O Christmas Tree

"O Christmas Tree, O Christmas Tree, something, something, something, something..."



I put up my tree today, and there it is. Went and bought some wrapping paper and bows and boxes and name tags and such at the wonderful Wal-Mart. Now all that's left is the shopping.. and the wrapping. Don't you wish you could just slow time down this time of the year. It goes by much too fast.

"Of all the gifts, love is the best..."

Abort, retry, fail?

I think that pretty much sums up Saturday. Went to Nashville. Discovered that it's still there. That's good to know. Shot some pool at Buffalo Billiards (free before 6 PM on Saturdays!) I think I found my game. It's cut throat. Since there were three of us, we played several games of that. I was the cut throat king. lol Here is the dialogue I want to share with you from yesterday:

"There's one of those um, hot women, with her little boy!"
(Someone rolls the windows down. Why, I'm not sure, except that yelling from our car is the best idea we've come up with so far.)
"Wow."
"She could be waiting on her husband... Yep, there he comes. Abort! Abort!"
(Laughter ensues. Window rolls up.)
"Abort, retry, fail?"
"Abort."
"You know, the retry option on that never did work."
"That's true. Never. And I never understood the difference between abort and fail."
"Oh, there is no difference. Either way, you end up going home alone."
"Are we still talking about computers?"

"Do you need some time, on your own? Tell me, do you need some time, all alone? Everybody needs some time, on their own. Don't you know you need some time, all alone..."

A blog song...

...by Bone Sandler

Ode to the Blog
When work gets too busy and I need a rest, I blog
When I should be studying for a really big test, I blog
When I should be trying to lose some weight, I blog
When it's been two months since I've had a date, I blog

When George W. Bush wins yet again, I blog
When the dollar is worth far less than the Yen, I blog
When something happens, or nothing at all, I blog
Winter, summer, spring, and fall, I blog

When the Lifetime movie moves me to tears, I blog
When I can't find reruns of Seinfeld or Cheers, I blog
When I wake up from a dream-filled sleep, I blog
And before I pray the Lord my soul to keep, I blog

"Every Christmas day makes every other day seem long. And what seemed would never get here, has so quickly come and gone..."

Holiday traditions

This morning at work, I thought that I had forgotten to put on my deodorant. Things were getting a little sweaty. I use Mitchum, you know, "so effective you could skip a day." Well, I thought we were about to get to test out that little slogan. But, alas, something kicked in and everything was OK, so I must've had some on. Aren't you just so very glad you know that.

Chestnuts roasting?
What little things do you do each year around the holidays? Perhaps there are some that are unique to you, your family, or your region. Here are some things that I try to do every year:
- Watch "Miracle on 34th Street." It's my favorite holiday movie.
- I also try not to miss "A Charlie Brown Christmas." It's great.
- Go see the lights at the Opryland Hotel in Nashville. This usually ends up happening like every other year.
- Go to the mall on Christmas Eve. Even if I'm done shopping, I just like to be out on December 24th, just for the feeling and excitement in the air.
- I try to wrap at least one gift in aluminum foil. I'm not sure why.
- Danish Butter Cookies. Mmmm. And pecans. And candy canes. And chocolate covered cherries.
- I try to take at least one night and just drive around and look at lights around here.

I am going to try and put my tree up at some point this weekend. I usually have it up by now, but haven't really had much time. I think I'm going to Nashville tomorrow, so it'll probably be Sunday. But no tinsel. I find it distracting ;-) As the holidays draw nearer, we'll also be discussing the history and traditions of "A Festivus for the rest of us."

Scenes from a convenience store
Yesterday at the store, there was a very attractive blonde in front of me. The lady who runs the store asked her how she was and she was like, "I'm OK." The owner was like, "Just OK?" And she said, "Yeah. I'm still married to the same man, and he's still the same way." Well, as you can probably imagine, that made me want to go get my .45 and pretend it was a water gun and that I was very thirsty. What is the deal? Seems like there a lot of unhappily married people. I did read today where 23% of women ages 30-34 have never been married. I'm not sure how that helps me, but it can't be bad, can it?

Busy Benny
Things have been hectic... Jack called last night and said I could come by and get the money for the tickets. So I stopped by there. They are putting their house up for sale. Then Kyle called and was at Logan's, so I decided to drive up there. Bizarro Shane came in while we were there, carrying a case. I was like, "There's Shane with his laptop." That never gets old... to me anyway. When we paid, our server was like "I've been waiting forever for you to pay with a card so I'd know your name!" You can imagine how silly I felt when I realized I had never introduced myself. That's so unlike me... or typical of me. Whichever.

Stopped by to see my sister on the way home. I also got to see my dog, Sam. He had stayed at my parents when I moved out years ago, since I can't have pets here. But this past weekend, my sister and her husband moved him out to their house.

Random thought from last night: If a guy tells a girl who doesn't know him very well that he doesn't drink, it comes off sounding like such a line, even if it isn't.

Enjoy your weekend!

"Like when I open my eyes, when I lay down at night. Every moment, ever since the day you said goodbye. But you'll never know, cos I keep it inside. How am I doin' without you? Of course, I'm all right..."

Your friend's roomate, Monica...

