Friday, September 14, 2012

A penthouse in Port Charles to a pineapple under the sea

News like that isn't shared lightly, but you know you have to.  I thought it better to get it over with quickly.

First, I texted LJ.  Yes, texted.  Because, well, if there was a chance either of us were going to become emotional, I didn't want it happening on the phone.  That would be the most uncomfortable moment in both of our lives.

"You see where Steve Burton is leaving GH?"

His reply was quick, pain-drenched, and expected: "Nooooooo! It's the first day of college football season and you had to go and ruin it." (Actually, he texted "football reason" instead of season, but as he only recently got his first-ever cell phone, I let it slide.)

We commiserated briefly.

Next, I texted Wolfgang.

His reply?  "Cool."

I immediately unfriended him.  Not on Facebook, in real life.  I can't surround myself with such callous, uncaring energy.

And so, as August gave way to the first tinge of fall in the air, I was already feeling the cold, cruel winds of winter.  For the day I had feared, dreaded, and hoped I'd never live to see, had arrived: Steve Burton, the actor who has played Jason Morgan on General Hospital for the great majority of my post-pubescent life, was leaving the show.

For so long, Jason has been one of my heroes, right up there with Mike Seaver, Luke Duke, and obviously, the Karate Kid.  I can't count the times I've compared myself to Jason Morgan.  He was often the voice of reason in Port Charles.  Somewhat remarkable considering he's in the mob -- er, coffee importing business.  And now?  He's leaving.

How will I cope without one of my heroes?  By bottling my feelings up inside, of course, in true Jason Morgan fashion.  Also by following Steve Burton on Twitter.  I don't know that it helps.  (Yes, it does.)

By the way, all this occurred over Labor Day weekend.  And yes, I'm just now getting around to writing about it, in true Bone fashion.  Apparently, posting five times in August left me scribically exhausted.

So I played laser tag later that weekend.  What, I was clearly disillusioned.  I've been trying to figure out how to smoothly transition between topics, but there's just no connection between Jason Morgan and laser tag.

Or is there? (Duh duh duuuuuuuuh!)

It was my first time to ever play laser tag.  And how shall I put this?  Well... I was dominating the dojo.

Did I mention I was mostly facing children?  What?  Most of them had obviously played before! 

Now I may have fudged on the rules a little.  They say "no running."  But I figured if things escalated to a physical confrontation I could take either of the three teenaged female game masters.  Or at least, outrun them.  And I did wind up shooting my own team members a few times, but thankfully that doesn't count against you.

At the end of the match, or battle, or recital, or whatever it's called, you push a little button on your electronic thingie and it tells you what your game name is so that you can find your score.

I finished 2nd!  And no, that wasn't out out of three.  There were actually thirteen of us playing, although I'm pretty sure a couple of the kids were too small to actually make their gun fire. 

My game name?


And suddenly, a new hero is born.


Well, we gotta do something, because Frisco Jones isn't walking through that door.

"All I need / Is just a little more time / To be sure what I feel / Is it all in my mind / 'Cause it seems so hard to believe..."


  1. Dominating the dojo... I'm still laughing.

    Not to take away from your experience, I just don't like lasertag as much as I do paintball. I think the pain element from being pegged by a paintball makes games much more realistic. Plus there isn't the same humiliation factor of having to ride home with a group of people when you obviously have the most paint on your clothes.

  2. Ooooh, love the title!!!

    LJ's text cracked me up! You boys :)

    So I gotta ask - are we now allowed to refer to you as Spongebob?


  3. Oh! Ed's comment about paintball - I've always wanted to do that!!!! I'm glad to hear someone say how awesome it is :)

  4. The fact that Steve Burton is moving to Tennessee is NOT helping me on this whole event.

    The ONLY thing that would soften the blow of Jason Morgan leaving would be the return of Frisco Jones.

  5. I used to be addicted to General Hospital in the Luke and Laura days. I was in college then, and there would sometimes be 25 or 30 of us in the dorm TV room watching it every afternoon. Good times...Bone, I'm so sorry for your soap opera loss. Twitter following always helps... :)

    My husband played laser tag once and did pretty much what you did...came out of there all happy that he had obliterated a bunch of 12-year old boys. lol

    Have a great weekend!

