One of my friends, who shall remain unnamed (she lives in Virginia and her name rhymes with "money"), has a roomate named Monica, whom I've never met. We were discussing last night the possibility that her roomate is the infamous Monica Lewinsky. From that, this was born.
Signs Your Roomate May Be Monica Lewinsky
- Has has an overweight, somewhat masculine friend, named Linda.
- Watches C-Span and curses loudly anytime a certain Senator from New York is shown.
- When you mention you're thinking of visiting the White House, she says, "Don't bother. What do you need to know?"
- Frequently accuses you of tape recording her conversations
- Once in the pool, you noticed a "Slick Willie" tatoo on her buttocks.
- Owns an unusually high number of berets.
- All the time asking you for hints on getting pesky stains out of her laundry.
"I loved deeper and I spoke sweeter, and I gave forgiveness I'd been denying. He said, someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dying..."
Thursday, December 02, 2004
Top 100 TV Characters
Bravo recently completed its countdown of the 100 Greatest TV Characters ever. Archie Bunker ("All In The Family") was named the greatest television character ever, followed by Ralph Cramden ("Honeymooners"), Lucy Ricardo ("I Love Lucy"), Arthur 'Fonzie' Fonzarelli ("Happy Days"), and Homer Simpson. The Seinfeld Cast was grouped together as one and ranked 6th by the network.
Eric Cartman finished a disappointing 19th. "Respect my authoritah!!!"
Here's the complete list. They will rerun the countdown on December 30th.
"What a rotten day this turned out to be. I still can't believe she'd leave so easily..."
Eric Cartman finished a disappointing 19th. "Respect my authoritah!!!"
Here's the complete list. They will rerun the countdown on December 30th.
"What a rotten day this turned out to be. I still can't believe she'd leave so easily..."
Wednesday, December 01, 2004
Words and Digits
The Magic Number (Guys Versus Girls)
Have you ever noticed how easy it is for a girl to get a guy's phone number? Today, some unnamed girl (well, she has a name, but I won't reveal it here) asked if I had a cell phone. I said that I did. Then she asked if she could have my number. I was like, "Sure." And she was like, "So it's that easy, huh?" That started me thinking, when things are reversed, I don't think it's usually quite that easy. That brings to mind this infamous quote: "We should practice getting girls' numbers by getting guys' numbers."
The Tiny Day-to-Day Accomplishments Of An Humble Blogger
Big thanks to Shane for his help on working out some code to expand/collapse text. I don't know a whole lot about html. Almost everything I know I have learned from blogging. I was very excited when I got that working. How sad is that?
Nice Jicamas
Have you heard of Rachel Ray? Well, she's more than just a pretty face with a nice figure and sexy voice. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. I got to watching her "30 Minute Meals" program yesterday on the Food Network. Very interesting and entertaining. Check it out sometime. Although I can see me doing the exact same thing in my kitchen and it taking at least twice as long. There would also be a big mess.
The other problem I have is some of her ingredients. She was making her Heck of a Jicama Salad yesterday, and I was thinking, who has a couple of jicamas just lying in the fridge. I'm lucky if my grocery store has cucumbers. I can imagine the look on the manager's face if I asked if he had any jicamas :-) Actually, I may just try that.
Breaking newsfast last
Blog is 2004 Word Of The Year
Yes, but check out #10... "Online visitors to the Merriam-Webster Collegiate site were asked to nominate their favorite word, and "defenestration" won. The act of throwing someone or something out of a window was also the 10th most looked-up word online."
Defenestration!!! As Tammy would say, that's my word!
Oral Communications Translated Into Text
"His blog is so boring. It's like the tryptophan of blogs."
"You don't like it, do you?"
"Well, I mean, they can be gay if they want to. At least they don't shove it in your face."
"No, I mean the hot chocolate."
"Oh, it's OK."
"You get what you receive."
"I think it's you get what you give, or something."
"I could walk, but I'll just drive. It's colder than it looks outside. It's like a dream you try to remember but it's gone..."
