Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Snow, patrol

I'm not sure wherefore to beginneth today. Dost I tellest thou about my latest run-in with the law (yes, I'm serious), or my real-life Christmas movie moment?

I'm guessing you want the deets on my most recent legal troubles first. So here goes. It was Friday night and we were putting up my Christmas tree. Or as they say on the streets, laying down evergreen on a vertical tip. I had TSO blasting at a moderate level of 7 on my Phillips 10-inch SFS's (street slang for Standard Factory Speakers).

Next thing I know, fuzz be ringin' my doorbell again. And by "again," I mean, "for the first time in ages". Apparently, the neighbors complained that the music was too loud and they were trying to sleep. On Friday night. At 10 PM. "I'll take care of this," I said to the popo. Then I promptly went straight over to the stereo and cut the volume down to an only-dogs-can-hear-it volume of 3.

If you're keeping score, or just entering data into my personal criminal record, that's two confrontations with police in the last three weeks -- one "following too closely" and one "disturbing the peace."

Basically, I'm the bad boy of the blogosphere. I just hope they have Wi-Fi in the hoosegow, because that's obviously where I'm headed.


Sunday afternoon, I attended the TSO concert in Nashville. It was another phenomenal show. TSO is one of those groups that, when you see them live, makes you want to become a musician. And they must have brought the weather with them from Siberia because Nashville wound up getting two to three inches of snow.

Two to three inches of snow in the South is like a foot or more anywhere else. Restaurants close early. Schools close at even the possibility of snow. And if it's snowing, then the stores have already long since run out of milk and bread. Not to mention the traffic. Cars are sliding everywhere. People are out pushing. We must have passed ten cars that had run off the road.

And all I can say is it was, in a word, gorgeous.

It's not often, if ever, that I've gotten to enjoy a white Christmas. But walking down the streets of Nashville -- with the snow-covered roof of the old Ryman towering over the bars of Lower Broadway, the stores all in their holiday trim and with Christmas music playing, and the snow falling fast and almost sideways -- for a moment it was like a scene out of virtually every Christmas movie I've ever seen. An image from any of a thousand Christmas cards.

No, it wasn't quite yet Christmas Day. But it was most definitely Christmas.

"And maybe down in Memphis, Graceland's all in lights. And in Atlanta, Georgia, there's peace on earth tonight. Christmas in Dixie. It's snowin' in the pines..."


  1. lol Bone~ you're going to be in jail by Christmas at this rate.

    at least it's snowing. i agree it's a beautiful sight. i've been wanting more and more snow each time i hear about the forecast. we have about 2 inches right now. have a great day.

  2. I think you got off lucky that your neighbor called the popo. They could have done something like what I did once upon a time.

  3. oh Bone you do live on the edge.

    what crabby neighbors to call the cops on you for playing Christmas music at GASP Christmas time!

    Time to leave them some exlax fudge as a gift.

  4. Dude if you lived in my state, I could of hooked you up, my brothers a captain for the police dept.

    Just sayin

  5. Naquillity - I know. Prepare for my future series of blog entries entitled, Today In Cell Block D...

    We had no snow on the ground when I got home. So I was very thankful I got to see some in Nashville.

    Ed - Well this is the same neighbor that I turned in to the landlord twice last year for booming music at 3 AM.

    Renee - I know, how dare I, right?

    I couldn't really think of a Seinfeld reference for this, so instead I've been asking myself, "What would Lloyd Christmas do in this situation?"

    KittyCat - Hold that thought, because I'm sure I'll be able to use the help when I'm inevitably forced to lam.

  6. Your neighbors are jerks! Do you think they're getting revenge on you for turning them in a year-or-so ago? But did you turn them into the cops? I mean, that seems a bit extreme - calling the cops for a little TSO.

    On a Friday night.

    At 10 p.m.

    Wow. Just wow. I mean, wouldn't a knock on the door at that time of night been sufficient? It's not like it's 3 a.m. or anything.

    I can't believe they didn't cancel the show! Sounds like everything else canceled!