  6. Ed - I've never played paintball, but the goggles always look cool. I can see it being painful, but at least maybe you could tell where the ball was going. I could never really get a good handle on where my laser was aimed.

    TC - Um, no, there will be no referring to me as SpongeBob. Though I did spend the rest of the evening calling one girl on our team "Mister Krabs." Hilar!

    Cami - Really? It kinda helps me to know he'll only be one state away. Maybe I'll bump into him in Nashville sometime!

    I say we start a Bring Frisco Back campaign. Who's in?

    Sherri - That sounds like the best dorm ever! I worry about kids today. I mean, if there's no more Jason Morgan, what will they watch in dorms?

    You have a wonderful weekend yourself!

  7. What happens when General Hospital is brought out by Kasier or Columbia or another of the major health care mobs? Not to give you something to cause sleepless nights or anything, but you know, maybe Obama will nationalize health care and we'll be in the same fix as England (where everyone has decent health care) I should have been a soap opera script writer, eh? Enjoy tomorrow's game.

  8. If I remember correctly the kids gang up on Kramer and get him in the end.

  9. LJ got a cell? :) Cool. Sorry about Wolfgang

    Sorrier about Jason. Maybe he had no more life lessons to teach you

    I remember your Scott Baio period though Steve Burton went on much longer

    You'll always have Seinfeld & Co

  10. Dude, I'm with you on the sadness of Steve Burton leaving GH, even though I haven't watched a full ep of GH in over 2 years. He was such a fixture on that show, even when he left for 1 year to go pursue being in movies. I suggest you start digging to find out where in TN he'll be and maybe check up on him once in a while (but don't stalk; that's illegal).
    Scott Baio is scheduled to be on a sitcom (I think on Nick at Night) this fall.

  11. one door closes and a window opens.... (whatever) will your GH heartbreak ever end??
    (look off into the room at nothing- as in deep thought- as the scene ends) death by lazer tag-- well that is a new option- and spongebob- good enough for optomism. well played my friend. well played.

  12. Sage - You know, it's interesting though not all that surprising they haven't gone into some healthcare debate story lines on there. I do remember them starting a free clinic at some point and some of the doctors and nurses volunteering there.

    Renee - You do remember correctly. That's one reason I chose not to play a second game/match/round.

    Pia - Sorrier about Jason. Maybe he had no more life lessons to teach you

    I think that could be it! You are wise.

    Xinh - He had sort of become the new Luke to me, what with Luke's annual six month vacations. So are you saying you're in on the Bring Frisco Back campaign? :)

    Daily Panic - Daily Panic!!!

    (look off into the room at nothing- as in deep thought- as the scene ends)

    YES! That is sooo Jason Morgan. And now, it must be me, too.

  13. I thought I was laughing enough about Steve Burton/Jason, and then you went an tossed out a quick Mike Seaver. BAHAHAHAAHAHAHA.

    I'm old enough to still think of Jason as an upstart pup in the GH cast, tromping in and stealing Sonny's thunder.

  14. If Jack Wagner isn't on Y&R anymore (and it's possible he might not be for long; they are cutting through actors left and right), I say let's bring back Frisco. He and Anna can team up to save Port Chuck from Sonny and Maxie can be pissed off even more that her absent father doesn't have time for her.

  15. Haha, you had me going. Reminds me of that time, years ago, when Granny was still living with us...Mom walked in the door, just home from work and Granny exclaimed, "Well! Carl's dead!" Scared Mom pale until she realized Granny was talking about a soap, and she was peeved.
    (Mama, don't you EVER do that to me again!)

  16. Jocelyn - Hey, I'm just glad someone remembers Mike Seaver! Remember his sweet VW convertible?

    Xinh - Yes, Frisco and Anna. That would be perfect! And bring back Robert while you're at it. And Ned and Lois, please. Then it would be almost like I didn't need a life of my own at all.

    Actonbell - My mother vows that my mamaw used to call the TV station and tell them to please tell such-and-such character what was going on behind their back.

  17. Steve Burton is on Young and the Restless now - as a (former) Marine. I'm starting to really like him on the show. You might try it out to see if you like him enough to switch shows....not that that would EVER happen. :-)