Sunday, July 24, 2011

Dashboard confessional

The Jeep hit a milestone Thursday. And apparently, I thought no one would believe me if I just told them? Why else would I take a picture?

What? I had to slow down to take the picture. Because while texting and driving is now against the law in our increasingly totalitarianistic state, as far as I know taking pictures while driving is not.

One hundred thousand miles. Or by my rudimentary calculations, somewhere between $12,000 and $18,000 in gasoline. I started thinking what if gas were half the price it is now, how much money could be poured back into the economy. So let's say $7,000, multiplied by a guesstimated 200 million licensed drivers, where each abacus bead represents $100 billion dollars, carry the one, the total comes to roughly $1.4 trillion. Per one hundred thousand miles driven, of course.

Thursday was also my Dad's 61st birthday. I'm not sure how many miles that equates to, but fortunately Dad has always been pretty low maintenance.

Once again ignoring his requests for socks, I got him a gift card to one of his favorite restaurants and a fairly lame card. That's because I'm pretty sure the only decent card they had was the exact card I got him last year. And I looked in three different stores! The selection of greeting cards in this country is beyond atrocious.

We had a small gathering at my sister's. Dad was there, as you might imagine, since it was his birthday. But Nephew Bone was the star of the show, as he has been since making his debut almost three years ago. He has progressed from saying "Bama" to now saying "Amabama," which we unanimously agree is the cutest thing ever. Of course, I had to joke that Mom and Dad didn't think it was all that cute when my sister started saying "Amabama." Then again, she was nine.

After supper, Nephew Bone took me by the finger (unknowingly causing my heart to instantly melt), and led me back to the hayfield. He had me put him on top of a hay bale. Then my sister's dog, Pepper, jumped up on one, presumably to protect Nephew Bone? I dunno.

Anyway, there were eight or ten bales lined up with small enough spaces in between so that you could step from one to the next. Suddenly, Pepper started racing back and forth on top of them. She looked like a greyhound at the track. Well, Nephew Bone just thought this was the funniest thing ever. He nearly fell off the hay bale he was laughing so hard. I reached to steady him. He could barely stand. It was one of those can't-catch-his-breath laughs, and it was just perfect.

Mostly, the miles rush by in a blur, by the hundreds and thousands. But a few are worth slowing down for, if only to take a mental picture.

"If we had an hourglass to watch each one go by, or a bell to mark each one to pass, we'd see just how they fly..."


  1. I still remember getting honked at driving slowly down the side of the street trying to get a shot of my car turning over 100,000. Back then, I didn't have a digital camera so when I got the picture back six months later, all I could see was my face reflecting in the glass cover over the odometer. I at least still have the memory.

  2. My nephew says "Amabama"!!! love it- agreed- most adorable thing ever. nephews are the best!

    also. change your focus on cards- try to find the most absurd one for every holiday. Much more entertaining :)

  3. You might want to check the wording on the anti-cell phone law. It's entirely possible it says something like "operating a cellular phone while driving a vehicle" and does not specifically refer to "talking". I frequent a few forums which discuss how to fight various traffic tickets and a guy who got a ticket for using his cellphone while driving claimed he told the cop he was using it as a GPS. The cop said "irrelevant" and ticketed him anyway.

    Now in this case the guy shot himself in the foot by admitting to the cop that he was using his cellphone as a GPS, because in his case the law forbid the use of a cellphone while driving. Not talking, but use.

    Had he told the officer he "was not talking" on his phone he may have been able to fight it by showing via his phone records that he was neither making nor receiving a call at the time he was ticketed, thus requiring the cop to prove that he was using it, perhaps for texting, but the cop has no proof he was doing that, either.

    Your Honor, I have provided proof that I was neither making nor receiving a phone call. The ticketing Officer suggested that I was using my phone to send and/or receive a text message, but offered no proof any such activity occurred. I have stated under oath that I was not texting nor about to do so, and in light of the Officer having no evidence to support his case, I humbly request the charges against me be dropped.

  4. Ed - Yeah, it's not easy. And I apparently don't know how to take a picture with my Blackberry, as I kept pressing the button I thought was to take a picture, and it kept putting another menu on the screen.

