A week or so ago, I was driving with Mom in the car. We were coming back from somewhere, discussing the typical mother/son fare. You know, work, family, the new Steak Out we're getting (booyah!), last night's Nancy Grace. And then...
Bone: "I still haven't been to the new Walgreens."
Momma Bone: "You haven't?"
Bone: "No."
Momma Bone: "I go in there all the time to use the bathroom."
Bone (a bit confused and on the verge of laughter): "What?!"
Momma Bone: "Oh yeah, they've got the nicest bathroom in town."
Yep. Now you know where I get it. Up until that moment, I didn't even know where I got it. We Bones are very particular about our restroom experiences. And one more piece of the puzzle of why I am who I am falls neatly into place.
Actually, that was excellent information. I mean, it's good to know these things. Maybe I should start compiling a list. It could be like those websites that list the cheapest gas in each city. Except mine would list the most exquisite public restrooms.
"And heaven help us always to remember, that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world..."
She sounds like my mom. Perfect!
ReplyDelete:D
I went in there about a month ago, and it wasn't too clean. Maybe they were having an off day!
ReplyDeleteYou are George Castanza!
ReplyDeleteAccording to Carmen someone has already come out with a bathroom list...but I think it's in NY or something. It was on her Verison (sp?) blog.
ReplyDeleteBut yes there is something to be said for a good bathroom. DD doesn't like to go in public bathrooms and will hold it forever. I don't have that luxury anymore.
As for which bathrooms are best, I like the ones with a chart that shows how often it was cleaned. But I still have to wonder why people are so gross in public restrooms... are they this gross at home too? blech!
the apple doesn't fall from the tree...
ReplyDeleteHAHA! This sounds like a conversation my mom and I would have. My family can tell you about all the bathrooms from OK to Ark. Really we can!
ReplyDeleteI'm just smiling over the use of booyah! in the first paragraph: I've missed it :)
ReplyDeleteSounds to me like you got the weirdest, err quirkiest, err make that best from both of your parents... O:)
Uh, my father had a list...and he used to stop in front of fancy hotels and make my sister and I go and ask to use them
ReplyDeleteThink that's why I liked to live centrally located
There is a list of good New York bathrooms. I've never seen a cleaning schedule. Wow--that's amazing
Hate to say this as I should find the subject matter vile but great post
That would be a most useful list. You never know when ya gotta go!
ReplyDeleteMy housemate want to start an online review of restaurant bathrooms. Give them points out of 10 for things like
ReplyDelete1) decor
2) cleanliness
3) softness of toilet paper
4) hand dryers
etc
P.s I also have a public toilet peeing phobia ;)
This made me smile! My sister ALWAYS has to check the bathrooms out!!!
ReplyDeleteGautami - Thanks. So your Mom knows all the best restrooms, too? :)
ReplyDeleteJawana - Are you questioning Momma Bone? *gasp*
Charlotta - Oh, I could never claim to be on George's level. Not yet, anyway. It warms my heart that this post made you think of Seinfeld.
Renee - A chart is good. A prophylactic machine on the wall? Usually a bad sign.
Yeah, there are some terrible ones that just make you want to burn your shoes as soon as you leave.
Daily Panic - Or in our case, the cherry :)
OK Chick - Wonderful! These are clearly the things families should be discussing in an open forum. I mean, what's more important?
TC - I am definitely thankful this particular trait was passed along.
Pia - I'd like to meet the creator of this list. I feel like he/she and I already know each other.
Thank you.
Carnealian - I agree. It would take a group effort though. Sort of like epinions for public restrooms.
Miss M - Ooo, I like! A fresh scent and cool temperature is also nice. I don't like to be hot when I'm... expelling.
I never sit in public restrooms. I don't see how you girls do it. I hope you have strong leg muscles.
Amber - Glad you enjoyed it. And good for your sister!
You have the humor of a ten year old. I know I used to say 14 but that was a year or three ago. They grow up so fast now :)
ReplyDeleteSigned: one who was going through her parents bureaus when she was about 12 and found a friend chain letter about constipation. What my father could have done with the Internet
Haha - too funny. My family will pee anywhere... not too picky. Not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing...
ReplyDeleteBeing a momma of a son (not quite as old as you), but old enough, I find this h i l a r i o u s, and then quite realistic.
ReplyDeleteI've said such things. About bathrooms.
It is important.
I'll always remember your bathroom etiquite post anyway.. and now you have the perfect 'sequel' in a way.
I don't think I've ever had the public restroom talk with my mom. Something else for my therapy sessions. Wait, I don't go to therapy...
ReplyDeletemy mom knew all the best restrooms too--and she carried a small thing of lysol in her purse, just in case!
ReplyDeleteAnon - Is it possible the maturity level of my humor is actually regressing?
ReplyDeleteI think we all know the answer to that.
Blondie - I would say bad thing. Though it must be quite convenient :)
Shelby - It was one of those hilarious moments that need no embellishment.
I think I'm gonna see about having the restroom etiquette post passed into law. Or at least posted as a friendly suggestion in all public men's rooms :)
Lass - You never had the talk? Wow, this explains so much ;)
Sage - Those are values and life lessons that you just can't put a price on.
Hope you and Momma Bone do something special together to celebrate her birthday.
ReplyDeleteMaybe you can discuss the best bathroom cleaning products? :)