Have you ever noticed how easy it is for a girl to get a guy's phone number? Today, some unnamed girl (well, she has a name, but I won't reveal it here) asked if I had a cell phone. I said that I did. Then she asked if she could have my number. I was like, "Sure." And she was like, "So it's that easy, huh?" That started me thinking, when things are reversed, I don't think it's usually quite that easy. That brings to mind this infamous quote: "We should practice getting girls' numbers by getting guys' numbers."
The Tiny Day-to-Day Accomplishments Of An Humble Blogger
Big thanks to Shane for his help on working out some code to expand/collapse text. I don't know a whole lot about html. Almost everything I know I have learned from blogging. I was very excited when I got that working. How sad is that?
Nice Jicamas
Have you heard of Rachel Ray? Well, she's more than just a pretty face with a nice figure and sexy voice. Where was I going with this? Oh yeah. I got to watching her "30 Minute Meals" program yesterday on the Food Network. Very interesting and entertaining. Check it out sometime. Although I can see me doing the exact same thing in my kitchen and it taking at least twice as long. There would also be a big mess.
The other problem I have is some of her ingredients. She was making her Heck of a Jicama Salad yesterday, and I was thinking, who has a couple of jicamas just lying in the fridge. I'm lucky if my grocery store has cucumbers. I can imagine the look on the manager's face if I asked if he had any jicamas :-) Actually, I may just try that.
Breaking news
Blog is 2004 Word Of The Year
Yes, but check out #10... "Online visitors to the Merriam-Webster Collegiate site were asked to nominate their favorite word, and "defenestration" won. The act of throwing someone or something out of a window was also the 10th most looked-up word online."
Defenestration!!! As Tammy would say, that's my word!
Oral Communications Translated Into Text
"His blog is so boring. It's like the tryptophan of blogs."
"You don't like it, do you?"
"Well, I mean, they can be gay if they want to. At least they don't shove it in your face."
"No, I mean the hot chocolate."
"Oh, it's OK."
"You get what you receive."
"I think it's you get what you give, or something."
"I could walk, but I'll just drive. It's colder than it looks outside. It's like a dream you try to remember but it's gone..."
Dear Abby, have you lost it?!
I was reading this article in Dear Abby the other day. (No, I don't read Dear Abby everyday... really.) I found her response a bit disturbing. What do you think?
DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old daughter went to a party at a frat house where she was given a great deal to drink. Feeling "woozy," she went outside. One of the "boys" she had been talking to went with her and suggested she go back to his room to lie down. She had known this fellow before that night and trusted him. She was drunk, and he had sex with her. It was her first time. She claims she tried to make him stop, but he wouldn't, and she couldn't make him. Shouldn't the young man be punished in some way? I feel something should be done, and I also worry about him doing this to some other girl. Would this constitute date rape? -- CONFUSED IN VIRGINIA
DEAR CONFUSED: You're darn right it was date rape. And the "something" you should do is call the nearest rape crisis center and get help for your daughter. You should also inform the police. I'm sure they'll be interested to know that minors are being given alcohol and taken advantage of at that fraternity house, as well as the name of the man who assaulted your daughter. You're absolutely correct that he's likely to do it again."
What in the crap? What about the mother who let her daughter go to the frat party in the first place. Maybe I was just raised differently than a lot of people. Maybe I was sheltered, but I don't really think a 16 year old girl should be going to a frat party. When I was in school, 16 was like the minimum age most parents would even let their daughter go out on a date. Solve the following equation and you'll see why this is unwise:
16 year old girl + frat guys + alcohol = ???
What do you think is going to happen? It's a frat party. There's a better
chance of alcohol being present than there is of George Bush mispronouncing
a word during any given speech. Those are pretty good odds.