    As a Wisconsinite, the idea of that little snow causing such a ruckus makes me want to laugh, but when I consider the South has no plows, probably inadequate tires on most vehicles, and that ridiculous rear-wheel drive... I guess it would be quite problematic!

    But to give you a point of reference: there was 15 inches of snow at home when Nashville got its little "dusting."

    Glad you got a magical Christmas evening. Everyone deserves a few.

  7. I've always wondered if policemen feel dumb dealing with the "noise" complaints when they KNOW that it's not really too loud. If I were a cop, I think I'd just lie about going to the people's house.

  8. Bone I laughed out loud, Winston actually gave me a Mom what are you doing look that dogs give.

    Enlighten me please TSO? Not sure I know him, them?!?

    Snow I think it is funny how much you want to have snow and how much as a transplanted Yankee I want every winter day to be above 60 degrees.

    Man if you get stopped by the PoPo one more time you will start having cred in my neck of the woods.

  9. You rebel, you...lol. You better behave, Bone, or you could be under house arrest by New Year's! And those ankle bracelets probably chafe a bit. :P

    Your evening in Nashville sounds magical...I had a moment like that when I was 19 and in Nuremberg, Germany at the Kris Kringle market. It was at night, it was snowing big fluffy flakes, there were church steeples, quaint cobblestone streets, booths filled with festive Christmas wares, and the smell of chestnuts in the air (literally!). I'll never forget it. Oh wow, that was 30 years ago. *old lady here* lol

    Have a great night~~

  10. TC - Well that's kinda what I figured it was. Because I play my iTunes way louder than that sometimes.

    I didn't think we had snow plows either, but I think I saw one on the way home! It was either that or a road grader. Or are those the same thing?

    Cami - I wouldn't doubt it. I thought he kinda had an is-this-the-right-house look once he heard the music.

    PennyCandy - Love it! And you said, "Yes, Winston, my blog friend Bone is headed for a life of crime" right?

    Oh, it's Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Their Christmas songs are quite popular on radio this time of year.

    Man if you get stopped by the PoPo one more time you will start having cred in my neck of the woods.

    Well that's all I've ever wanted :)

    Sweetest In The Gale - I know, not to mention I blister easily.

    Oh, that sounds perfect! I'm sure I'll never forget this one, either.

  11. 'laying down evergreen on a verticle tip'? LOVE.IT.

    Bone, please try to contain your Christmas enthusiams. It obviously is too much for the neighbors.

    On second thought, more encounters with the police mean more posts.
    Blast that TSO!

  12. So, much for fighting the law and winning.;(

    I'm happy that you are experiencing what they call "the white Christmas".

    I have developed a great dislike for your neighbors.

  13. Bone with two offenses on your record, you are soon going to be wearing that classy orange jumpsuit!

    When I lived in my apt- the popo lived upstairs and he was the one that made all the noise! When he calls me I always answer, "Is this 911??? 911, I have a complaint, ..." then I would complain about the radioactive rays coming from my cell phone or microwave...

    La LLLoyd Christmas would say from run ins with the popo, "I need a change, I think I'll move to a place called ASPINNNNN."

  14. I almost forgot- Happy Festivus! May this year be full of grieviences!

  15. Aww! I'm so jealous that you got to have such a fantastic Christmas moment on the snowy streets of Nashville. There really is nothing like snow around the holidays. We don't get it, well, ever in Sacramento, but I wish for it constantly!

    Think Honolulu will get snow next Christmas? Here's to hoping.

  16. Charlotta - As long as excessive consumption of chocolate-covered pretzels isn't a crime, I think I'll be fine. Though if I were to disappear from the blog for 3 to 6 months, look for me on a future episode of COPS.

    Cooper - Ooo, that woulda been a great song lyric to use for this post! Breakin' rocks in the hot sun...

    I've gotta YouTube that now.

    Daily Panic - Ah yes, Aspen. Where the beer flows like wine, and beautiful women instinctively flock like the salmon of Capistrano.

    Robyn - I doubt it, but if it can't snow, may as well be 80 :)

  17. Sounds like you've been working on a rap sheet instead of a novel... Oddly, we've not had that much snow this year, but the ground is covered because it hasn't been above freezing in a while. Stay warm.