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Monday, March 07, 2005

You are sooo good-looking!

Rocky 4 was on TBS yesterday, leading me to say this to a friend: "Well, hey, I gotta turn back over to Rocky 4. Apollo's about to die." I mean, come on, you can't miss that. Saw two really good Seinfelds yesterday, and I haven't done this in awhile, so I figured I'd recount some of my favorite lines.

The Good Samaritan
What a great episode. George's "God bless yous", Becke Gelke, Elaine's fake romance with the bullfighter Eduardo Carrochio, and Kramer's wild seizures at the sound of Mary Hart's voice. Speaking of Becke Gelke, why do girls look so cute in sweat pants?

Elaine: Jerry saw this guy crash into a car and he followed him.
Kramer: Good for you! What kind of a sick lowlife would do a thing like that? You know, those people, you know they're mentally disturbed. They should be sent to Australia.
Jerry: Australia?
Kramer: Yeah, yeah, that's where England used to send their convicts.
Jerry: But not anymore.
Kramer: No.

George: I said "God bless you." Was that so wrong?
Jerry: The question is, did you allow a space for the husband to come in with his "God bless you," because as the husband, he has the right to first refusal?
George: Yes, yes, I definitely waited. But let me say this, once he passes on that option, that "God bless you" is up for grabs.
Jerry: No argument. Unless she's one of these multiple sneezers, and he's
holding his "God bless you" in abeyance until she completes the series.
George: Well I don't think she is a multiple sneezer, because she sneezed
again later, and it was also a single.

Jerry: You know, if you want to make a person feel better after they sneeze, you shouldn't say "God bless you," you should say, "You're soo good lookin."

The Bizzaro Jerry
My favorite part is where Jerry is out with Man-hands and she opens his beer, and he's like, "It's not a twist-off." And then she gets an eyelash off his face with her finger and she's like, "Make a wish." So he closes his eyes, opens them back up, looks at her hands and is like, "Didn't come true." Hilarity!

Jerry: She had man-hands.
Elaine: Man hands?
Jerry: The hands of a man. It's like a creature out of Greek Mythology. I mean, she was like part woman, part horrible beast.
Elaine: Would you prefer it if she had, no hands at all?
Jerry: What, would she have hooks?
Elaine: Do, uh, do hooks make it more attractive, Jerry?
Jerry: Be kinda cool lookin'.

Jerry: Kramer?!
Kramer: Hey, buddy.
Jerry: It's eight o'clock in the morning. What's going on?
Kramer: Breakfast. I gotta be in at Brandt-Leland by nine.
Jerry: Why?
Kramer: Because I'm workin' there, that's why.
Jerry: How long have I been asleep? What year is this?
Kramer: Jerry, I don't know if you've noticed, but lately I've been drifting, aimlessly.
Jerry: Now that you mention it!

"I remember Sunday mornings, walkin' on the beach, and that place we'd stop for breakfast with the old red vinyl seats. The hours of the tide chart. The way the sunlight danced upon your face..."

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