Thursday, December 11, 2008

It takes effort to be this unproductive

Also known as "What I did tonight instead of Christmas shopping, writing Christmas cards, alleviating the nakedness of my Christmas tree, or anything else that might otherwise be deemed as productive."

I listened to iTunes. "Higher Love" by Steve Winwood came on. I googled it to see if it was "think about it" or "thing about it." I thought it was think, but also thought it could be thing. It turned out to be think, which is what I first thought.

While looking at the lyrics, however, I realized the chorus does not go "Great day of higher love!" Who knew?! All these many years I've been singing it wrong. Looks like somebody would have told me, instead of letting me look like an idiot.

I mean, if a woman is walking around with a little mini moustache, you don't just let it go and snicker behind her back. You say, "I think you gotta a little something on your lip there, ma'am... Oh! It's hair." Unless you're dating her, in which case you just have to pray someone else mentions it to her.

Otherwise, I practiced my skills at Yahoo pool. You know, because that's so much healthier than trying to go out and meet a girl or something.

I also watched a couple of Seinfelds, "The Rye" and "The Dog." I have a rule that I always stop if a Seinfeld is on TV, even though I have the DVDs. (Except for Seasons 8 & 9, which would be on my Amazon wish list if I had one.)

No fewer than fourteen times I looked out the window to see if it was snowing yet, because according to the weather people there was a 50 percent chance. "Up to an inch accumulation," they said. Of course, I never saw the first flurry. You'd think they would eventually luck up and get it right JUST ONE TIME. I mean, people win the Powerball. How hard could it be to close your eyes and predict snow?

Let's see, I know I must have done something else. I think the problem is I did so much, it's easy to forget some of it. Oh yes, now I remember. I heard a dog barking, so I cut off the lights and looked outside to see if there was a dangerous prowler or angry ex-girlfriend lurking. I'm basically a one-man Neighborhood Watch.

Ooo, I watched The Office! I think tonight was the best episode of the season so far. Here are a few random quotes, which may or may not mean something to you, largely depending on whether or not you watched the show:

"We are not going to support your alcoholism anymore. The next time you light yourself on fire, we are not going to help put you out."
"Ah, as fire marshal I would have to."

"Have you ever, under the influence of alcohol, questioned the teachings of the Mormon church?"

"I am not going to judge Phyllis for desecrating Christmas. There is one person who will though, and Phyllis just stuffed him into a drawer."

"Was John Belushi fine? Was Bob Hope fine?"

"Fire girl! ..... Too soon?"

OK, I must get to bed. Whoever knew there could be so much involved in doing nothing. May tomorrow be a great day of higher love for us all. Sorry, I just had to say it one last time. *sniff* I'll miss it.

"Think about it, there must be higher love. Down in the heart or hidden in the stars above. Without it, life is wasted time..."


  1. I believe you had massive rain--more than we did and we had almost 3 inches; something like over 6"

    Don't you know that on the second or third night of rain productivity is prohibited?

    That's in my rules of life

    Lucia's supposed to come tonight so I kept on checking because Spirit Air doesn't like to run in rain--read my rules too closely apparently--and NY's supposed to have a NorEaster

    I'm going to my house this morning. Keep picturing it underwater

    Loved the part in your post about mis singing Steve Windwood and then the part about the woman with the moustache and then...

  2. I've been working this week, so when I get home I do a whole lot of nuthing! Two more days of this work thing and then I'm done. Wish me luck. When I get the time, I'll blog about it.

  3. Hey! Seinfeld had a pretty good run of shows about "nothing." I kind of like nothing days and occasionally plan them.

  4. I was home sick from school yesterday (teaching, not learning)-- and sat on my couch and watched "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". TWICE. true story.

    Then I was SUPER productive. And decorated my house for Christmas. I will say that Christmas decorations make me happy. I just walk around and smile at them.

    AND. Our coach won Coach of the Year. Booyah. And Andre Smith is a BA. and the best lineman. duh.

  5. I've always found that doing nothing takes a lot of work. I was never much good at it: I had to work very hard to be unproductive.

    Thankfully, that's changed. I no longer have to work so hard at it. Lucky me, huh?

    You did important things last night: don't kid yourself. Without viewers like you, The Office wouldn't have an audience. No audience, no jobs. Ditto that for yahoo. (Though the really important question is whether or not you won: 'cuz if you didn't win, then maybe it was just wasted time. But if you won, this can be spun to be a good thing.) Those pool developers need their jobs. So good for you!

