief to anger. Where was he? Late again. What a shock.

She had prepared a cajun shrimp dish, his favorite. She wore her short black cocktail dress, her sexiest. Tonight, they would dine by candlelight.

After dinner, she would present him with an envelope. He would open it and see the photograph. The one she had snapped from the alley downtown, across the street from the hotel. And the look on his face would be priceless. It's called the last laugh.

Then she would stand up and walk out the door, never saying a word. Their marriage would be over. It was already over. But after tonight, they'd only communicate thru lawyers and mediators and third parties.

She was mostly over the hurt. Now it was more about anger. And revenge. And getting away from him. She was thankful they'd never had children. It would be less messy.

As she continued to wait, she thought. About being free. Starting over. She planned to take a trip. To Europe. Or the Caribbean. She would splurge. Buy herself a car. Or some jewelry. Something nice. She deserved it.

In all her thinking that evening, it never crossed her mind that he'd never make it home.

"And the lightning flashes in her eyes. And he knows that she knows. And the thunder rolls..."

Where Are They Now: Saved By The Bell

Here's a little quiz for you. Which name doesn't belong in the following series?
Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson, Dustin Diamond, Tommy Lee.

If you answered Dustin Diamond, unfortunately, you would be wrong. The correct answer would have been none of the above.

With the revelation of the Dustin Diamond/Screech Powers sex tape (Really, did you ever think you'd see those four words put together in the same sentence? Download it now for $4.99!), we are reminded yet again of the career struggles of the cast of Saved By The Bell.

Most of the cast have had issues shedding their SBTB images and being typecast. Diamond, who played the dorky Screeh Powers, and Dennis Haskins, who played Principal Richard Belding, didn't help their cases by carrying on their roles for another seven years on Saved By The Bell: The New Class.

Elizabeth Berkley, who played the super studious, sometimes pill-popping Jessie Spano on Saved By The Bell, had perhaps the most infamous role of any of the cast members. Two years after Saved went off the air, perhaps trying to shed her Saturday morning teen show image, she flashed her headlights in the movie Showgirls. Which I always get confused with Striptease. Which is quite odd considering I've never seen either movie. Hmm, suddenly I got a hankerin' for some fried eggs.

Mark-Paul Gosselaar, who played the popular, scheming Zack Morris, has had arguably the most successful career post-SBTB. He continued his role as Zack Morris on Saved By The Bell:The College Years, which aired in prime time, but lasted only eighteen episodes.

Gosselaar's most famous role after Saved was on NYPD Blue, which he was on from 2001 until the series ended in 2005. Although it's never been confirmed, rumor has it that NYPD Blue ended because Gosselaar called time-out during one episode, as he was known to do on Saved By The Bell, freezing the entire cast, but forgot to call time-in. Which would mean that somewhere Dennis Franz may be frozen in some sort of oddly contorted mannequin-type pose. Which wouldn't be an entirely bad thing.

The career of Mario Lopez, who played A.C. Slater on SBTB, could perhaps be best described by the phrase quantity does not equal quality. Lopez' roles include a guest role on the daytime soap Bold And The Beautiful, as well as hosting duties for Will You Marry Me, America's Most Talented Kid, and ESPN Hollywood. Yeah, I've scarcely heard of them myself. Although he has been the most visible of the Saved cast, one would never mistake him for an award-winning actor.

Many thought Lopez' big break had come when he played the title role in the 1997 made for TV movie Breaking The Surface: The Greg Louganis Story. But it was not to be. Thus, he is currently competing on Dancing With The Stars. He also recently bared his buttocks on an episode of Nip/Tuck. (How is it I have only ever seen one episode of Nip/Tuck, EVER, and this is the episode I see. My only thought was "Eww, that's Slater's @$$!! Make it stop!!")

Tiffani-Amber Thiessen, who played innocent cheerleader Kelly Kapowski on SBTB, was the first of the cast to land a major role post-SBTB. And probably did the best job of shedding her Saved By The Bell stereotype. She played duplicitous vixen Valerie Malone on my other favorite show, Fox's Beverly Hills 90210, from 1994-1998. However, since she has been relegated to such box office smashes as Shriek If You Know What I Did Last Friday the Thirteenth. Uh, yeah.

Lark Voorhies, who played fashion-obsessed Lisa Turtle on SBTB, has had guest roles on Deep Space Nine, as well as daytime soaps Days Of Our Lives and Bold And The Beautiful. (Evidently, there is some weird SBTB/Bold And The Beautiful pipeline.) LVoor (her hip-hop name) reportedly quit the soaps because she refused to do sex scenes. Dustin Diamond, on the other hand, obviously has no problem with those.

So we are left with nothing but memories of Bayside. Good memories, like Kelly getting a humongous zit on her nose right before Homecoming, Jessie nearly OD'ing on caffeine pills, Zack telling everyone Slater is dying and needs to move to Hawaii, the Bayside radio station and Save the Maxx telethon, and of course, Zack's ginormous cell phone. But memories, nonetheless.

And I'm left trying to get the image of Slater's smooth, well-rounded buttocks out of my mind.

In the immortal words of Jessie Spano, after Zack caught her taking pills, "I'm so... scared!"

"Riding low in my chair, she won't know that I'm there. If I can hand it in tomorrow it'll be alright..."