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Friday, June 06, 2008

Uninvited

(I wrote this for 3 Word Wednesday The words were: Deny, Smile, Uncomfortable)

E. Barclay Logan stared across the wide mahogany table, almost glaring now. The young man looking back at him was holding up a wallet-sized photograph. Logan snatched the picture out of the boy's hand, glanced at it, then thrust it back in the direction from which it came.

"Never saw her."

"Are you sure about that?" the young man shot back as he held up a second picture. Logan was growing more and more perturbed by the boy's audacity. Who was this kid to question the wealthy E. Barclay Logan. And in his own home to boot. But at the same time, maybe that was the very reason he'd not called security to remove the young man yet.

Reluctantly taking the second photograph, the gray haired man was stunned when he saw it. It was a picture of the woman from the first photograph standing next to a much younger version of himself.

This time he examined it a bit longer. And though there were no visible outward signs, for just a few seconds the old man softened. As he remembered the shiny brown hair and genuine smile, just a bit crooked with mouth slightly agape. He gathered himself, then spoke.

"What are you trying to pull here, boy? You got something to say? Say it," Logan growled, hoping to intimidate his uninvited guest. But for the first time in this meeting, he was the one feeling uncomfortable. He realized his hands had begun to sweat, his throat was parched.

"So you do know her?" the young man wasn't backing down.

"I knew her," Logan admitted, no longer able to deny it. "A long time ago. She was just a girl. There were a hundred of 'em. What's it to you?"

The young man got up from the table and started to leave. Pausing when he reached the door, he turned and looked at Logan with hazel eyes that were suddenly familiar to the old man.

"That was my mother."

The door closed and the young man was gone. His words still reverberating thru the otherwise silent room like thunder that just rumbles on and on and seems like it will never end.

"I was thinking I was angry, but I let it go. I was waiting on a miracle, but nothing showed..."

13 comments:

  1. But at the same time, maybe that was the very reason he'd not called security to remove the young man yet.

    Love that sentence. Love how you take a familiar scenario and make it unique
    via details
    Logan growled, hoping to intimidate his uninvited guest. But for the first time in this meeting, he was the one feeling uncomfortable. He realized his hands had begun to sweat, his throat was parched.
    That's wonderful

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  2. Oh if you need a tor :)

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  3. She was just a girl. There were a hundred of 'em. What's it to you?"

    so there could be a hundred "uninvited" guests? Perhaps someone should have been more careful out there. ;)

    good story!

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  4. I need to know the history behind it!

    *grin*

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  5. You bring so much alive with this story... and leave so much to the imagination. You describe her hair and her smile with accuracy, but leave us wondering if those hazel eyes are familiar to him because they matched hers... or his own.

    I held my breath while reading this, having a hunch where it was going, and yet not having a clue. I had so many questions: WHY did she leave? What happened to cause that riff? I not only wanted to know the end - I practically had to know how it ended. You did an excellent job drawing us into the plot.

    While I love your poetry and lyrics, it's wonderful to see you back spinning us a good yarn :)

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  6. Wow! Great job Bone! Glad I didn't miss it. :)

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  7. Bone, never once when I come here am I ever disappointed! I have absolutely loved being apart of this coliseum of writing that is 3ww!! This story was so well-written I loved the brashness of the 'never seen her' to the unraveling of the emotions as the second picture comes to life. Excellent job!

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  8. The writing is really lively. Hence, you're not only carried along by the story, but the style of the writer.
    Excellent.

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  9. Great story! You had me hooked...now I'm wondering what happens next. Thanks for your kind comment on my blog...it was nice to visit 3WW again. :~)

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  10. Pia - Thanks. I really liked the word "uncomfortable." I was trying to think of uncomfortable situations and I think the story was just born from that.

    Renee - Haha. Yes, theoretically, I suppose there could have been. Or maybe he was just making that up.

    Charlotta - Thanks for that encouragement. Could you maybe come to my next 10K and yell "Don't ever stop running, Bone?" :)

    Gautami - A prequel maybe? Hmm.

    TC - Why, thank you. I like to leave a little to the imagination sometimes, and 3WW is perfect for that.

    You really held your breath? I'm not sure anything I've written has ever made someone hold their breath :) At least I've not been told if it has.

    Tammy - Thanks. I'm glad you didn't miss it, too.

    Amaretto Girl - I hoped the attitude would come across in "Never seen her." So it's nice to know that it did. Thank you for the very kind words.

    Anthony - Thank you for the thoughtful comment.

    Fledgling Poet - Thank you. It's so nice to see you around again.

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  11. good write bone... i wanna hear more from the old rich guy.....

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  12. nice story, it leaves me with lots of questioning and pondering, which is good

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