Tuesday, November 28, 2006

The False Messiah raps

I was awakened by a text message at 7:16 Monday morning. It read, "By by shula channel six." That was my Mom, alerting me that Alabama's football coach had been fired. (Except that it actually said channen six. But she's only been texting for a short time, and I don't think she knows how to delete or backspace yet.) Anyway, that probably tells you more about my life and background than anything.

Thus ended my Thanksgiving holiday weekend. It wound up being more eventful than the False Messiah had anticipated. First of all, Wednesday was Laura's last day on General Hospital. It was incredibly sad. And might I add, cruel, for them to bring her back then snatch her away just as quickly.

I also noticed that with my gray pullover sweater and glasses, I was beginning to look a bit like Dillon Quartermaine. Although when I took the GH personality quiz online, it said I was most like Nikolas. Which is probably accurate.

Thursday was good, as I got to see Mom, Dad, and my sister. And eat. And then play Clue and 80's Trivial Pursuit with friends. Although I kept blurting out answers to other people's questions. And everyone got mad. Well, not really mad. More like slightly perturbed, in that it's-cute-at-first-but-now-it's-getting-old-but-still-it's-Bone-so-what-can-you-do kind of way.

Mom had oral surgery Friday. Even though she didn't say anything, I could tell she was really nervous about it, as she'd never been put to sleep. My sister and I took turns sitting with her Friday and Saturday, as she pretty much laid around all weekend. She seems to be doing OK now.

Saturday night, I went to see Bobby. Let's just say it wasn't what I expected. And I mistook Demi Moore and Emilio Estevez for Courtney Cox and David Arquette. But the video and audio clips of Robert Kennedy campaigning and speaking were worth the price of admission for me. They don't make speakers like that anymore.

Began my Christmas shopping Sunday and put up my tree last night. (I'll try and post a picture later.) Also checked to make sure my Festivus pole was still in the crawlspace. It was. I'll be dragging that out later this month.

I've also spent the past couple of days pondering my dating quiz results from the post below. I think that False Messiah would be a killer rap name, should I ever decide to pursue that avenue.

Here are just a few lines I've been spitting, as the kids say:
I'm the False Messiah/This ain't Mount Moriah/I don't know Hezekiah/But you can call me king/My street cred's invincible/My rhymes super sensible/Your crime indefensible/If you don't dance and sing...

I'll keep tweaking it. It's all a process. A journey. I imagine this is how Eminem got started. Or at least Weird Al.

"Come on, weatherman, give us a forecast snowy white. Can't you hear the prayers of every childlike heart tonight..."


  1. ooh, christmas shopping. What'dya get me? ;)

  2. No False Messiah should be your new screenname

    It could take you to a better edge, says she, who never blurts the answers to others Trivial Pursuit games and if playing with new people purposely screws up the first two

    Actually most of my friends don't play board games anymore. But we talk about it a lot.

    The rap music needs some tweaking but I'm on anti rap, hip hop thing--took over the rock and country sections in the going out of business Tower--so maybe you should tweak further for a future or something

    nd you're more like Lucky would have been if Jonathon Jackson had continued

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  4. Weird Al is my hero!

    I'm impressed that you've got your tree up!
    We usually do our the week before the big day
    but I'm inspired by you to get it done earlier.

  5. The questions IS, do you really want to be like Eminem, Bone? Really?

    Your description of driving your family nuts is too funny :) I happen to know someone just like that...

  6. Carmen: Oh, I was just going to wait and get you a Christmas/birthday gift in January :)

    Pia: Yes! I'm definitely like Lucky would have been, if JJ had stayed. Good call.

    Heather B: I'm sure most everyone has wanted to spork me at one time or another.

    Ms.L: I usually try and get mine up by the end of Thanksgiving weekend. I was one day late this year.

    Chica: Probably not. I was just saying how our careers may have had eerily similar beginnings :)

  7. I think, with those mad phat rhymes, you're treading the Federline waters. :)

    Didn't realize Shula got canned. I like him, thought Bama had chose wisely. Not based on his record, just a gut feeling. You all may go after Cutcliffe, but I doubt it.

  8. Thanks for the tip on Bobby. I would like to see it. Maybe I'll wait for it to come out on DVD???

  9. i have a format question for you..i didn't know where else to ask..help?

  10. When you do decide to pursue your rapping career, I was wondering if I could possibly be the hipster cat behind the turn tables with the thick shades, shimmering golden bling around the neck, and oversized football shirts and jeans?

  11. Big Man: Ha, most fans of other SEC schools loved Shula :)

    And I've only ever heard part of one Federline song, ever. That was plenty.

    Lindsy: Either way. I liked it. But then again, I'm pretty much interested in anything to do with the Kennedys.

    Alison: I'll be glad to help if I can. I looked last night but couldn't find any contact info on your blog.

    Zeus: I don't see why not. I'll be taking applications for two co-rappers-slash-synchronized-dancers, one DJ with skillz, and four to eight what I like to call "fly girls."

    I'll have someone in my posse contact you.

  12. festivus for the rest of us! i was recently reminded of this when a coworker told me about her upcoming festivus party where they do all things festivus. i totally hope i can attend. :)

    you could totally be the next superstar rapper.

  13. Would you really be that mean to Carmen?

    I'm doing pretty well with my Christmas shopping and the trees are up. I still need to put up my garland on the banisters...had a killer headache yesterday, took drugs and passed out.

    Hummm I didn't tell DH about your Festivus pole last year...I wonder if he would like one? Perhaps as a Christmas present? LOL

  14. First off, I'm here to stay!!

    I really think your rap name should be J-Dizzle, but along those same lines, I don't think you have quite enough "street cred" to rap yet ;-)

    As for GH, I really think you should talk to someone about this...you seem to think these people are real!

    Hahaha, it's fun teasing you :-)

    I can't log in to my account here at work :-(

  15. Falsey-

    I thought you went to see her then got what you meant...

    Glad your mom is doing well... and that you had a pleasant holiday, even if distracted by your silly... err... important GH.

    Happy Day.

    The Peach

  16. You are entirely too on top of things as far as Xmas shopping decorating, etc. I'm jealous!! Glad to hear Shula is gone and that next year y'all have a super season!

    I so need to buy the 80's trivial pursuit. I HATE IT when people blurt out answers! I'm getting some duct tape for when I kick your butt at a round of 80's trivia!

    False Messiah would be a great name for a band or a rapper....uh, you might want to rework those few lines you have goin on.

  17. Ms. Sizzle: Let me know if you need some Human Fund cards to give out.

    Thanks for the rap love. Two chest pounds and a peace sign fo' ya.

    Renee: A Festivus Pole as a Christmas present? There's some irony for ya.

    Just B: J-Dizzle would work, too. I could be like the Fresh Prince/Will Smith. Start out as False Messiah, then become J-Dizzle once the movie offers start rolling in.

    Maya: OK, GH haters. Don't knock it until you watch it and blog about it.

    Carnealian: I tell ya what, it's harder than I thought it would be. We'll see who kicks who's butt ;-)

  18. Hhhmmmm... I've wondered if I should go see Bobby. I went to see The Fountain a couple of nights ago. It was pretty good! I'd not seen any previews.... so I went blind... but I liked it!

  19. Kerry: I never thought to myself "when is this going to end." So that's always a good sign. Oh, and Sharon Stone is still attractive. If that helps :)

  20. Since you mentioned the festivus pole... you should order this in time for festivus. Unless you already have one:


  21. Lizzie: I like it.

    Hey, wait a second. Are you designing shirts and trying to sell them?

    OK, you got me. How much?