Ode to Monday?

Monday
Why must you be so Monday
I dread you all day long on Sunday
So because of you half my weekend is basically shot

Monday
Why must you be so doggone Monday
Every week you're the same no fun day
What, suddenly I'm the Bangles now? Susanna Hoffs is kinda hot

Monday
I spend fourteen-point-two-eight-five-seven-one-four infinity percent of my life on you, Monday
And that's just wrong

Monday
The Mamas and the Papas sang about you, Monday
I'm running out of things to rhyme with Monday
Only you could make Tuesday not seem all that bad

Monday
They even gave you Monday Night Football and still you suck, Monday
Just thought of a rhyme so I'll put it here: runway
Like at an airport or a fashion show, OK I'm getting off track

Monday
Why must you be so cotton-pickin' Monday
Whatever Norse god you're named for must be pissed, Monday
If it were me, I know I would be highly displeased

Monday
Completely out of things now to rhyme with Monday
In Office Space they got a case of you, Monday
Which, if you didn't catch that, means you're like a disease

Monday
This song seems to go on forever like you do, Monday
The coach of the Orlando Magic is Stan Van Gundy
And I bet he hates himself because his name kinda rhymes with you

Monday
At this point I'm unashamedly using a rhyming dictionary, Monday
You make me want to crash my Hyundai
At a very high rate of speed into a large bed of kudzu

Monday
Still can't believe I spend fourteen-point-two-eight-five percent of my life on you, Monday
No seriously, it's really starting to depress me now, Monday
I wish there were eight days a week so it would only be twelve-point-five

Monday
In the history of the Gregorian calendar you've always been, Monday
I used to like Married With Children with Al Bundy
(Couldn't think of a line here that ended with live, or chive, or connive)

Monday
Why must you be so doggone Monday
I just googled "calculate the day of the week for any date in history" and realized I was born on a Monday...

Well... I suppose you're not all bad

"I was dreamin' when I wrote this. Forgive me if it goes astray..."

For my friend

If I took you for granted
I could not apologize enough
And if I kept you at a distance
Well, that's just how I've always been

And if we could have been something more than we are now
I cannot help but take my share of the blame
And my share is a lot

If I took you for granted
I could not apologize enough
And if I ever pushed you away
Well, that's just how I've always been

And if we could be something more than we are now
I cannot help but want to take that chance
If there is a chance to be taken

If I took you for granted
It was never my intention
And if I ever pushed you away
I don't want to anymore

And if it's too late
Well, that's just how I've always been

"Friends get scattered by the wind, tossed upon the waves, lost for years on end. Friends slowly drift apart, they give away their hearts, maybe call you now and then..."

April showers bring... something from the Bone-chives

I'm off to Cincinnati, where there is a 70-90% chance of rain all weekend. Hopefully, they'll be able to fit a baseball game in there somewhere. Even if there's a four-hour rain delay, the game doesn't end until midnight and there are only like fifty fans left in the stands, I'll be one of them. And there's a 100% chance of that.

This would have been a perfect opportunity for stop number two on the Blog Reality Tour. Unfortunately, I don't believe I link to any bloggers in Ohio. There used to be one in Kentucky, and maybe a couple in Tennessee, but I guess they've all found other ways to occupy their time.

I shall return on Monday. That is, unless a Reds scout notices my surprising athletic ability and the agility of someone fifteen years younger as I scamper to chase a foul ball, and they decide to hire me on the spot as a full-time ball boy. Or, ball man, whichever. Until then, and in honor of Earth Day, I am recycling a post.

It's poetry month over at Cooper's. (OK, so as I google it now, evidently it's National Poetry Month. Who knew!) So I figured I'd do a poem for one of my three posts this month.

I would never claim to write actual and decent poetry. I'm way too literal, and always end up feeling like somewhere the words have to eventually rhyme. I'm more of a lyrics guy. Lyrics without music, that's me. I think I would have collaborated well with Bobby McFerrin.

Now that I have hopefully lowered your expectations to a sufficient level, here is an attempt at poetry, originally posted in 2007:


Perfume hint caught
Memory sparked
That year I was in love

Eager heart leapt
Lesson relearned
Forever is but a word

Freely falling fast
Feeling remembered
And missed

Past replaces present
Eyes now tightly closed
Smile grazes lips

Midnight phone calls
Sultry afternoons
Slinky black dress

Past recedes to past
I'll always believe
I loved you best

"Ain't no sun. Ain't no blue sky. The wind blows cold now that you've gone away. And tomorrow, just like today, there's a hundred percent chance of rain..."

