Today is the day!
Occasionally I wonder if people get tired of reading the same old things here on ye olde blog. Especially when every weekend lately is the same old thing: football, girls, and golf. I mean, seriously, anymore golf and I'd have to change the name of my blog to Greenside Chats With Bone.
Besides, there's more to life than that, right? There's video games and Seinfeld and... well anyway. In an attempt to change things up and show another side of this bachelor you know as Bone (but mostly because I was craving something sweet), I added another element to my weekend.
Friday, I attempted to make some cookies. Unfortunately, I was on the phone while making them. Bad idea. Let's see, how shall I describe the end result? Have you ever bitten into a stick? Well, they were dryer than that.
By the way, on a completely unrelated note, did you know peanut butter can go bad? Sure, it might take a few years, but trust me, it can happen. Who knew!
I also went to the driving range Friday, then spent the rest of my evening watching the South Florida/West Virginia game and image googling Hope Solo. Hey, I gotta fit girls in there somewhere.
One might think that would have been the highlight of my weekend. Think again. Little Joe and I went to play golf Sunday afternoon. I was standing behind my car when he pulled up and opened his door. His radio was blaring "Bad" by Michael Jackson.
My first instinct was to say, "Turn that down before someone hears!" You know, because that's what I do anytime I'm jamming to George Michael or Bobby Brown and I think someone might be able to hear. But I kept my mouth shut. I mean, you take away a man's music, you take away his spirit, his will to live.
As we were walking towards the clubhouse, LJ informed me that he had come across an old Casey Kasem countdown on the radio and that's what he was listening to. Friends, at that moment, I wanted to suggest that we skip golf entirely and just sit in the car together listening to AT40 with Casey. But I felt that would be socially unacceptable, so we golfed.
Sunday night, not to be defeated by my earlier misadventure, I tried making cookies again. Except I didn't have enough of the required ingredients remaining, so I decided to halve the recipe.
Well, I'm not sure if I got confused with the fractions or if some recipes just aren't meant to be halved. I mean, do you halve the cooking time, too? Suffice it to say I was 0-for-2 on baking this weekend. I guess lessons learned during my one semester in 8th grade home ec have been forgotten.
I feel much more at home on the patio. So last night, I grilled, trading in my wooden spoon for tongs and an oven mitt. Apparently, the King of Pop isn't the only one who performs better with one glove.
"And the whole world has to answer right now just to tell you once again, who's bad.."
Talking on the phone and baking should be left to the experts. like me
ReplyDelete"Apparently, the King of Pop isn't the only one who performs better with one glove." love it.
ReplyDeleteIt's those little one liners that keep me coming back to this "old blog" post after post. I wonder, would we ever be so lucky to have an entire post dedicated to one liners (in the form of pickup lines) that you've used (heard)?
"I mean, you take away a man's music, you take away his spirit, his will to live."
ReplyDeleteSo true... I sometimes wonder about my boyfriend's taste in music, but hey.... I only have to listen to it in his car, so what do I care? :)
ps. You should probably start your baking career with those packages of already made cookies that you break apart and put on a sheet in the oven. Just as good, and no measuring involved! :)
Friday, I attempted to make some cookies. Unfortunately, I was on the phone while making them. Bad idea.
ReplyDeleteThat must have been some phone call phone *er* I think you should share :)
My first instinct was to say, "Turn that down before someone hears!" You know, because that's what I do anytime I'm jamming to George Michael or Bobby Brown and I think someone might be able to hear.
LOL I understand. I found myself singing along to Faith a couple of weeks ago and was HORRIFIED when it was over and done with. Never again, never again.
I wanted to suggest that we skip golf entirely and just sit in the car together listening to AT40 with Casey. But I felt that would be socially unacceptable, so we golfed.
ROFL
My favorite line in this whole thing. Hilarious, Bone, hilarious.
(Though I have to admit, sometimes I wonder about your definition of “socially acceptable” but that’s for another time.)
Apparently, the King of Pop isn't the only one who performs better with one glove.
It’s quite alright that I was laughing and saying “ewwwwwwwwwwww!” at the same time, right? Excellent :)
Another funny look into a bachelor’s life… why aren’t bachelorette’s lives as exciting?? Hmmm... maybe it's just Bone's life that is that funny...
I'm sorry...all the baking I do on my blog drove you to this, didn't it? Do I need to deliver you some cookies? Muffins? Or perhaps cupcakes?
ReplyDeleteAnd if your peanut butter's going bad, you're buying the wrong brand. Peter Pan is so good that I eat it with nearly everything...it doesn't last long enough to go bad here!
great post! sorry you still don't have any cookies...is there one of those bakeries near you? We have a place called the Cookie Jar...yum!
ReplyDeleteAnd YES! We do need a Kramer Reality tour here...only there wouldn't be much real about it since Kramer never lived here, huh? Maybe a John Elway or Joe Sagat (what's his last name anyway?) reality tour.
Try the premade cookie dough.
ReplyDeleteMelanie: Oh wow. That's a mess! But you're better now, right?
ReplyDeleteRight?
Charlotta-love: You mean like, "Here I am. Now what are your other two wishes?"
Hmm, that could take awhile to compose.
DCChick: Yeah, you just gotta leave it alone. It helps keep us sane, or something.
TC: I think if the truth were known, the number of people who sing along with George Michael would be much higher than you'd expect. Or at least that's what I tell myself.
Well, I just figured some people might think it odd for two thirtysomething males to be sitting in a car listening to Michael Jackson. Eh, society. Whatcha gonna do.
Jennifer: Um, let's start with cupcakes. That's my favorite! :) I just never use PB unless I'm baking, which obviously isn't too often.
