Sunday, July 13, 2008

The backwards entry

The weekend recapitulation has begun. Please remain seated and keep your eyes on the blog at all times. The ride is actually running backwards today, so we'll begin with today and end with Friday, just hitting the highlights.

(Note: All times are approximate.)

Right now: I'm looking at a plate with five grapes on it. I had a whole bunch, but one had a bad spot on it. Just leaving one didn't feel right, so I left five. A nice OCD-friendly number.

Thirty minutes ago: I went downstairs, got some grapes out of the refrigerator, washed them, put them on a plate, brought them upstairs and started eating them.

Thirty-one minutes ago: I started craving grapes.

Forty-five minutes ago: I wiki'd Dido. Did you know her real name is Dido Florian Cloud de Bounevialle O'Malley Armstrong? Sounds French-Irish. Also, she was born on Christmas Day, 1971. And she is supposed to have a new album coming out September 23rd.

Forty-five minutes and ten seconds ago: "White Flag" by Dido came on iTunes.

Four hours and fifteen minutes ago: I decided not to fold towels.

Four hours, fifteen minutes, and one second ago: I thought about folding towels.

An indeterminate amount of time ago, but still today: I watched a couple of old movies--Blackboard Jungle, with Sidney Poitier and Vic Morrow. And Alfred Hitchcock's The Trouble With Harry. They were both excellent. I love Turner Classic Movies!

Reverting back to the present (What? It's my blog, my rules): Christopher Cross just came on iTunes. I will not wiki him. I will not wiki him. But it's... really... hard.

Still present: Actually, that was kind of cool. It's like Back To The Future III, where they kept going back and forth in time and no one had any idea what was going on.

Still present, part III: OK, this is getting pretty long. So far, despite how exciting the Dido fun facts were, you've been on the uphill portion of the ride. Now, we're about to crest the hill. For the remainder of this entry, everything will go much faster, and you may or may not hear people screaming and small children crying.

One day ago, aka Saturday: Little Joe and I went to my friend Jamie's house on the lake. It was there that I fell off a jet ski for the first time in my life.

We were all three on it at the time. I was driving. Jamie was sitting between Little Joe and I, just to clarify. Her visor had blown off--due either to my fast and furious driving style or, more likely, a loose fit--and I had circled back around to look for it. We briefly discussed if and how long it might float. I thought about all the times I had seen the "Will It Float?" game on Letterman, and tried to remember if they ever used a cloth visor, but it seemed unlikely.

Reverting back to the present: Coincidentally, I caught the end of Hope Floats today on TV. "Birdee and Bernice, the coolest chicks in Smithville. So don't you ever think about leaving me again, because I need you." Sniff, sniff.

One day ago, picking up where I left off: It was about this same time that I began to ponder why the lifeguards on Baywatch didn't have jet skis. Not that I watched the show much... after Nicole Eggert left. But it seems to me they could have gotten to people a lot quicker on a jet ski, rather than just with that little orange floatie thing.

Anyway, we could talk about Baywatch all night. But back to our story. I located Jamie's visor and rescued it, and was feeling pretty good about myself. For about five seconds. When I tried to turn around to head back to the house, I turned a bit too sharply, and we all went over. It was actually fun. I'd do it again if I were still allowed to touch the jet ski.

Reverting to the present one last time: Christopher Cross' real name is Christopher Geppert. He recorded a new Christmas album that was released on iTunes last November. He won five Grammy Awards in 1981. But most importantly, he was mentioned in "The Millennium" episode of Seinfeld, where Newman reveals he booked Christopher Cross for his Newmannium party, which he started planning in 1978.

Two days ago, aka Friday: The Darryls were going out with a couple other people and invited me along, but I declined. Then I tried to hypnotize myself. I said, "When you wake up, you'll be exactly the same person you were before." You know, just in case.

This concludes your ride today on IYROOBTY. Please exit via the blogroll on the right and enjoy your stay in the blogosphere.

