Monday night has become my TV night. Or perhaps more accurately, TV hour. I typically order a pizza (and CinnaStix) and watch 24. For sixty minutes, I sit completely entranced by the television. Like Heather O'Rourke in Poltergeist. Taking breaks only during commercials to run upstairs and see if anyone has IM'd me or commented on my blog.
I enjoy simple things like that. It's something I look forward to each week. I enjoy being able to pop in a Seinfeld DVD and watch a couple of episodes anytime. Sitting in my underwear while "reading" the Reds games online. Staying out until 3:30 in the morning if I want to, like I did this past Saturday night. Or sitting up until 1 AM watching UFO specials on History Channel or A&E.
Although invariably that freaks me out. And if I go downstairs I constantly check the time to be sure I didn't suddenly lose five minutes during an abduction that I wouldn't remember anyway. And as I'm coming back upstairs, I run up the last few steps so that whatever might be downstairs can't catch me.
Sometimes I worry that I'm too used to this. Living alone. Being single. Dealing four hands of Texas Hold 'Em on my bed and playing them all myself. I think about it more and more as I get older. I enjoy being a bachelor. Honestly, I probably enjoy it more now than I did five years ago. That scares me a little. Am I so used to this that I could never get used to anything else?
Saturday, I talked to a friend who said she was flying to Orlando this week. And to Vegas next month. She made a remark about being single and taking advantage of it. I concurred. Saturday night, I found out a friend of a friend was getting a divorce. Scary stuff.
So I think I might stay here awhile longer.
Then I think back to... Walking in the park. Playing on the swings. Throwing frisbee. Laughing. Talking. Blue eyes. Road trip. Looking over and seeing she's fallen asleep. Having someone to put my arms around. Every day. Every night.
Then I think I could get used to that.
Besides, four-handed one-person Texas Hold 'Em isn't that fun. I wonder if she'd let me watch A&E.
"These are the days that make up the lifetimes. These are the clothes that I wear. And this is the only thing I wanted more than anything..."
What are you waiting on!
ReplyDeleteYes, singledom is wonderful. I'll miss it when it's gone. We all will.
But the trade-off is amazing, too.
Go get the one you want.
Sacrifice for everything.
Love is worth it.
Love is worth everything.
Even giving up a life you know and cherish.
GO! :)
PS - Stop watching those Alien ones . . I watched Sat night, too, and it even started to freak ME out a little.
I thought I was the only one who ran up the last few stairs to whatever was down there wouldn't get me. :) I look through closets before I go to sleep, too.
ReplyDeleteI often think that if I ever found "the one" that we'd have to live in adjoining houses, because I'm so stuck in my ways and used to things being the way, well, that I'm used to.
I often wonder the same things. Yet also, the older I get, the more ready I am to love someone. But, the pickier and more set in my ways I become.
ReplyDeleteI don't remember what it's like to be single. I only lived by myself for a little over a year before I had Zed. That was over 11 years ago. If I were to be by myself I'm sure I'd go crazy.
ReplyDeleteYou know, you can play Texas Hold 'Em online and it's more fun.
Scotty is a punk: I'm waiting on... um... a Seinfeld reunion? To finally get my own magazine/newspaper column? Annie Duke to go all in on me?
ReplyDeleteCarmen: I also have to sleep with the closet doors and bedroom door completely closed. They can't penetrate closed doors. Even though they're not locked :)
Tenacious and Terse: Exactly. So basically, this post could have been shortened to those two sentences :)
Lass: I know. I have a computer poker game. But no one ever bluffs on it, so it kinda sucks. What's the best website to play on?
i love that you check to make sure you haven't lost 5 minutes because of abduction. that's something i would do. ;)
ReplyDeletesingledom has its rewards but i am holding out that being with that one special person is worth surrendering.
I need your opinion as a bachelor here...
ReplyDeleteI know a guy who is 46 and still a bachelor. He likes to hang around (bar hopping, etc) with guys much younger than he is (although he looks younger than he is). I haven't heard that he's dated a woman since the 90's...doesn't mean that he hasn't, I just haven't heard about it.
And the kicker...he has recently decided to become a flight attendant when his previous job was outsourced.
I don't think I need to ask the question here, do I?
Hey Renee, think anybody could answer your question, but I had a neighbor that I thought was for years and he turned out so not to be, not that I would know
ReplyDeleteThe thing about being single for me is that I love it most of the time, and then there are the times when I really really hate it.
Have thought about next door apartments with a door that could be locked either way--like in a hotel, but that seems weird, even by my standards
You get used to what you have at the moment. It's a good thing to be comfortable where you're at right now - but also good to realize that there is more and that you'll be okay with whatever is next.
