I figure one of the most important decisions I will ever make is what to name my kids.
Right now, my life is all Frosted Flakes or Apple Jacks, NCIS reruns or Golf Channel, and take out the trash or see just how much more I can stack on top of the can without it falling. (FYI, my record is 2 ft. 4 inches above the rim, wall-aided.)
But someday that will, in theory, change. My decisions will begin to mean more, have more lasting consequences. And I gotta tell ya, that freaks me out a little.
I'm pretty sure they hand out manuals at the hospital that give you tips on how to raise your kids. But no one tells you how to name your kids.
Oh sure, there's the Big Book of 60,000 Baby Names, but that's got like a thousand names. Who among us can choose just one? I have enough trouble trying to decide what kind of cereal to have.
So today I am relieved to be able to say I have made this important decision. I have picked out names for my kids. And I will reveal those to you now, with the understanding that you agree to sign a non-compete agreement at the end of this post stating that you will not steal my names.
If it is a boy, they shall call his name.... Luke.
Pros: It's Biblical. It's one of the Dukes of Hazzard. Also, easy to spell if he's not very studious. And for every day of his life, I can (and will) say in a Darth Vader voice, "Luke.... I am your father."
Cons: There are no cons.
OK, I have to admit I stole that idea from Facebook. But my girl name I came up with all by myself, as I'm sure you will have no trouble believing.
If it is a girl, they shall call her name.... Adrian.
Pros: About once a week when I'm letting her out at school, I'll purposely hide her lunch or a book or something, so that she "forgets" it. Then just as she's almost to the door, in the midst of all her peers, I'll roll down the window and yell in my best Sylvester Stallone voice, "Yo, Adriaaaaaaaan!!!!! You forgot your protractor."
Talk about years and years of fun.
Cons: Again, there are no cons. For me, anyway.
I'm so thankful to have this major life decision behind me. Now all I have to do is get their mother to go along with this.
But today, that seed has been planted.
Actually, that's probably a poor choice of words.
"Some gal would giggle and I'd get red / And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head / I tell you, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue..."
Right now, my life is all Frosted Flakes or Apple Jacks, NCIS reruns or Golf Channel, and take out the trash or see just how much more I can stack on top of the can without it falling. (FYI, my record is 2 ft. 4 inches above the rim, wall-aided.)
But someday that will, in theory, change. My decisions will begin to mean more, have more lasting consequences. And I gotta tell ya, that freaks me out a little.
I'm pretty sure they hand out manuals at the hospital that give you tips on how to raise your kids. But no one tells you how to name your kids.
Oh sure, there's the Big Book of 60,000 Baby Names, but that's got like a thousand names. Who among us can choose just one? I have enough trouble trying to decide what kind of cereal to have.
So today I am relieved to be able to say I have made this important decision. I have picked out names for my kids. And I will reveal those to you now, with the understanding that you agree to sign a non-compete agreement at the end of this post stating that you will not steal my names.
If it is a boy, they shall call his name.... Luke.
Pros: It's Biblical. It's one of the Dukes of Hazzard. Also, easy to spell if he's not very studious. And for every day of his life, I can (and will) say in a Darth Vader voice, "Luke.... I am your father."
Cons: There are no cons.
OK, I have to admit I stole that idea from Facebook. But my girl name I came up with all by myself, as I'm sure you will have no trouble believing.
If it is a girl, they shall call her name.... Adrian.
Pros: About once a week when I'm letting her out at school, I'll purposely hide her lunch or a book or something, so that she "forgets" it. Then just as she's almost to the door, in the midst of all her peers, I'll roll down the window and yell in my best Sylvester Stallone voice, "Yo, Adriaaaaaaaan!!!!! You forgot your protractor."
Talk about years and years of fun.
Cons: Again, there are no cons. For me, anyway.
I'm so thankful to have this major life decision behind me. Now all I have to do is get their mother to go along with this.
But today, that seed has been planted.
Actually, that's probably a poor choice of words.
"Some gal would giggle and I'd get red / And some guy'd laugh and I'd bust his head / I tell you, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue..."