[+/-]read more/done
DEAR ABBY: My 16-year-old daughter went to a party at a frat house where she was given a great deal to drink. Feeling "woozy," she went outside. One of the "boys" she had been talking to went with her and suggested she go back to his room to lie down. She had known this fellow before that night and trusted him. She was drunk, and he had sex with her. It was her first time. She claims she tried to make him stop, but he wouldn't, and she couldn't make him. Shouldn't the young man be punished in some way? I feel something should be done, and I also worry about him doing this to some other girl. Would this constitute date rape? -- CONFUSED IN VIRGINIA
DEAR CONFUSED: You're darn right it was date rape. And the "something" you should do is call the nearest rape crisis center and get help for your daughter. You should also inform the police. I'm sure they'll be interested to know that minors are being given alcohol and taken advantage of at that fraternity house, as well as the name of the man who assaulted your daughter. You're absolutely correct that he's likely to do it again."
What in the crap? What about the mother who let her daughter go to the frat party in the first place. Maybe I was just raised differently than a lot of people. Maybe I was sheltered, but I don't really think a 16 year old girl should be going to a frat party. When I was in school, 16 was like the minimum age most parents would even let their daughter go out on a date. Solve the following equation and you'll see why this is unwise:
16 year old girl + frat guys + alcohol = ???
What do you think is going to happen? It's a frat party. There's a better
chance of alcohol being present than there is of George Bush mispronouncing
a word during any given speech. Those are pretty good odds.
[+/-]read more/done
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
The Office Christmas Party
The secret of life is a quality blog entry. As you can see, I'm still searching...
Office Xmas Party
Well, the memo came around today. Our office Christmas party is going to be Tuesday, Decemeber 21st. It's going to be in Decatur this year, so that's new. If you would like to accompany me, please send an email, including a photo of yourself (if I don't know what you look like), and at least two references who can verify that it is indeed you in the photo. Winner will be selected on a first come, first (attractive) served basis.
Seriously, I have noticed several blogs discussing this topic recently. The office holiday party. I will most likely go to mine... more than likely by myself. It's not a huge deal to me. Are you going to yours? Is your going dependent on whether or not you have a date?
The Oprah recap
I watched the Seinfeld cast on Oprah yesterday. It was OK. My only complaint was it was 75% Jerry Seinfeld and 25% the show. They brought out Jerry first, then talked to his wife a bit. Jason Alexander didn't come out until like 25 minutes in, and Michael Richards didn't come out until like 40 minutes into the show. But, I'll take what I can get. It's not like I'm not going to watch. Besides, it was good just to see the big four together one more time.
I think as a rule, it is just difficult, painful even, for a guy to watch Oprah. I don't know what it is, but there's some undefinable quality about that show that just makes me want to change the channel. That was the first time I've watched Oprah in a long, long time. Well, that is, if you don't count last week when Barry Manilow was on there. What?! So I enjoy hearing him sing "Mandy." Is that so wrong? It's a good song.
The rest of the day, I did a little laundry. Ran to Jack's to get some dinnah. I saw Tammy S. there. I have not seen her since probably 1998 or something. It was definitely in the pre-Atlanta era anyway. I think I may have to write an entry soon about the whole '99 Atlanta trip.
"Well you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away, oh Mandy. Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking, and I need you today, oh Mandy..."
Office Xmas Party
Well, the memo came around today. Our office Christmas party is going to be Tuesday, Decemeber 21st. It's going to be in Decatur this year, so that's new. If you would like to accompany me, please send an email, including a photo of yourself (if I don't know what you look like), and at least two references who can verify that it is indeed you in the photo. Winner will be selected on a first come, first (attractive) served basis.
Seriously, I have noticed several blogs discussing this topic recently. The office holiday party. I will most likely go to mine... more than likely by myself. It's not a huge deal to me. Are you going to yours? Is your going dependent on whether or not you have a date?
The Oprah recap
I watched the Seinfeld cast on Oprah yesterday. It was OK. My only complaint was it was 75% Jerry Seinfeld and 25% the show. They brought out Jerry first, then talked to his wife a bit. Jason Alexander didn't come out until like 25 minutes in, and Michael Richards didn't come out until like 40 minutes into the show. But, I'll take what I can get. It's not like I'm not going to watch. Besides, it was good just to see the big four together one more time.
