Ssss-aaaa-ffff-eeee-tttt-yyyy Blog

I went to Facebook to change my relationship status--you remember, my self-fulfilling prophecy thing.

Well... I couldn't do it.

Oh, it all started out well enough. I was sitting there trying to decide between their six available relationship options. You know the ones--single, in a relationship, she's complicated, etc. Then I got scared that all my Facebook friends would get a notification that I was now in a relationship. I seemed to remember seeing someone else's relationship status change pop up on my page one time.

From there, I started thinking of all the questions people would have about my new love. And then about how I would have to explain that I wasn't really in a relationship, that this was just a sociological experiment. Before long, I had over-analyzed myself out of the whole thing.

So apparently, I can't even commit to a fake Facebook relationship.

Never fear, however, for today turned out to be a harbinger of good news that perhaps this relationship recession is beginning to turn around. I am proud to announce that as of this morning--9:30ish--I officially have my very own safety.

Here's how it happened:

Bone: do you wanna be my backup or safety

Katie: uh
i thought you had a backup

Bone: maybe
but i can't remember

Katie: i already have one

Bone: ok you can be my safety
that's below backup
which means you'll likely never be needed

Katie: or so you hope

Bone: lol
do you accept

Katie: uh, sure

Bone: YES!

Katie: i reserve the right to redact this at a later date

I was so convincing! Reading it now, it doesn't even seem like it was me doing the typing. It feels like somebody else saying those things, or like I was channeling Dwight Schrute.

So now I have a safety. Next, I need to find a backup. And after that, well I haven't thought that far ahead yet.

"We can dance if we want to. We can leave your friends behind. 'Cause your friends don't dance and if they don't dance, well they're no friends of mine..."