One of my friends, who shall remain unnamed (she lives in Virginia and her name rhymes with "money"), has a roomate named Monica, whom I've never met. We were discussing last night the possibility that her roomate is the infamous Monica Lewinsky. From that, this was born.

Signs Your Roomate May Be Monica Lewinsky
- Has has an overweight, somewhat masculine friend, named Linda.
- Watches C-Span and curses loudly anytime a certain Senator from New York is shown.
- When you mention you're thinking of visiting the White House, she says, "Don't bother. What do you need to know?"
- Frequently accuses you of tape recording her conversations
- Once in the pool, you noticed a "Slick Willie" tatoo on her buttocks.
- Owns an unusually high number of berets.
- All the time asking you for hints on getting pesky stains out of her laundry.

"I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying. He said, someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying..."

Top 100 TV Characters

Bravo recently completed its countdown of the 100 Greatest TV Characters ever. Archie Bunker ("All In The Family") was named the greatest television character ever, followed by Ralph Cramden ("Honeymooners"), Lucy Ricardo ("I Love Lucy"), Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli ("Happy Days"), and Homer Simpson. The Seinfeld Cast was grouped together as one and ranked 6th by the network.

Eric Cartman finished a disappointing 19th. "Respect my authoritah!!!"

Here's the complete list. They will rerun the countdown on December 30th.

"What a rotten day this turned out to be. I still can't believe she'd leave so easily..."

Words and Digits

The Magic Number (Guys Versus Girls)
Have you ever noticed how easy it is for a girl to get a guy's phone number? Today, some unnamed girl (well, she has a name, but I won't reveal it here) asked if I had a cell phone. I said that I did. Then she asked if she could have my number. I was like, "Sure." And she was like, "So it's that easy, huh?" That started me thinking, when things are reversed, I don't think it's usually quite that easy. That brings to mind this infamous quote: "We should practice getting girls' numbers by getting guys' numbers."

The Tiny Day-to-Day Accomplishments Of An Humble Blogger
Big thanks to Shane for his help on working out some code to expand/collapse text. I don't know a whole lot about html. Almost everything I know I have learned from blogging. I was very excited when I got that working. How sad is that?

Nice Jicamas
Have you heard of Rachel Ray? Well, she's more than just a pretty face with a nice figure and sexy voice. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. I got to watching her "30 Minute Meals" program yesterday on the Food Network. Very interesting and entertaining. Check it out sometime. Although I can see me doing the exact same thing in my kitchen and it taking at least twice as long. There would also be a big mess.

The other problem I have is some of her ingredients. She was making her Heck of a Jicama Salad yesterday, and I was thinking, who has a couple of jicamas just lying in the fridge. I'm lucky if my grocery store has cucumbers. I can imagine the look on the manager's face if I asked if he had any jicamas :-) Actually, I may just try that.

Breaking news fast last
Blog is 2004 Word Of The Year

Yes, but check out #10... "Online visitors to the Merriam-Webster Collegiate site were asked to nominate their favorite word, and "defenestration" won. The act of throwing someone or something out of a window was also the 10th most looked-up word online."

Defenestration!!! As Tammy would say, that's my word!

Oral Communications Translated Into Text
"His blog is so boring. It's like the tryptophan of blogs."

"You don't like it, do you?"
"Well, I mean, they can be gay if they want to. At least they don't shove it in your face."
"No, I mean the hot chocolate."
"Oh, it's OK."

"You get what you receive."
"I think it's you get what you give, or something."

"I could walk, but I'll just drive. It's colder than it looks outside. It's like a dream you try to remember but it's gone..."

Dear Abby, have you lost it?!

I was reading this article in Dear Abby the other day. (No, I don't read Dear Abby everyday... really.) I found her response a bit disturbing. What do you think?

DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old daughter went to a party at a frat house where she was given a great deal to drink. Feeling "woozy," she went outside. One of the "boys" she had been talking to went with her and suggested she go back to his room to lie down. She had known this fellow before that night and trusted him. She was drunk, and he had sex with her. It was her first time. She claims she tried to make him stop, but he wouldn't, and she couldn't make him. Shouldn't the young man be punished in some way? I feel something should be done, and I also worry about him doing this to some other girl. Would this constitute date rape? -- CONFUSED IN VIRGINIA

DEAR CONFUSED: You're darn right it was date rape. And the "something" you should do is call the nearest rape crisis center and get help for your daughter. You should also inform the police. I'm sure they'll be interested to know that minors are being given alcohol and taken advantage of at that fraternity house, as well as the name of the man who assaulted your daughter. You're absolutely correct that he's likely to do it again."

What in the crap? What about the mother who let her daughter go to the frat party in the first place. Maybe I was just raised differently than a lot of people. Maybe I was sheltered, but I don't really think a 16 year old girl should be going to a frat party. When I was in school, 16 was like the minimum age most parents would even let their daughter go out on a date. Solve the following equation and you'll see why this is unwise:

16 year old girl + frat guys + alcohol = ???

What do you think is going to happen? It's a frat party. There's a better
chance of alcohol being present than there is of George Bush mispronouncing
a word during any given speech. Those are pretty good odds.

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