"If you get caught between the moon and New York City, the best that you can do, the best that you can do is fall in love..."


  1. Classic Bone humor in this post. In a word: fabulous.

    I can't pinpoint any one specific example that stood out the most, as the entire post had me laughing.

    I think I've only ever had one person on a jet ski with me before: three sounds...crowded. (Especially for poor Jamie! I mean, who wouldn't want to be Jamie?)

    That said... how prevalent were Jet Skis back in the Baywatch hayday? I don't think that much, but then, my TV knowledge is questionable at best.

  2. I folded towels last night. Didn't realize it was a choice :)

    Thanks for all the extraneous info

    I truly enjoyed slice of Bone vignettes and never knew I cared about Christopher Cross's real name. Must have been hard to wait to wiki him :)

    And the Dido coincidence, wow Bone

  3. LOL! It's the backwards episode! How very cool! I could try that with my weekend update...but I would rather not confuse folks.

    on our trip I noticed that in this one pond there was a snow mobile...I guess someone didn't make it across. LOL! I wonder if they drag it out now if they can save it?

  4. 10:44am ~ realized I still hadn't posted to Bone's blog.

    10:42am ~ started snacking on a bag of grapes.

    10:41 ~ finally able to take a quick break during work.

    8:45 ~ phone started to ring. People came into the office. Meeting ended.

    8:30 ~ Meeting began. Blogging break ended.

    8:25 ~ Opened google Reader. Noticed blog by Bone.

    7:45 ~ grabbed some grapes as I ran out the door for work.

  5. Too funny... As for Dido, I once listened to her on an airplane, decided I needed a CD (this was before I was into ipods and downloads), bought a CD later that day, only to leave it in the rental car when I left the city--5years later I still have the empty CD case somewhere.

    I now understand why she shortened her name.

  6. TC - Well, I asked, and she said it was a three-seater. Fortunately, we're all single and relatively thin.

    Pia - It was. And of course, his "Think Of Laura" was used on General Hospital. But I figured most everyone knew that already :)

    Renee - Oh, I doubt more than ten or twenty people find this confusing.

    You didn't stop to see if you could help? I think you may have just violated the Good Samaritan Law.

    Charlotta - Both of us with the grapes. What's up with that?

    I have been known to dial my work number repeatedly from my cell phone so people will think I'm busy and clear out of my space.

    Sage - Dido is nice. I once found an Ozzy Osbourne cassette in my car. The windows had been rolled up and the door locked. It scared me so I threw it out the window.

  7. Backwards, around, forward, and back again! Love the ramble of the day.

    Love to jet ski, but falling off would FREAK me out! I have this fear of not being able to see my feet in the water. Weird, but true.

  8. It's kinda like 52 card pickup... your activities and thots and things all shuffled around by the drop of them..

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks so random and

    Do you ever feel like you can't catch up with yourself?

  9. Did you recently watch "The Backwards Episode" or are you just staying on the Seinfeld theme for a while?

  10. Will it Float is one of my favorite talk show games! When I went on a cruise two years ago my friends and I had big plans to play that game when we got bored. But, alas, you are not allowed to throw things over the side...

  11. I'm so utterly confused.

    Three-ways on watercrafts, references to Baywatch and the shirking of household responsibilities like laundry lead me to believe "This was written by one of the straightest of straight men." But then you throw in Dido, Hope Floats, Christopher Cross and your perpetual friendship with two supposedly hetero-lifemates and I find myself wavering in that belief. ~grin~

    You're a conundrum, Sir Bone. But the most humorous one I know.

    Whatta ride, whatta ride.

  12. They really SHOULD have had jet skis on Baywatch. Would have made it MAYBE more believeable. Maybe?

    And WOW Dido's name is a mouthful. She had to remember ALL THAT when she was little? Sheesh!

  13. don't you love the randomness of shuffle on iTunes?! From Dido to Christopher Cross-- love it.

