I got ninety-nine blog ideas, but Groundhog Day ain't one

(That title made a lot more sense yesterday.  Trust me.)

Some people do a New Year's post on the last day of the year.  Some wait until the first day of the new year.  But I, I have taken the road less traveled by -- and by less traveled by, I mean probably not traveled by at all.  For I have chosen this early February spring day for my obligatory New Year's post.

I rang in the new year at Axl's.  The night was replete with old school Nelly, multiple complaints from the neighbor, and chopping wood.  The latter is not a euphemism.  Oh, how I wish it were.

Axl had recently reconnected with a high school classmate of ours, and she was on hand for the chopping of the wood, er... party.  At some point, Axl disappeared upstairs, returning a few minutes later with several of his high school yearbooks -- En Retrospect, they were always titled.  I believe it's Latin, meaning "to commiserate over wasted years."  And so the three of us spent entirely too much time doing just that.

At first it was interesting, as we discussed what we remembered about each other.  "I remember Bone always used to sit in the back of the class.  And you were always drawing or writing something."  That was news to me, as I didn't realize I was writing, even then.  And after all, surely there is some value to knowing how others view you.

But then it got to be a bit much.  "Even though H won Most Likely To Succeed, I voted for you."  "I still think you're the most likely to succeed, Bone."

See, I don't need to hear that.  What good does that do me?  For me, New Year's isn't about remembering and learning from past mistakes or thinking about the ways you can do better, it's all about forgetting.  Actually, that's not just New Year's, that's kinda how I view every day: I don't want to think too much about the past, and I sure don't want to ponder the future.

Beyond that, it was a bit of a backwards year for me.  The Januarys arrived in November.  And December was just a lot of days.  I had six weeks of the blahs.  For the first time in my life, I found myself dreading Christmas.  And usually, I'm Mister Christmas.  No, really, I actually had someone say to me, "What's wrong with you?  You're usually Mister Christmas."  Although I'm not sure how official any of these titles really are.

Nothing very devastating happened.  I was just going through some things, stuff was weighing on my mind, and that definitely contributed to a lack of blogging.  But then January was nothing like itself.  There was another Bama national championship to celebrate, and re-watch multiple times.  I saw Gordon Lightfoot in concert.  And the weather has felt more like April. 

So a most belated Happy New Year to you.  And there's reason to believe, maybe this year...



"I guess the winter makes you laugh a little slower, makes you talk a little lower, about the things you could not show her..."

The day the blog stood still

We were at a double-A baseball game. It was around the second or third inning. Day had all but surrendered to night's gradual but certain takeover. Wolfgang, Little Joe, and Little Joe's girlfriend were talking amongst themselves. Meanwhile, I was halfway through an order of nachos, and had been amusing myself by listening to the girl behind us asking her poor husband/boyfriend/brother things like "What quarter is it?" and "How come they got two?"

If I recall correctly, I had just finished barking along to the last few bars of "Who Let The Dogs Out" when Wolfgang turned to me and said, "Why didn't you tell me my name was Wolfgang?"

And there it was, that always unexpected and often awkward clashing of the blogosphere and the real world.

As you might imagine, I have been questioning everything the past few days, including my very existence (in the blogosphere). Is this the end of the Darryls as you know them? What a blow that would be not only to my blog but to Newhart references in general.

Speaking of concerts in the greater-Nashville area, I am supposed to go see Counting Crows tonight. I say "supposed to" because there has been one issue after another regarding the tickets. First, they were going to be mailed, then they were going to be emailed, and now they are supposed to be at will call.

I figure best-case, I get to see Adam Duritz belting out "A Long December." Worst-case, they don't let me in to the Ryman and I have something in common with Hank Williams. Then we go on a self-guided tour of the former Opryland location--which just happens to be my favorite tourist destination in all of Nashville--and I get to see a few Perseids while driving home. So, win-win.

While I am or am not at the Counting Crows concert tonight pondering the future of my very blog, which has become as much a part of me as any of my bodily appendages, I offer a repost. Originally posted in 2005, it goes along quite well with the subject du jour.

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OPRYLAND HISTORICAL TOURS

Announcing the all-new Opryland Historical Tours, by Bone. Come and relive the magic of Opryland USA. Tours are held Monday-Saturday, beginning at 9:00 AM, at the original location of the Grizzly River Rampage at the Opry Mills complex.

Each tour guide is arrayed in an original Opryland park employee outfit, and will share with you interesting stories, personal memories, and historical facts about the theme park. Each tour includes a a thirty minute video about Opryland USA, including footage shot by visitors to the park during its twenty-six years in operation.