I remember January

I remember January
The cold and the gray
The fight we had
The sky so sad
It cried for us that day

I remember angry words
And no thing left unsaid
The icy stares
The way it tears
When you know love is dead

I remember January
Like it was yesterday
Praying for death
Gasping for breath
Watching you walk away

I remember darkness
I thought would never end
My cursed pride
Our last goodbye
Losing my only friend

I remember January
The loss and the regret
I remember
January
Because I can't forget

Someday

(This was inspired by the 3 Word Wednesday exercise. This week's words were: frequent, open someday)

someday waits on sun drenched sand
for lovers two
walking heart in hand
a lost and lonesome wind in search of sails

someday longs for stroke of pen
to close distance 'tween
long absent friends
someday sighs as stubbornness prevails

someday hopes and someday dreams
and forever someday frequent seems
promises someday often makes
yesterdays left in someday's wake

someday I'll make time for you
do all the things we meant to do
someday we'll go here and there
someday will be soon I swear

someday breaks in distant place
where promises are kept
and dreams are chased
father and son play catch in open field

"When you comin' home son? I don't know when. But we'll get together then. You know we'll have a good time then..."

Human

(Here's my entry for 3 Word Wednesday. This week's words are: cautious, human, maybe)

I've seen grand plans turn to nothing
Got good news out of the blue
Been called to my father's bedside
I know what prayer can do

I've said maybe when I meant no
And no when I meant yes
I've been not quite good enough
And once or twice I was the best

I've been cautious to a fault
And I've thrown caution to the wind
I've disappointed those I cared about
But I've tried to be a better friend

I've trusted way too easy
And put up insurmountable walls
Hated myself, been too full of myself
And wondered if I mattered at all

The candles on the cake don't lie
But it's so hard to believe
The mirror might betray me now
But inside I'm still nineteen

I've believed when there was no reason to
And I've gotten scared and run
I've learned words can't be unsaid
Deeds can't be undone

I've laughed until I cried
Tried to cry but no tears would fall
I've been too proud to pick up the phone
I'm not proud of that at all

I've cursed the skies for raining
And I've played in the rain
I'm still unable to forgive myself
For times that I've caused pain

I'm human
Wonderfully
Tragically
Only

Human

The Highway

There's a highway out of town and it can take you
Any place you want or don't want to go
I knew a girl who took it seven years ago last Sunday
And I ain't seen her since, the days can pass so slow

You can hear the cars on that highway from my window
And imagine where they're going as they fly by
I told myself a million times someday I would take it, too
But I'm still here 'cause a million times I lied

That highway took my best friend off to some cursed war
And they brought him home to us in a box with a flag
They told us he's a hero, but it just left me empty
Now each day I try to live the life he never had

They say you can chase your dreams down that highway
You can leave your past behind, or go to clear your head
I told myself a million times someday I would go chase mine
But dreams too long ignored just wind up dead

3WW #54

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, I will post three (or more) words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. I'll also attempt to write something using the same words.

Leave a comment if you participate. Many fun and interesting people might visit your blog.

This week's words are:
Caught
Eager
Perfume

Perfume hint caught
Memory sparked
That year I was in love

Eager heart leapt
Lesson relearned
Forever is but a word

Freely falling fast
Feeling remembered
And missed

Past replaces present
Eyes now tightly closed
Smile grazes lips

Midnight phone calls
Sultry afternoons
Slinky black dress

Past recedes to past
I'll always believe
I loved you best

"Most of what I remember makes me sure, I should've stopped you from walking out the door..."

3WW XLIV

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, I will post three (or more) random words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. I'll also attempt to write something using the same three words.

Leave a comment if you participate. Many fun and interesting people might visit your blog.

This week's words are:
Cope
Revealed
Stick

tepid hands tremble
heart pounds in head
eyes glazed over
refuse every tear

faucet turned on
noise needed
weakness revealed
my deepest fear

mirror cracked
still reflecting
glaring, ashamed
i cannot cope

fingers clench
muscles tighten
a single stick
in place of hope

"We're all looking for love and meaning in our lives. We follow the roads that lead us, to drugs or Jesus..."

3WW XLII

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday. Each week, I will post three (or more) random words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. I'll also attempt to write something using the same three words.

Leave a comment if you participate. Many fun and interesting people might visit your blog.

This week's words are:
Envelope
Negligible
Resent

envelope conceals paper folded
carefully chosen words penned
addressed, stamped, postmarked
fate is sealed

parcel ripped open carelessly
heart torn asunder instantly
words in red ignored
handle with care

resent not the messenger
the adage surely shant apply
when messenger and author
are the same

amid the ruins, one soul remains
feeling unloved, negligible
pen outduels sword
yet again

"Who needs a knife, when you can take someone's life, with paper and pen..."

3WW #24

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday.

