Wednesday, July 09, 2008

Mystery of the frozen scene

While flipping channels Friday, I came across the following scene from Seinfeld on cable channel 8:

There was no movement. No audio. It was just frozen there on my television, as you see it here. A scene where Jerry and George appear to be talking.

I looked around. Was I the only one who could see this? Was Larry David trying to send me a signal? Was my TV set even on? Was this my second bowl of Apple Jacks, or third? Maybe, just maybe, this was my "if you build it, they will come" moment that I had waited on for ten years since the series finale.

After about ten or forty-five minutes, it became apparent they weren't going to play the rest of the episode, so I changed channels. The event gradually and quietly slipped into the dark recesses of my brain. Until the next day.

I don't know if it was divine intervention or the kinship of all living things, but something told me to check channel 8 again on Saturday. So I did. And I found the exact same scene. Still there. Still frozen. Like a hidden treasure waiting for me to kiss it and turn it into a beautiful princess.

By that time, I was certain this was no random occurrence. Someone was trying to tell me something. But what? And then it hit me. If I could somehow figure out which episode the frozen scene was from, I would thereby solve the mystery of the riddle and surely know what Larry was trying to tell me.

I began to analyze the scene. It appeared fairly generic, but I noticed a couple of things. They weren't in Jerry's apartment. They appeared to be in some sort of office. Also, George was older, so I was thinking Season 8 or 9. Within about fifteen seconds, I had my guess: The Bizarro Jerry.

The only thing left to do now was to check to see if I was right. Well, that and take a picture of the TV screen for blog purposes. Since I don't yet have Seasons 8 or 9 on DVD (hint hint), I had to dig thru my library of Seinfeld VHS tapes. This task was made slightly more difficult by the fact that before I knew the names of each episode--or that the episodes even had names--I would label the tapes with my own descriptions.

For example, instead of The Fire, I wrote "Jerry heckles a heckler." Instead of The Pie, I had "A mannequin looks like Elaine." Instead of The Rye, I put "Accidentally recorded Caroline In The City." Anyway, you get my drift. I finally found the episode I was looking for and fast forwarded to the scene. Booyah! I was right!

I'm still not really sure what this all means, other than I know a really really lot about Seinfeld. It's either very exciting or very very sad. Since this is my blog, we're gonna go with exciting. Surely there must be a need somewhere for my uncommon ability, a place at Larry David Enterprises for me.

I turned back to channel 8 later in the day Saturday, and they had resumed regular programming. Of course they had. But not before and until I had solved the mystery of the frozen scene.

It's all in a day's work. My name is Bone. This is what I do.

"Now for ten years we've been on our own. And moss grows fat on a rollin' stone. But that's not how it used to be..."


  1. SOOO you don't know what Larry David was trying to tell you? What is the episode about?

  2. whoa,, just the fact that it was there so long was bizarre... makes me wonder who is catching a heap of shit about that little snafu....

    maybe the message is "freeze!!"......

  3. hope it's ok that my first reaction is to be really, really proud of you. :)

  4. okay, how weird (or bizzaro) am I? I just looked up the episode to try to find that scene. I couldnt. are George & Jerry at Kramer's office or trying to find the club?

    it's so weird how I can remember only parts of these now. I remember Kevin & his friends...but not the George & Kramer parts.

  5. OK Chick - No, I haven't decoded Larry's message yet. The episode is the one where Elaine meets a new set of friends who are the opposite of George, Kramer, and Jerry. Kramer gets roped into a meeting when he's coming out of the bathroom at this office and starts pretending to work for this firm.

    Paisley - Yes, but I'm still not completely discounting the possibility that I was the only one who could see it :)

    Cami - That's more than OK! :D And there's no need to even get into your second and third reactions.

    Renee - It's near the beginning. They go into an office building to let Kramer use the restroom because George tells him they have the best restroom in midtown. After Kramer leaves, they see a cute receptionist and Jerry tells George to try his engagement story on her. That's the scene.

  6. This is one of your best posts ever. Book submission material I do think. Instant Bone classic

    It was hysterical from start to finish

    The truly sad(?) thing is I know that this is all true

    You have been hitting the Apple Jacks too much. Didn't you get the warning? Eating more than 2 bowls will make you Seinfeld obsessed.

    Larry David won't help you unless you say the magic words and he's changed them every 3 hours since he and his wife separated

    Then again he might appreciate this post

  7. "It's all in a day's work. My name is Bone. This is what I do."
    hahaha LOVE this post Bone! Not just because I am NUTTY about seinfeld too, but because YOU are Very funny and THIS was SO entertaining and well written!
    ( The american pie lyrics were so funny, but I just don't get what they have to do with the post, but that's probably what makes them So funny!!)
    i really needed a laugh, THAnkS!

  8. Larry David is sending you a signal. Fer sure. Do you have the cable wrapped in aluminum foil? Or did you just say you have a cable and have antennas wrapped in aluminum foil?