After the video, you'll be able to walk thru the river bed of what once was the Grizzly River Rampage, where you will have plenty of photo opportunities. You can also take pictures next to the "Opry Mills Sucks" and "Gaylord Stole My Childhood" signs.

And browse thru tons several items of Opryland memorabilia, including an original Tin Lizzie, a log from the Flume Zoom, a skee ball, a half-eaten slice of pizza from Julio's, and some chicken wire from the park's famous petting zoo.

Refreshments are available, including fruit-shaped fruit drinks, just like those sold at the original Opryland USA. So if you have fond memories of Opryland, or even if you never got to go to Opryland because your baby sister always got to go where she wanted on vacation, you will not want to miss the Opryland Historical Tour.

Legal disclaimer: Opryland Historical Tours is not liable for the actions of any guests. We will not be held responsible for any legal action that may be taken against you or any member of your party by Gaylord Entertainment or any of its subsidaries, nor any physical harm or trauma that may be caused by the Opry Mills security. By taking part in this tour, you may or may not be trespassing, but most likely are.

Well, that's my dream. My entrepreneurial thought for the week. Or for the year. Whichever.

"They paved paradise and put up a parking lot, with a pink hotel, a boutique and a swingin' hot spot. Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone..."

Un-format-ted

This post is brought to you by the iTunes Store. Now with 145 selections from Howard Jones. The iTunes Store, because after all, it's just money.

Today is Post Your Top Ten Most Played iTunes Day. OK, not really, but it could be. We could make it that. It's one of our inherent rights: life, liberty, and the permission to create obscure seemingly pointless holidays. You think the person who created International Talk Like A Pirate Day cared what people thought or that no one seemed to be observing or wearing a patch over their eye? Arrrgh! I think not, ye mateys.

There was a bit of sad news musically in the world of Bone recently. The Format broke up. I know what you're saying, "Bone, who is The Format?" Well, they were a band.

So in honor of The Format, and also to mark this newly created holiday, I present Bone's Ten Most Played iTunes.

1. She Doesn't Get It - The Format (57 plays)

Looking back now, the odds were enormously long that our paths would ever cross. I was flipping channels one night and for some reason, or more likely no reason at all, stopped on Carson Daly, which I never watch. And there they were.

To say the song they sang was catchy would be like saying Steve Jobs has done OK for himself. I dare you to listen to it and not have it stuck in your head. If you've not heard of The Format, don't worry. Not a single person I ever mentioned them to had heard of them previously.

Their relative anonymity combined with their recent breakup left me feeling a bit like a line in the song: "It never caught on. I was the only one who got burned."

2. A Long December - Counting Crows (42 plays)

I was a little late to the Counting Crows party, as Mister Jones came out while I was still in my skin-tight-Wrangler-wearing-heavy-country-music phase of the early nineties. (No, there will not be pictures.) But I'm here now. I've always been lyrically inclined, and these are amazing. One of my all-time favorite songs.

And some good news: They have a new album coming out March 25th.

3. Just Like Heaven - The Cure (41 plays)

The Cure always had great melodies. Here, the lyrics rise like a mountain to meet the friendly musical clouds, resulting in a wondrous skyscape of sonic perfection. A little aside: I had the cassette single for "Love Song." And by had, I mean, have.

4. All Your Reasons - Matchbox Twenty (40 plays)

You might think that when the new album came out, I did nothing but listen to it nonstop, over and over and over. Hmm... I forgot my point.

5. Loss, Strain, and Butterflies - Tabitha's Secret (37 plays)

This song has the distinction of having the single best line I've ever heard that I have no idea the meaning of: "Did you know with the rain in your pockets you can change the weather."

I ponder it for hours sometimes. So far, I've come up with 36 possible meanings. I think it may have its origins in one of the five houses of Zen.

6. Hey Jealousy - Gin Blossoms (36 plays)

So for like ten years I thought they were saying "Hate Jealousy." So what?

7. How Far We've Come - Matchbox Twenty (36 plays)

This would be much higher if you combined the number of plays with the number of times I watched the video online when it came out. Or no higher if you multiplied the number of plays by the number of people my age at their concert, which I roughly estimate to have been one.

8. Valerie - Steve Winwood (36 plays)

"Valerie, call on me. Call on me, Valerie." Brilliant.

9. American Girls - Counting Crows (35 plays)

I once sang this song at karaoke.

No, wait. That wasn't me. Come to think of it, it wasn't even this song.

10. You Could Be Happy - Snow Patrol (34 plays)

Here's a little known fact: They are #1 on my list of Favorite Bands or Artists with "snow" in their name. Just ahead of the guy who sang "Informer."

"I am reminded why I don't do this. I fall in love far too quickly. I never want her to forget me. When you're gone, will you call? Will you write?"