ReplyDeleteI ran up the stairs the other day (so the aliens couldn't get me) and I fell and got a bruise the size of a brick on my thigh - so now that I'm damaged goods and not worthy of their experiments, the aliens don't want me. That's what I tell myself anyway so I don't run up the stairs and hurt myelf anymore. ;-)
Oh, by the way - if you think that you'll miss your alone times doing what you want, when you want (when you're with someone) you can always encourage her outside hobbies (i.e. sports, shopping, night out with the girls, etc) so that you still have your time for yourself. I'm learning it helps. :-)
I'd let you watch A&E.
ReplyDeleteYou and your wife can come watch A&E at our house. It's one of our favorites.
ReplyDeleteBone- when you find her, you won't have to ask that question. Of course she will. If the answer is no, she isn't Florence. When BH and I fell in love, there were no habits that we had that didn't mesh with each other. It is simple perfect love. When it's real, it's real and wow.
Also, aliens can't get through 100% cotton or cotton blend sheets. Oh...and keep a glass of water by the bed and a spray bottle by your side at all times. They hate water. Would you prefer to be in the alien Zoo or the Circus?
Ms. Sizzle: I'm holding out hope for that as well.
ReplyDeleteRenee: Your comment made me laugh out loud. No, I don't think you need to ask any question. Not that there's anything wrong with that :)
Although I have friends who rarely date. Hang out mostly with other guys. People have asked me the question about them before. Uh, what was my point?
Pia: I tend to dislike singledom on holidays mainly. I like your idea.
Cindy: Yeah, I was thinking today. Whatever happens, I'm thankful I got to be single for awhile. A lot of people (around here at least) go straight from their parents' house to marriage. I think it's important to experience a little independence. You're missing part of life if you don't.
And, I have almost killed myself about twenty times on my stairs. The worst that's happened so far is some severe carpet burn, a knot on the head, and... something else. But my memory seems to be a little hazy. Why must I always run up the stairs?
Lindsy: Sure, you say that now ;-)
Dorothy: Thanks, I still believe in something magical.
And I gotta go zoo. They might put a woman in there with me. To get me to mate :)
When the right girl comes along, she'll fit right in and vice versa. Don't worry!
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's what I though... I wonder if anyone else who knows him thinks that. I doubt that he'll ever come out though...to many in his family wouldn't approve.
ReplyDeletenot that there's anything wrong with that.
ReplyDeleteI think the right person will fit into your lifestyle and you will have someone to watch A&E and the scifi scary stuff and play Texas Hold'Em with. Of course in a relationship, there are changes, but really, that person will match your lifestyle, share the same hobbies and what not and you don't think about being a bachelor or being a couple. With my hubby, I felt like I was spending time with a good friend that I fell in love with.
ReplyDeleteWe have our separate hobbies, we do our separate things...he's going out of town this weekend for a race and I'll have the house to myself. I go out of town with my friends to go on birdwatching trips.
It's all about balance.
Carnealian: I can't help but think it's going to be a big change.
ReplyDeleteRenee: Not at all. People's personal sexual preferences are nobody's business but their own.
Chickadee: I imagine some time apart occasionally is important.
I don't think you'll ever have to worry about any other status other than "single." Well, maybe "deceased," but that's it!
ReplyDeleteI just want to ask one question about your previous comment.
ReplyDeleteYou don't play online poker because no one bluffs. So you play alone? I'd love to watch you bluff yourself silly.
I can understand how you feel. And I know you'll be ready to not be single the minute she comes along.
ReplyDeleteIn my case, I miss those single days where I lived alone, and could do whatever I wanted to. I beg for some 'me time' but miss him when he's gone!
I guess it's just important to find a balance.
About the running up the last few stairs thing - I used to do that too! Funny!
As much as I enjoy some of the little things about being single, there's nothing better than the relationship I have now, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love knowing there's someone in this world (other than my kids) that loves me unconditionally, and that I always have someone to hold and love and share things with. It's a great feeling. At the same time, being a single person as you are, it would be inappropriate to sit around sad about being single. It's good that you're able to embrace that hand you're holding right now. Just from what I know of you, when "the" girl shows up in your lap, you'll love nothing more than being with her, and having the occasional boys night out :-) You're like Shrek (and onions!) you have layers, and being happily single right now is one of them :-)
ReplyDeletePeace out J-Dizzle!
Buzz: Thanks.
ReplyDeleteNaj: Haha. Good observation. I don't have a good explanation as to why I do that honestly.
Mappy: Yeah, I think it will be important for us to both have our alone time. Hopefully, she'll agree. Then again, what do I know.
Arlene: Shrek? I guess I'll have to go and rent that. Thanks for stopping by, Brizzle.
Wednesday is like that for me with Lost.
ReplyDeleteYou should enjoy being alone. Beside you win every hand in hold em right :)
Liz: Yes, I win every hand. But I also lose three times. So it's a trade-off :-)
ReplyDeleteWow. I just posted something akin to your post.
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to be able to grab a pizza on the way home, without having to make sure it is OK with anyone else. But sometimes, on rare occasions, it just plain sucks.
Good post man. Far better than my measley little one.
Big Man: Wow, that's odd. Very similar. Good post. Don't sell yourself short.
ReplyDelete