I think as a rule, it is just difficult, painful even, for a guy to watch Oprah. I don't know what it is, but there's some undefinable quality about that show that just makes me want to change the channel. That was the first time I've watched Oprah in a long, long time. Well, that is, if you don't count last week when Barry Manilow was on there. What?! So I enjoy hearing him sing "Mandy." Is that so wrong? It's a good song.
The rest of the day, I did a little laundry. Ran to Jack's to get some dinnah. I saw Tammy S. there. I have not seen her since probably 1998 or something. It was definitely in the pre-Atlanta era anyway. I think I may have to write an entry soon about the whole '99 Atlanta trip.
"Well you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away, oh Mandy. Well you kissed me and stopped me from shaking, and I need you today, oh Mandy..."
Monday, November 29, 2004
Matchbox Empty?
(excerpt from interview with MB20 guitarist Kyle Cook)
"Everybody in Matchbox was wanting to move on. I shouldn't say move on because Matchbox wants to make another record. We're going to make a 4th record."
Complete Interview
Has the final match been struck? I hope not. Matchbox Twenty became my favorite band not long after I first saw the video for "Push" back in 1997, and has been since. Looks like they are definitely on a break. Plans are to come back for another record at some point, but who knows?
"And we always say, it would be good to go away someday. Yeah, but if there's nothing there to make things change, if it's the same to you, I'll just hang, the same to you, I'll always hang..."
"Everybody in Matchbox was wanting to move on. I shouldn't say move on because Matchbox wants to make another record. We're going to make a 4th record."
Complete Interview
Has the final match been struck? I hope not. Matchbox Twenty became my favorite band not long after I first saw the video for "Push" back in 1997, and has been since. Looks like they are definitely on a break. Plans are to come back for another record at some point, but who knows?
"And we always say, it would be good to go away someday. Yeah, but if there's nothing there to make things change, if it's the same to you, I'll just hang, the same to you, I'll always hang..."
Seinfeld DVD "Hidden" Extras
Here are 3 of the hidden things (so-called easter eggs) on the Seinfeld DVD set that I have found/been told about so far. They're all from the Seasons 1&2 set.
1. An early camera test - On Disk 1, from the main menu, select "extras". Then press up twice to highlight the jalopeño and select it. This is just a camera test with Jerry walking around the apartment so that they can adjust the lighting and colors and such.
2. "The Bet" - On Disk 3, from the main menu, select "extras", then select "inside looks". Hit left once to highlight the fortune cookie and then select it. This is the story of the never-aired episode "The Bet." It dealt with Elaine getting a gun and they scrapped it fairly early in the filming.
3. Split-screen - On Disk 4, from the main menu, select "setup", then scroll down to episodes and hit up to highlight the green pea. Select it. This takes you to a split-screen demonstration comparing the original scenes to the digitally remastered DVD version.
Enjoy.
"Dear Joan, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for the screamin' last night and the nights before. I've wanted more from this, than anything I've ever known..."
1. An early camera test - On Disk 1, from the main menu, select "extras". Then press up twice to highlight the jalopeño and select it. This is just a camera test with Jerry walking around the apartment so that they can adjust the lighting and colors and such.
2. "The Bet" - On Disk 3, from the main menu, select "extras", then select "inside looks". Hit left once to highlight the fortune cookie and then select it. This is the story of the never-aired episode "The Bet." It dealt with Elaine getting a gun and they scrapped it fairly early in the filming.
3. Split-screen - On Disk 4, from the main menu, select "setup", then scroll down to episodes and hit up to highlight the green pea. Select it. This takes you to a split-screen demonstration comparing the original scenes to the digitally remastered DVD version.
Enjoy.
"Dear Joan, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for the screamin' last night and the nights before. I've wanted more from this, than anything I've ever known..."
Long Time, No Blog
I believe the classic song from KC & The Sunshine Band would sum up this weekend best: Shoot a little pool, eat a little food, get down tonight, get down tonight.