Renee: Yes, but that defeats the purpose of not wanting to leave the house O:) And who the heck is Joe Sagat? lol
Hotpink: OK, so that's two votes for premade dough. I've made those before, but the only ones I currently have in my fridge have long passed the expiration date.
Ewwww, NO premade dough. I have Faith in you, Sir Bone. You can make cookies! I know it. Don't be a quitter.
ReplyDeleteAnd what exactly is wrong with listening to some Michael Jackson every once in a while. I readily admit to jammin' to some Can't Stop Til You Get Enough on my way to work the other day. Granted, my sunroof was closed, my windows were tight and I made sure to only hum when I passed other drivers . . lest someone read my lips. :)
As usual, hilarious post. You make it look so easy. . . and now I'm craving some master grill-work. Yummm burgers.
Please tell me the glove is not sequined... my son had a sequined glove -- once.
ReplyDeletePerhaps baking a pumpkin pie from a premade crust (frozen) and a can of pumpkin would be easier.. It is October after all, maybe the pumpkin gods were frustrated that you chose to make cookies... wait, that was September... Labor day falls in September, I don't think you were supposed to bake.
I don't think you should be on the phone while baking. Baking is concise. Cooking, you can kinda fudge it. Maybe you should invite the girls over to help you bake. Wouldn't it be more fun anyway?
ReplyDelete2 quick comments as a new reader.
ReplyDelete1. cookies that are that dry...just call them biscotti
2. i just have started learning how to golf and am totally mezmerized and obsessed with it. If you are ever in Mass and want to golf with a married woman Ha ha ha....look me up!
"Your butt is wide, well mine is too. You betta shut your mouth, or I'll sit on you."
ReplyDeleteoh, and hey, those refrigerated toll house cookies are a bachelor's best friend.
Renee- if we do the reality tour it comes with bagel pizzas made from bear claws and muffin stumps.
ReplyDeleteAvery Laine: There is absolutely nothing wrong with it at all, as long as no one else hears you. And it sounds like you've got that down pat
ReplyDeleteMarcia: No, it isn't. I had a zippered jacket in seventh grade.
I've never been a huge pumpkin pie fan. I did almost buy a pumpkin scented candle tonight, however. But I wound up choosing coconut instead.
Carnealian: Sadly, that advice could have helped me.
Mks: Oh, I'm not sure you'd want to golf with me. I still spend a fair amount of time looking for my ball :)
Thanks for the visit and the comment!
Sylvia: That's gotta be Weird Al.
Frozen burritos are my BFFs.
Now we've got a good group of Seinfeld referencers!
Sylvia, sure we can do the bagle pizzas...but don't let anyone on board with shaved chest.
ReplyDeleteBone: I don't know who Joe is...I just hear his name on the news...which is why I don't even really know his last name.
so now I've gotta throw a reality tour with pizza bagles and a sleepover for TC. This is getting tiring. whew!
Hmm, I forgot all about the cds today, was too busy with my mom's party. Will have to get them tomorrow...
ReplyDeleteNo, sweet Bone I for one have definiely not gotten tired of reading "the same old things" :)
And at least you tried to make 'real' cookies, I've only made premade dough cookies.
well there you have it - home ec rules once again :)
ReplyDeleteIf it would help, Renee, I'd be OK with bagel pizzas at the sleepover...
ReplyDeleteBone you live an exciting life. What more could a guy ask for- football, girls, and golf. You've covered everything, except food.
ReplyDeleteOh, I am definitely better now. I still don’t bake well, but I can certainly cook. Everyone gathers at my house on Tuesdays to eat. I like it b/c the rule in my house is if you cook someone else cleans. Since none of my friends or roommates can cook, I never have to clean the kitchen. We had breakfast last time. Next week I think some cubed steak, field peas, and mashed potatoes are in order and maybe just maybe some cornbread in my new cast-iron skillet that I got for my birthday. We keep the break apart cookies in the fridge and have one with dinner anytime we cook. You can put them in the toaster oven when you sit down to eat. By the time you are finished with dinner, you have desert! Voila!
ReplyDeleteGreat lines--girls, football, girls, beach, girls... all appropriate subjects, but skip the golf unless it's between golf and Kasey Top 40.
ReplyDelete"I mean, you take away a man's music, you take away his spirit, his will to live."
ReplyDeleteheh. ;)
I'm thinking maybe go for the pre-made batter for a bit until you get up the nerve to try your hand at cookie baking again. or maybe...try something super easy with less ingredients? you can do it!
I always bake just slightly less than what the cooking time calls for. I just saw a video on you tube for naked cooking lessons. Don't know if they serve your area though.
ReplyDeleteRenee: What if they're naturally hairless?
ReplyDeleteGirlFPS: Well thanks for saying that :) They had a special CD and DVD package when I bought it that was cheaper than buying the CD by itself.
Shelby: I knew I should have paid more attention, instead of writing rap lyrics with my four-color Bic.
TC: Should I institute one of those chat boxes on the sidebar? :)
OK Chick: Yes. Thank goodness for pizza delivery. And the grill.
Melanie: Oh, I like that deal! The least fun part about cooking is cleaning up after.
Sage: Very 'sage' advice, my friend.
Sizzle: Well, I'd made them before successfully. Just not in awhile. And definitely not this weekend.
Lass: Naked cooking lessons? Hmm. I really probably can't google that at work.
I mean, you take away a man's music, you take away his spirit, his will to live.
ReplyDeleteagreed...
Apparently, the King of Pop isn't the only one who performs better with one glove. I could make some really raunchy comments on this but I will keep them to myself...