Each week, I will post three (or more) random words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. This is a writing exercise. It doesn't have to be perfect. The idea is to let your mind wander and write what it will. I'll also attempt to write something using the same three words.

Be sure to leave a comment if you participate.

This week's words are:
Wilted
Drawer
Ink

The wilted countenance
The single tear
The last I ever
Brushed away

Letters in a drawer
Pictures in a box
But those in the heart
Fail to fade

The hollow rooms
The silent spaces
I once craved
Now serve to haunt

Pen to paper
I try to write
But the ink
Has all run out

My muse
Has gone

"You could be happy, and I won't know. But you weren't happy the day I watched you go..."

3 Word Wednesday #20

Welcome to Three Word Wednesday.

Each week, I will post three (or more) random words. Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to write something using all of those words. It can be a few lines, a story, a poem, anything. This is a writing exercise. It doesn't have to be perfect. The idea is to let your mind wander and write what it will. I'll also attempt to write something using the same three words.

Be sure to leave a comment if you participate.

This week's words are:
Fleece
Spark
Drift

Out here on the sea, my vessel a float. Beneath a painted sky with friendly clouds white as fleece. The sound of waves crashing more than enough to spark memories of you.

Knowing I should swim against the current. Closing my eyes, I begin to drift. Feeling every undulation of the ocean beneath me. Not caring where it takes me. Not wanting to wake up from this dream.

After awhile--a moment, an hour, a day or three--my vessel comes to rest. Opening my eyes, I find myself far downshore from where I started. The progress I had made, lost. And I begin to swim back out to sea, against the current. The salt in the water burning my eyes.

Water washes over footprints in the sand so no one knows I was ever there.

Too many days, I let the waves carry me where they will.

"The storms are raging on the rolling sea, down the highway of regret..."

Silver Pole

Today, December 15th, is the first-ever (as far as I know) Reveal Your Blog Crush Day, instituted by the prolific Ms. Sizzle. Click here to view the guidelines.

I am honored to have been mentioned by the lovely Mz. Circe. And to have been named Traveling Chica's 2006 Male Blog Crush! Thanks, gals. The blog love is reciprocated. You are two of my favorites, as you can probably tell from your site meters.

Last night, I thoroughly enjoyed The Office hour-long Christmas special, which I had been looking forward to way more than I should. Some quotes:

"I marked her arm."

"Permission to join the Validity Committee?"

"It's a bold move to Photoshop yourself into a picture with your girlfriend and her kids on a ski trip with their real father. But then again, Michael's a bold guy. Is bold the right word?"

"We're going to Asian Hooters."

"Bro's before ho's."

"You have been compromised. Abort mission. Destroy phone."

I've also begun to compose some songs for Festivus. Now, before you get too excited, I need to tell you that while the lyrics are mine, I kind of ripped off the tune.

Also, to add to the madness, I've included a clip of yours truly singing the Festivus song! There's no turning back now, babee! (Keep in mind I've had no formal vocal training. I'm more of, what you might call, a lyrical stylist.) But without further adieu, I present:

A Festivus song by Bone.

Silver Pole
(Words by Bone. Sing to the tune of Silver Bells, pretty much.)

all these worksheets
grievance worksheets
lined with blanks yet to fill
in the air there's a feeling of terseness
there'll be laughing
people shouting
maybe a marriage will end
and in the midst of the room, you will see

silver pole (silver pole)
silver pole (silver pole)
it's festivus in the city
tinsel free (tinsel free)
so sturdy (so sturdy)
soon it will be festivus

there'll be meatloaf
maybe pizza
at the festivus meal
after grievances aired hearts are heavy
then it's time for
feats of strength, it's
frank costanza's big scene
festivus won't be o'er till someone's pinned

('neath the...)
silver pole (silver pole)
silver pole (silver pole)
it's festivus in the city
tinsel free (tinsel free)
so sturdy (so sturdy)
soon it will be festivus

"You, you, you, you, you, you, you oughta know..."

Cliched

Someday you'll be loved
Someday you will find the one
Who cares just for your heart
Maybe then you can start

To put the past behind
Begin to heal the pain I caused
And bring peace to your mind
Cos that's what you deserve

Someday you'll be free
Free from all the hurt I brought
You down on bended knee
Calling out to me and there were

Tears streaking your face
That's how I remember you
It haunts me every night
But it only serves me right

Someday you'll be loved
And maybe then when I know that
I'll find my peace of mind
And start to forgive myself

Micah's Lullaby

Baby "Micah" was well over a month premature. She doesn't have parents. She doesn't even have a name. The woman who bore her took one look at Micah's physical deformities and told the doctor that wasn't her baby. When she left the hospital, she left Micah behind. Please remember Micah and those like her. Who will fight for the children? Who will help those who cannot help themselves?