Friday
Shot pool at The Brick with Kyle, then met up with Bunny at Logan's for dinner. Introduced Bunny to Bizarro Shane. I tell you what, it was really good catching up with friends who were home for the holidays and stuff. It reminded me of how things used to be, before every single person I knew moved to another state. After dinner, we decided to head back to hear Bishop Black for a minute. It was more packed than one of Dick Cheney's arteries in there, so we only stayed probably twenty minutes or so. I think I got home around 12:30, but I'm not real sure. You know how it is. I'm not even sure what that means.
Saturday
Did a little shopping. The girl at Old Navy was like, "Do you need any gift receipts?" I was like, "Uh, nope. It's all mine." lol That made me feel kinda bad. I was like, "OK, I'm not buying anything else for myself until after Christmas." Then at dinner, I nearly made a big mistake asking Heather if she knew Shanna. She was like, "How do you know where I'm from?" Uhhhh. I made a nice recovery though and then we quickly aborted the mission, withdrew our troops, and retreated. That's stalker-iffic! After that, headed over to the Jazz Factory to shoot pool again. Ended up getting a discount again because I had to wait like 20 minutes to pay, so they only charged us for half an hour, even though we were probably there for an hour and a half or more.
Oh yeah, never get this song stuck in your head:
"My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party ahhhll the tiiiime..."
Because it will stay there ALL night long. (And yes, it was Eddie Murphy.)
TV ALERT!
The Seinfeld cast reunites on today's Oprah! Don't miss it! Not that you need another reason to watch Oprah. What
On a related note, it's only 24 days until Festivus. Start dusting off the aluminum pole.
Quoted Dysfunction
K: "She didn't answer. No one picked up."
J: "Hmm. They must have Caller ID then."
B: "You're the George Costanza of our group."
K: "Uh, no I'm not. Every group has someone they all make fun of, like us with Elaine."
"How did you know that?"
"Uh, have you ever heard of a website called Google?"
"If my heart had wings, I would fly to you and lie beside you as you dream. If my heart had wings..."
Friday
Shot pool at The Brick with Kyle, then met up with Bunny at Logan's for dinner. Introduced Bunny to Bizarro Shane. I tell you what, it was really good catching up with friends who were home for the holidays and stuff. It reminded me of how things used to be, before every single person I knew moved to another state. After dinner, we decided to head back to hear Bishop Black for a minute. It was more packed than one of Dick Cheney's arteries in there, so we only stayed probably twenty minutes or so. I think I got home around 12:30, but I'm not real sure. You know how it is. I'm not even sure what that means.
Saturday
Did a little shopping. The girl at Old Navy was like, "Do you need any gift receipts?" I was like, "Uh, nope. It's all mine." lol That made me feel kinda bad. I was like, "OK, I'm not buying anything else for myself until after Christmas." Then at dinner, I nearly made a big mistake asking Heather if she knew Shanna. She was like, "How do you know where I'm from?" Uhhhh. I made a nice recovery though and then we quickly aborted the mission, withdrew our troops, and retreated. That's stalker-iffic! After that, headed over to the Jazz Factory to shoot pool again. Ended up getting a discount again because I had to wait like 20 minutes to pay, so they only charged us for half an hour, even though we were probably there for an hour and a half or more.
Oh yeah, never get this song stuck in your head:
"My girl wants to party all the time, party all the time, party ahhhll the tiiiime..."
Because it will stay there ALL night long. (And yes, it was Eddie Murphy.)
TV ALERT!
The Seinfeld cast reunites on today's Oprah! Don't miss it! Not that you need another reason to watch Oprah. What
On a related note, it's only 24 days until Festivus. Start dusting off the aluminum pole.
Quoted Dysfunction
K: "She didn't answer. No one picked up."
J: "Hmm. They must have Caller ID then."
B: "You're the George Costanza of our group."
K: "Uh, no I'm not. Every group has someone they all make fun of, like us with Elaine."
"How did you know that?"
"Uh, have you ever heard of a website called Google?"
"If my heart had wings, I would fly to you and lie beside you as you dream. If my heart had wings..."
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