    Today I went from Black Crowes to Garth Brooks. Love it the MOST!

  14. Kontan - I have a fear of not being able to see a snake in the water.

    Shelby - My mind does tend to wander, I suppose. The most frustrating thing is when I come up with what I think is a profound thought or hilarious idea, but then I don't write it down and it is forgotten.

    Coconut - Not recently. But no Seinfeld episode is ever very far from m thoughts :)

    Krista - Oh, that would have been fun. They should make it a regular feature on every cruise! I also like the iPod game they play with Rupert, though I haven't seen it in awhile.

    Avery - Hey, give me a break here! Sandra Bullock is on Hope Floats. Dido is hawt! And Christopher Cross is, um, well... he um... I find his flowing melodies quite soothing.

    Angela - You didn't find Baywatch believable? Interesting. I never noticed any storylines :)

    Cami - Yes, yes. I love the shuffle. K-Ci and Jo Jo were also thrown in there, but I didn't Wiki them, because I was afraid they might have broken up and, well, that would just be too painful.

  15. You totally screwed up my time-space continuum.

  16. I'm dizzy from the ride. Hope Floats, one of my favorite re-run, Sunday afternoon movies. I love me some Harry Connick Jr.!!

    P.S. My cat Adeline's nickname is Birdie.

  17. I wouldn't have folded the towels either. ;)

    I've never been on a jet ski for that reason. I don't want to fall off into the water (and get eaten by a shark.)

  18. Go jet skiing and fall into Lake Superior. I can guarantee that you won't do it more than once. 40F water will shock your system like no other.

  19. I did some wiki-search for you. Look into K-Ci & JoJo-- I don't think you'll be disappointed. ;)

  20. Scarlet Hip - Well, that was bound to happen. Perhaps you should invest in a flux capacitor.

    Carnealian - Your cat has a name and a nickname? Does she answer to both? Hmm. Maybe I should give my fish a nickname.

    Carmen - I just want to state here, that as of Wednesday night, the towels have now been folded. (I had to clear out the dryer for my two pairs of plaid shorts.)

    Jen - Ooo, so it would be kinda like going overboard on Deadliest Catch?

    Cami - Oh thank you! You're like a female Joshua and Caleb, scouting out the promised land and coming back to tell me it's flowing with Wiki goodness.

  21. Your blog isn't teaching me anything about how to pass the Bar exam. Nice to know it still exists though!

  22. I did know that fact about Dido. She is so cool. Glad to hear she has a new album coming out.

    Were you all wearing life vests? I certainly hope so.

  23. I loooooooooooove Dido. What an incredible name!

    You fell off a jet ski saving a visor... what a HERO!

    Your OCD is out of control. If I were there, I would have shoved the other four grapes in my mouth and just made you throw away the one...

  24. I loved the backward storytelling!
    TCM my FAV channel on TV - Last week I was up late and watched TCM Underground- THE WHO- It was like a trip!! A trip in time!
    I am now currently lov'n MAD MEN, smoking drinking pregnant women, men in suits, drinking whiskey and smoking at work, scandal, hippies, (I do not practice or agree with any of these things but in the 50's-70's there was no caution) and somehow it is all soooo clean!

  25. Shane - Thanks. Nice to know you still exist, as well :)

    Interstellar - Dido is cool. Yep, we were wearing life jackets, and going about three miles an hour at the time. But still.

    Blondie - Thanks. I was kinda pretending I was on Deadliest Catch and one of my men had just gone overboard.

    And as for the grapes, you could have tried, but I'd have forced you to eat the last one ;)

    Daily Panic - I love TCM, too. They seem to be especially good on Sunday afternoons.

  26. I've just started reading you blog (although Xinh talks about you with some frequency).

    This was like reading Memento. Brilliant stuff!

  27. oh you did this so well, Bone...back and forth, back and forth - now I am confused..are we in today or yesterday? :)