(Courtesy of fakeonion.net)
Anderson, IN ~ A 43-year-old Indiana man says he is now "questioning everything" after finding out his favorite stripper, K8ie Texxass, has been using a stage name. Danny Money, who says he is a risk management analyst from nearby Indianapolis, has been coming to The Pole Barn gentleman's club for the better part of two decades.
"I've never had anything like this happen," a still shaken Money said before rattling off a list of his previous favorites. "I mean, Honey Wails, Misty Reign, Lauren Boobert -- they were real. Nothing about them was fake. You felt like you knew these girls. You became friends with them. At least until they graduated college or... got remarried."
Money reportedly made the discovery when the stripper's ID fell out of her purse. "Yeah, it just fell right out! I definitely wasn't looking through her purse or anything."
When asked if the exotic spelling of the name didn't give him pause, Money shrugged, "I figured it was like a self-fulfilling prophecy or something."
Now he knows "K8ie Texxass" is really Brooke Delashaw. "And she ain't even from Texas," complained Money. "She's from flippin' Muncie!"
When reached for comment, Ms. Delashaw said she no longer works for the club, stating she quit due to "that creepy guy who kept telling me he was Eddie Money's brother and he wanted to take me home tonight. Is that supposed to impress me? Who the heck is Eddie Money"!
Money later told us he was unsure if he'd even continue coming to the club every Thursday night. However, it appears he may have just been letting off a little steam, as a witness claims to have seen him the very next week at the nearby A&W, getting change for a twenty.
Meantime, another dancer at The Pole Barn, Jill Lishous, reports that Money had only very recently started casting suspicious glances in her direction.
Editor's Note: After a quick search of credit card receipts and social media accounts, it was determined that Danny Money's real name is Edward Quattlebaum. He is a painter apprentice, from Markleville,