I wrote this for Micah. May she grow to laugh and sing.

Baby Micah lies alone in a hospital bed
No one to sing her lullabies or caress her tiny head
And she has no idea of the things she'll face
She got here much too early, but I hope God lets her stay

Baby Micah may never know her mom or dad
But I pray she'll have love more than anyone ever had
I wonder why some kids have it so hard
Maybe she's an angel who fell down from the stars

Breathe, angel, breathe
And you will see the morrow
I'd give all I have to keep you
From all pain and sorrow

Breathe, angel, breathe
And you will be just fine
Thank you for reminding me
Life's one breath at a time

The Cows

I'm guest blogging again today at Courting Destiny. It's a post many of you have probably already read, as Pia picked her favorite story out of my archives. And it's about eight thousand times better than what I'm posting here today.

I think I started writing lyrics sometime in high school. There is a red folder in a bookshelf at my house which long ago came apart at the seams. It contains hundreds of these handwritten lyrics. And a very large majority of them are, admittedly, crap.

Today, I've decided to share one of these early lyrics with you. It's your basic story of small town love lost. Hopefully, it will be good for a laugh. And hopefully, my writing has shown at least slight improvement since... this.

Now, for your reading pleasure, I present Bone, before he was famous. It's called "The Cows."

One little phone call, and I took the big fall
In love with the girl of my dreams
Her name was Julie, she was a cutie
Sweetest thing I'd ever seen
One night in the pasture, I turned and I asked her
How long her love would go on
She promised she'd stay, until the day
The cows finally come back home

Well the cows will be comin' home tonight
She left me today, just drove out of sight
She never said forever
But I thought her love was gonna last that long
And now that she's gone
I guess the cows will be comin' home

One little mistake, was all she could take
She was gone in the blink of an eye
She didn't cry, gave no reason why
Never even told me goodbye
Thought we'd stay together, forever and ever
But she said I took it all wrong
She said she never, did say forever
Only till the cows come home

And the cows will be comin' home tonight
She left me today, just drove out of sight
She never said forever
But I thought her love was gonna last that long
And now that she's gone
I guess the cows will be comin' home

It'll be good to see 'em
I've kinda missed those bovine since they've been gone
I won't be alone for very long
Cos tonight, the cows are comin' home...

pour down

rain sliding off the rooftops
hardly anybody on the street today
anybody who is is running for cover
except for me, but i'm not exactly sane

i ain't worried about getting wet
that's the least of the thoughts in my head
i'm just thinking about what we had
what we did and what we said

pour down on me
wash these blues away
cleanse my soul and my memory
make me forget
on my knees i pray

thought of stopping at a payphone
then i realized who i would call
gave my change to a homeless man instead
then emptied my pockets and gave him all

pour down on me
wash these blues away
cleanse my soul and my memory
make me forget
on my knees i pray

and i stare at the lights in the windows
and i wonder what secrets they hold
and i know i've done bad bad things
all i'm asking for is one more chance now

"I've loved like I should, but lived like I shouldn't. I had to lose everything to find out..."

She was

She was smiling mostly
She was crying sometimes
She was the kind to dance out in the rain

She was a thousand sunsets
Out over the ocean
She was a lot of joy, a lot of pain

She was right sometimes
She was wrong mostly
She was carefree and full of life

She was mine briefly
She was free always
She was never gonna be my wife

She was a friend sometimes
She was a lover always
She was the best and worst I ever had

She was nights of passion
She was lazy Saturdays
She was always bound to leave me sad

"It's aggravating. How you threw me on and you tore me out. How your good intentions turned to doubt. The way you needed time to sort it out..."

Sleep

Tonight will be the first night we won't talk
I'll wonder where you are
I'll wonder if you're wondering about me
I'll try to sleep
But sleep won't come

Tonight I know I'll lie awake in bed
I'll do my best to forget
But thoughts of you will keep running thru my head
I'll try to sleep
But sleep won't come

Tonight I know that time is going to crawl
I'm sure I'll pace the floor
And notice things I never noticed about these walls
I'll try to sleep
But sleep won't come

Tonight will be the first night we won't talk
I'll wonder where you are
I'll close my eyes and see you in his arms

And I'll try to sleep

"And there'll be no rest for these tired eyes. I'm marking it down to learning..."

Safe

push you away
and slowly
you come back to me

i need your space
your indifference
it comforts me

you've never seen
my best face
never seen me shine

i could leave this
but i'll stay
think i'd miss your voice

if this is nothing
don't tell me
i'm good at fooling myself

if this is something
be careful
i'm no good at things that don't end

"That's all that I need. Yeah, someone else to cling to. Someone I can lean on until I don't need to..."