Monday, May 12, 2014

Music Monday: The one where I mention all of you

It feels like it's been about three days since my last post.


It's been eleven.

It's mid-May and I've posted exactly four new blog entries this year.  Good heavens, the Rolling Stones put out more new material than I do.

It appears getting back into blogging is going to be more difficult than I imagined.  This must be how Mister Kotter felt when he returned to Brooklyn, "4th Largest City in America."  He gave his first test, then didn't grade it for like ten days.  (That was one of the lost episodes, I'm sure.)

Anyway, that's how I feel.  I'm Gabe Kaplan, and you guys are my Sweathogs.  Sage, you can be Washington.  Ed, you're Epstein.  Umm... Jill, you wanna be Barbarino?  I think we all agree John Travolta was as pretty as a woman anyway, am I right?

OK, scratch that.  I'm gonna need a lot more male readers for this Welcome Back, Kotter analogy to work.

How about this?  You're all Charlie's Angels, and I'm the Tom-Bosley-looking guy who played on the show.


Alright, I got it.  It's Three's Company!  TC, you're Janet.  Heidi, you're Suzanne Somers, always off writing your poetry.  I'm John Ritter, naturally.  Sage, you're Mister Furley.  MarkD, you can be Larry or Mister Roper, your choice.  Um, Cindy you can be Cindy, because obviously.  Hilary, you can be the other girl who came after Suzanne Somers. I think she was a nurse, and we can just pretend she's from Canada.

No, wait, wait, wait!  It's "Happy Days!"  I'm Scott Baio, and I've just returned from a few months away at... mechanic's school.   Sherri B, I need you to play the dual role of Joanie and Mrs. C.  Who wants to be Tom Bosley in this one?  Oh my God, why is Tom Bosley suddenly such a huge part of my life????

OK, I really got it now!  It's Facts of Life.  OKChick, you're Blair.  Cami, you can be Tootie.  Renee, you're Mrs. Garrett.  Um, Actonbell, you can be Jo, always off in the corner playing Scrabble or.... working on cars.  Pia, you're Phoebe.  J. Adamthwaite, you're Rachel.  Xinh, you can be Monica.  And I'll be George Clooney-slash-Ross... and Joey.

Am I leaving anyone out?  Oh, Jocelyn!  Alright, new show -- 90210.  You're Brenda Walsh, because she was from Minnesota.  I'm Brandon because I always wanted to be Brandon.  Blondie you're Kelly Taylor, because blonde and California.  (I like how suddenly mid-post I need to have reasons to validate the character assignments.)  And Susan, you can be Donna, since I'm pretty sure you graduated.

OK, I think that's everyone who might possibly read my blog.  It's a good thing, too.  My only other ideas were T.J. Hooker or the Harlem Globetrotters Visit Gilligan's Island (starring me as The Professor and Meadowlark Lemon).

And if I left anyone out, well, at my age that was bound to happen.  Also please don't be offended by your assignments.  Remember there are no small roles, only small actors.  It's going to take a concerted effort to pull this off, people.

Speaking of concerts.... (Sorry, that was the best I could do.  If you have any better ideas for transitioning from Meadowlark Lemon to a concert, PM me and I'll do some post-production editing.)

2014 has been the year of the concert for me.  I've been to three so far (George Strait, Randy Rogers Band, Jason Isbell) and there have been about eight more that I really wanted to see but couldn't justify financially (Springsteen, Billy Joel, Rob Thomas, to name a few).

Now if only The Hold Steady would come within a 300-mile radius.

Saturday night, we saw Jason Isbell.  I figured that would make a good Music Monday post (though I must admit I never foresaw the four-thousand-word intro about sitcoms coming).

He turned out to be much better live than on CD.  And I liked him on CD.  You know what I mean by CD right?  It just seems so odd to say MP3.  Anyhow, here is some footage I did not shoot of a performance I was not at (but I do love the song)...

"The AC hasn't worked in twenty years /  Probably never made a single person cold / But I can't say the same for me / I've done it many times..."


  1. Phoebe--I like it. Will sing Dirty Kitty or whatever that was called for something or nothing

    I liked this post. The 4,00 word intro made me laugh which I needed

  2. So awesome Bone! Eleven days isn't that bad a pause. And...Suzanne Somers? Not bad. I'm also okay being "Sweet Cousin Maldehyde" from the "Scooby-Doo Where Are You" where Scooby is named in the eccentric guy's will.

  3. I feel the need to go watch now, and see if Janet fits me. I get called Samantha a lot, but this is my first time for Janet.

    I think about blogging sometimes. Even wrote the other night for the first time in about a year. (Well personal writing that is.) But you know how it goes - somehow, it never makes it to the blog. I guess all of that is to say I'm impressed I get a mention in your post :)

  4. WHAT THE FROSTING!!! I stopped reading after you called me Mrs Garret!!!! I AM NOT THAT OLD!!!!

    Give me the part of Elaine or I'm leaving!!!

  5. PIA: You just lost your role of Phoebe. You don't even know the song!!!!

    It's Smelly Cat.
    Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, What are they feeding you?
    Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, It's not your fault!

    They never take you to the vet,
    you're obviously not their favorite pet

    Smelly Cat, Smelly Cat, It's not your fault!

  6. Pia ~ Smelly Cat, but you were close!

    Heidi ~ I was going to make you Kate Jackson from Charlie's Angels since she's originally from Alabama. Then, uh, I'm not sure what happened.

    TC ~ Well she worked in a flower shop and you like flowers, right? Uhh... yeah, that's all I got.

    Renee ~ What are you talking about??? Charlotte Rae played one of the most beloved characters on the NBC Wednesday night prime time lineup in the early 80's!

    You can't be Elaine. The best I can offer is: I'm a medical student and you have to pretend you have gonorrhea.

    Or, you can be Pia's understudy. But I'll be watching you like a hawk at the softball game!


  8. "Mr. Kotter, I got a note excusing my absenteeism. "

    I wish I had hair like Epstein, even if I had to wear it in a fro!

  9. I guess I can live with Donna. As long as it's not Tori from her more recent reality shows.

  10. "Cindy's trademark was that she was highly clumsy and accident prone, often bumping into things or spilling things "

    How did you know????? :-)

  11. But I don't wanna be a Phoebe!

    wait wait. Hold it stop, (sob) I'm sorry, I have to start it over, my shoelace. (sob) I can't do it like this. Please let me start over. (sob) Please. (sob) Please. . . .

  12. DUDE, you made us twins! I'm so happy about that! Do we share a bathroom? You like Dylan, right? 'Cause he's my One True Love...except when he's dating that bitch Kelly. I mean, my best friend Kelly.

    Did you see the episode where Kelly worried about her "problem areas," btw?

    Anyhow, I have no idea why I haven't been here in so long. I'm lying. I do. I haven't been here in a long time because I've been sucky at reading blogs in general. No matter how lax I am, however, you're always my brother.

  13. :-) I have absolutely no idea who Rachel is, but I'm going to choose to be flattered! I love that you put this much effort into casting us :-)

  14. Wow, It's been a long time since I watched Welcome Back Cotter... I suppose I'll now need to head to the gym and shoot some hoops for I am a little rusty. Oh, and the "white-boy afro" that I sported in the 70s has long gone down the drain in the shower and clogged up the pipes...

  15. Umm...Hello? I don't see my name anywhere!