    Cami - That could work, although I'm not sure he saw the humor in the "World's Greatest Dad" t-shirt I got him for a gag gift on Father's Day.

    Cap'n John - I'm pretty sure talking is still allowed here. For now, anyway. I'm not sure of the exact wording of the law, but I know the signs they put up just mention texting. As I recall, something I read online when it was passed said no viewing pictures or video, but didn't specifically mention taking pictures. Still, I may seek your legal counsel in the future.

  5. There's no greater sound than a three-year old laughing with gusto and joy. Truly. What a sweet moment you shared - thanks for sharing it with us! Cheers to 100,000 miles. :~)

  6. Congrats on keeping your vehicle long enough to reach the 100,000 mark. Today that's quite an accomplishment! My neighbor (who's up to 13 cars now that the youngest is driving btw) seems to buy them at the 100,000 point though...ugh!

    Here we have no cell phone while driving laws and the fact that 3 of my friends have been rear ended by texters seems to me like a very good reason to have one. I've told them all to sue the drivers, but alas I don't think any of them have taken me seriously.

    Happy Birthday to the Old Skeleton. Or is that not an appropriate name for him? ;o) Would Bone Dad be better?

    and there is nothing cuter than the little guys! In Sept we get to go see my niece's two little ones...her 3y/o will be the flower girl in my second niece's wedding.

  7. Oh this was such a sweet tender touching post Nephew Bone owns a spot in my heart. Nieces are also adorable until they grow up. Then they're incredible!
    My word verification is hellam. Should be iamhell!

  8. Nice post. We've also kept cars that long, but never thought to photograph proof. :)

  9. 45 mphs and still able to take a picture with a cell phone? I'm impressed...unless you were on the expressway and had just dropped down from 70 mphs as you were trying to take the photo.

  10. "Mostly, the miles rush by in a blur, by the hundreds and thousands. But a few are worth slowing down for, if only to take a mental picture."

    Thanks for reminding me.

  11. when my truck turned 100k, i had it on trip mileage and missed it... Happy birthday to your dad!

  12. That's cool. I prob will never see that
    since we buy a new car every year

    kinda like that new car smell
    the sportsman. Not soooo much


  13. I love the title of this post, and that's a lot of miles! Congrats.

  14. Sweetest In The Gale - Agreed. It's infectious.

    Renee - Thirteen cars? There should be some kind of reality show for that.

    For sure it can be distracting, but there's plenty of things that distract people in a car -- radio, kids, food, braless wonders strolling down the sidewalk. Pretty soon you won't even be able to shave while driving.

    OK, I chuckled at Old Skeleton.

    Pia - Nieces are also adorable until they grow up. Then they're incredible!

    Great line. I can tell you don't speak from experience or anything, do you? :)

    Madeleine - Well, if you ever do, I recommend having a passenger take the pic :)

    Murf - I was not on the expressway. However, I had just dropped down from 60, so feel free to remain impressed.

    Cooper - That's why I'm here. OK, really I'm not sure why I'm here, but it sounded good.

    Jeff - Oh, not me. I'd been prepping for this moment for about the last 800 miles. Of course, then I nearly missed it because I'm not adept at working the camera on my Blackberry.

    KittyCat - I'm actually hoping this one has another 100,000 in her. Love the new car smell though.

    OKChick - Thanks. I had the title in mind from the start. In fact, I think I wrote the whole post just so I could use the title.

  15. I constantly take pictures while I'm driving. Of course, I'm usually going less than 5 mph because I'm stuck in L.A. traffic so I don't feel like I'm endangering anyone.

    Congrats on the 100k with the Jeep!

  16. Mostly, the miles rush by in a blur, by the hundreds and thousands. But a few are worth slowing down for, if only to take a mental picture. - so true. It's one of the reasons I blog (when I do - it's getting rarer these days!) It's a way to collect these morsels and make myself less likely to forget them.

  17. 100,000 miles--congrats on keeping a car running so long.

    And happy belated birthday to your dad. I love getting socks, actually.