    That would explain much

  9. My first instinct is to write "You do realize that you're quite deranged. Hilariously so, but deranged none the less."

    However, after reading and re-reading the Since this is my blog, we're gonna go with exciting. portion of your post, I've decided to just be completely supportive. :)

    No one knows Seinfeld like you, Sir Bone. I doubt there are 5 other people in the world (aside from those directly affiliated with the creation and production of the actual show) who could have done what you did. Congratulations!!! You deserve a prize. Maybe a homemade Black Forest cake (since you love cherries) or something Seinfeld-esque like poisoned envelopes to give to a girlfriend you would like to dispense of without all the messy emotional drama. :)

    Thanks for making me laugh until my sides hurt.

  10. Wow. You know, sometimes I wish I could send messages back through the tv to the producers.. Like, for example, YES, Robin Scorpio is REALLY getting on my nerves, but then again, Kate Howard has really been on my gag reflex lately too. I thought that when the writer's strike was over they were supposed to bring back good story lines.. I've actually had to turn to OLTL as an entertainment alternative. Now that's a desperate move! All the DID and who's your daddy stories are really Jerry Springer.

  11. Pia - Wow. Thanks! I think you meant what's really exciting is that this is all true.

    I think I dreamt of Larry David last night. I just remembered it as I was replying to your comment now. Seriously. I did! I hope that doesn't make him uncomfortable.

    Lucy - Thank you for that very nice comment! Yeah, I admit the American Pie lyrics were a bit out there. I picked it because it's been ten years since the final episode of Seinfeld :)

    LucyC - Actually, I was chewing on aluminum foil when I wrote this post, in a lightning storm.

    Avery - Yes, I do realize that. So no need to type it. You would have just been wasting valuable finger energy.

    I actually did email the picture of the scene to the biggest Seinfeld fan I know, other than me. He replied with three wrong guesses.

    Thank you.

    Burg - Ooo, that's what they need. Some sort of instant feedback device on the TV. It'd be like the Gong Show for the masses.

    Wow, OLTL. Are Bo and Clint still on there? And Vicky? And what about Cord and Tina? Surely they aren't still on there.

    I mean, I hardly ever watched the show.

  12. Thank goodness for ADD, anal retentive folks. Maybe if it was Sex and the City, I would have done the same.

  13. bones, im still laughing... not catchin on to seinfeld till the last season or so... i still have yet to participate in each episode... marathon watch is comin to mind... now the bit abt it was still there the next day... were you wearing one of those aluminium hats too?.. and that by searching and looking closer you recognized the scene/episode... scary... im a trekkie so i can relate truly... pssss.... thank you for posting the info abt pia and the article she wrote... and of course, congrats on yr publication...

  14. you wrote Just please tell me you didn't leave my JFK golf clubs in the car.

    What book did you check out? It's not Tropic Of Cancer, is it? Or something by John Cheever?

    No I didn't leave your JFK golf clubs in the SUV which would have made it hard to throw out into traffic anyway...much easier in your Saab convertible. ;) But I did leave my good camp chairs...apparently they weren't worth too much to the mechanics though. LOL!

    oh and No I didn't check out that book...but you should see what I did check out! Bonk I think that young George & Jerry would be very disappointed with it though.

  15. You're crazy. But that's almost precicely what I love about you. I love everything that you are, my friend, and everything that you aren't. ♥

    I am not surprised that you were able to figure out, of so many seasons, exactly which episode that was. You are the all-or-nothing type. I appreciate that.

    Couldn't tell you what the hell it all means, though...
    Let us know when you figure it out!

  16. I am a recovering Seinfeld addict. I used to be so bad (or good) that I could watch the first 2 minute clip and quote the last line before the commercial break finished. My name-that-episode freeze frame skills would never be a match to yours though.

    I'm sorry...we've already got a George.

  17. Wow. I'm impressed by your prowess in Seinfeldian history. I don't know any episode names for any shows.

  18. Bo, Clint, Vikki.. All still there.. Still miserable.. Back from the dead a few times, you know, the usual.

    Tina just returned.. The original Tina.. I didn't remember how stupid her "soap face" was. She really needs a new one.

  19. I should kidnap you and leave you in my apartment for a week. I have no less than 5 channels-(out of 13) on any given day that freeze for hours on a single scene. Maybe you can get those channels to work. And no, it's not the same channels every day. Weird.

  20. Years ago I did an internship in a VA neuropsych hospital and were surprised to discover guys sitting in the smokey common room receiving signals from the TV... The exercise program featuring three women (each working at a different intensity)seemed to send out the most messages. :)

    Bone, I hate to break this to you, but have a typo in this excellent piece--it's Applejack, not Apple Jacks. Applejack is made from distilling hard apple cider, Apple Jacks is a cereal eaten mostly by kids.

  21. sage's comment is a bit scary :)

  22. Did you see Jerry in Birmingham last weekend?

  23. Hehe i share your VHS naming experience!
    I had titles such as "backward Indian episode".