    Of course, the weathermen obviously don't need your help at all. They're good to go.

    I can say all of this as my tree is decorated, I'm done shopping, and all but a couple of gifts that were pre-ordered online that haven't arrived yet have been wrapped. But it's way more amusing since none of your stuff is done :)

  6. There is nothing, and I repeat, nothing wrong with Seinfeld and The Office.

    Yahoo singles on the other hand...

  7. Pia - Excellent point. It was raining and was supposed to snow. How could I be expected to do anything with a massive winter storm approaching.

    Renee - Oh no, don't tell me you're working at Brandt/Leland again. This job is killing you. It's killing us.

    Balou - Yeah, doing nothing is nice sometimes. I actually did fix supper and do a couple loads of laundry and take out the trash, but that wasn't as funny.

    Cami - sat on my couch and watched "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix". TWICE.

    No. You didn't. I'm just going to pretend you didn't.

    Yep, it's amazing all the recognition that comes when you win twelve games and spend half the seasona at #1. Roll Tide!

    TC - OK, first of all, no one likes those people who have all their holiday stuff done by the end of November.

    Second of all, what are you going to do for the next two weeks?

    Aha! Might I suggest Yahoo! games.

    Charlotta - Exactly. That's why I stick to Yahoo! pool. And dominoes. And... well, you get the idea.

  8. lol...every single time. Every single time I come here you cheer me up and make me smile. Thank you. :~)

  9. wow i have been gone way to long! I forgot how much I love your humor! :)

    At least you had a chance for snow....Living on the east side of Wa, none. not one snow flake! :*(

    I did get to see some as I went over the pass on Sunday and last night! :) wonderful!

    I hate when you dont know the words to a song...I remember T.C., a girl from high school and I trying to figure out the lyrics of the "Down came a blackbird" song on a long road trip...:)

  10. After reading this, I am checking again to see if I have any single friends I can set you up with. YOU GOTTA GET A GIRLFRIEND! HA!

  11. Thanks, Bone, your title made me realize why I stay as thin as I do, I thought it was a great metabolism, but you made it obvious it is just the daily effort it takes me to be so unproductive. I really do get exercise, after all.

    You wait for someone else to tell her she has something on her face? She ought to slap the heck out of you then for being such a chicken.

  12. no, I'm working for Pendant Publishing. Did they make George's wedding invitations?

    and I've seen that sign...I guess lifting the seat is better than sprinkling it. I just wish more folks would follow the wiping & flushing rules. It seems they forget how to go when in public.

  13. Fledgling Poet - You're most welcome. And your comment made me smile. So thank you for that :)

    Tagster - What?! I figured Washington got snow all the time.

    I remember that song. But that was like the only line I knew of it. What was that song even about anyway?

    Mrs. R - You're telling me.

    Marcia - OK, actually, I *may* have mentioned to a girl *one* time that there was a *hint* of some growth up top, and that she *might* want to eradicate the seedlings before they became a major problem.

    And so as you can see, I'm single.

    Renee - Eww, I know! They forget how to aim, too. It's a big problem. This is the main reason I don't dare venture into a public restroom in flip-flops.

  14. ...the daily effort to be unproductive.

    I so get that. Because I work hard at it.

    You are priceless.

  15. At least your misunderstood lyrics made sense... unlike THESE.

  16. wonderful twists in your post and a nice ending.

  17. "I mean, if a woman is walking around with a little mini moustache, you don't just let it go and snicker behind her back. You say, "I think you gotta a little something on your lip there, ma'am... Oh! It's hair." Unless you're dating her, in which case you just have to pray someone else mentions it to her."

    Okay about tinkled on myself...

    Oh... and I'm not toooo far away and I did see snow and played in about 2 inches of it! hehehehehe!

  18. The suspense is killing me... if it's not a great day of higher love, then what is it?

    Fooled as well...

  19. Gay, I'm pretty sure it's "Bring me a Pie of Love!"

  20. It's supposed to be a freezing drizzle here. We'll see how it ends up in the morning. All I know was it was damn cold today. 23 on the way to work! Brrr!

  21. I like this post. It's like my Ramblings. A whole lot of nothing. LOVE IT!

    "I practiced my skills at Yahoo pool. You know, because that's so much healthier than trying to go out and meet a girl or something."

    I have this same thought, but I watch cable instead of playing Yahoo pool. Either way, we're both social idiots.

  22. lmao...
    the good news is that there are still 7 days before Christmas! You're golden!