tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-60069532012-02-03T10:40:44.234-06:00If You Read Only One Blog This YearThe past is gone but something might be found to take its place...Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.comBlogger15911100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-87078056280745071232012-01-18T22:09:00.001-06:002012-01-18T22:09:31.727-06:00Where have you gone to, Jimmy Wales?
The internet died today. Well, dead to me anyway.
Wikipedia, yon
bastion of free knowledge, shut its virtual doors today. For 24
hours. That may not sound like much to you. But to me, it's eighty-six
thousand, four hundred elongated seconds of nothingness. Outer
darkness, where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.
Wikipedia has become my source for all knowledge of all things. Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-72596065898188727892011-12-09T08:55:00.000-06:002011-12-09T10:27:04.888-06:00When second base was but a distant dreamThis is what I like to consider a motivational post. Not really for you, but rather to hopefully motivate me to post something else soon so that this one doesn't remain at the top of the page.
Travel back with me if you will, to a simpler time: 1989. Tone-Loc was in his prime. I may or may not have still been tight-rolling my 550 Levis. And I didn't know nearly as much about girls as I do Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-63982636954014634522011-11-17T23:30:00.000-06:002011-11-18T08:45:27.588-06:00This could be you (if you weren't famous)Sometimes I like to imagine celebrities are watching my life and thinking, "This would be me if I weren't famous."
After
all, that's pretty much what this blog is -- a reality show in
writing. I remember back when we first began this, I did an interview
with the local paper about blogging. No, really, I did! Why does no
one ever believe me anymore when I tell that story? I thought the Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-67103731573185700892011-11-09T12:44:00.001-06:002011-11-09T12:44:40.767-06:00Labor painsIn an uncertain world, isn't it comforting to know there are certain inalienable truths about guys you can always count on?
For example, we prefer long hair. (That doesn't mean we hate your short hair, it just means we like long hair better.) We despise asking anyone for directions and consider getting lost a much more attractive option. We forget things. (Or sometimes just don't pay Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-46491140895184391312011-11-01T22:06:00.001-05:002011-11-03T09:13:53.938-05:00Wayfaring strangerThe prodigal blogger has returned. He who was lost hath been restored to the ninety and nine. So if you happen to be a shepherd, you should probably be rejoicing about now. And if you're a father who has a son in his late thirties who's been missing for a few weeks, then by all means make a feast and kiss me. On second thought, the feast will do just fine.
I sorely miss writing. And hope toBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-33848353618203707492011-10-12T09:48:00.000-05:002011-10-12T09:48:33.054-05:00More to loveWhat did you do this summer? Travel? Swim? Tan? Work? Post four thousand Facebook statuses? Nothing?
Well, that's all better than what I did.
I, Bone, gained weight. Between the months of April and September, I packed on not nine, not ten, but ELEVEN pounds. Thus putting me at the heaviest weight of my life. Which would be great if I were a boxer and trying to move up a weight class, Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-80929624487253510752011-09-22T11:41:00.000-05:002011-09-22T12:28:39.637-05:00This is really hardI never thought I'd love that way again.
The year was 1993. I wasn't long out of high school. There were tears in my eyes when the burly bartender I'd been seeing for several years came to the door and said, "Cheers is closed."
A part of me died that day. A part of me that was young and innocent, idealistic and hopeful. But somehow I managed to pick up the pieces and move on from my firstBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-46778308702308823662011-09-16T11:14:00.000-05:002011-09-16T11:23:12.499-05:00Superfan & The Rooftop CaperFor some reason, the 8-month-long wait for college football seemed to drag on even longer than usual for me this year. Maybe it was the constant negative off-season news about college football -- which is kinda like having your friends bring up your ex-girlfriend every single time you're around them. It makes you think of her and miss her, all the while knowing you can't have her. Or maybe it Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-6491154298143400272011-09-08T23:53:00.003-05:002011-09-09T06:38:59.616-05:00Somewhere between summer and fallFall came suddenly to Alabama this year. Not with its usual tap-on-the-shoulder, whisper-in-your-ear hint of a chill in the air. But rather much more pronounced. Thanks to Tropical Storm Lee, temps went from 97 to 60 in what seemed like a day.I spent the Labor Day weekend as I believe it was intended: avoiding labor at all costs. Monday night, I put on a sweatshirt and watched the sun set Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-59840268571217684162011-08-31T11:39:00.002-05:002011-08-31T12:05:32.974-05:00Decemberists at the Ryman (8/6/11)I was late to the Decemberists party. Then again, I'm late to a lot of things. Most times I'm just thankful (and slightly amazed) when I manage to arrive at all. When I saw they were playing at the Ryman -- quite possibly my favorite venue -- it seemed I was destined to go.
But then, I realized none of my friends around here like and/nor have even heard of the Decemberists. For crying out Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-32957399970332871342011-08-23T23:40:00.000-05:002011-08-24T00:38:57.175-05:00I have experienced a year's worth of socialization in four daysThe past few days brought a barrage of social activity to my life, the likes of which I have not seen quite possibly ever.
There were the annual toddler birthday rounds to make. You know, the cake and pull-up mixers. (We're 3 now, we've moved on from diapers.) But separate and apart from those, I managed to socialize with four different friends in three different settings. I had kinda Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-79340587498619138982011-08-15T23:53:00.004-05:002011-08-16T06:27:57.303-05:00Rockin' RobinFrom the get-go, Twitter sounded like a verb I may have tried doing to a girl once when I was nineteen mistakenly thinking she would enjoy it. I never really saw the point. Of Twittering, that is.
Who wants to read someone else's every waking thought of every single day? Well, apparently 2,687,219 people, if the someone else is Snooki.
Also, I have always been afraid of saying something in Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-85803384319658016872011-08-10T22:41:00.001-05:002011-08-16T00:28:24.291-05:00NaBloSoFroDraWe 2011It's that time of the year again. Time for the week you thought you'd forgotten about, but someone just won't let you. Time for the blogging project that has ruined you for all other blogging projects.
It's National Blog Something From Draft Week!
Begun in 2008, NaBloSoFroDraWe (also known as NaBloSoThaDraWe) encourages bloggers everywhere to select something they've written in the past, Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-51894067007916528842011-08-06T16:24:00.004-05:002011-08-07T15:42:19.944-05:00"The summer swells anon..."Summer swelters on, but I can already feel it leaving. It's nothing in the air, just the having been here before and knowing the shorter days always seem to be hurrying August away almost before it arrives.I kept thinking it was October yesterday. I even typed "October 5th" on something. Not sure why I was confused. Perhaps it was the nasty freak (not to be confused with Freak Nasty) storm Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-38149762665919586852011-08-02T08:31:00.002-05:002011-08-02T09:12:58.281-05:00Closing the book on deforestationI have come to a decision.And you should know decisions often do not come easy for me. In fact, I may take anywhere from six months up to five years or more deciding on such life-altering matters as whether to buy a new phone, whether to get a DVR, or whether to attend a concert. In the case of the latter, sometimes the concert will pass before I decide, and I wind up not even having to make a Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-75614894117558549502011-07-24T21:31:00.001-05:002011-07-24T21:34:06.678-05:00Dashboard confessionalThe Jeep hit a milestone Thursday. And apparently, I thought no one would believe me if I just told them? Why else would I take a picture? What? I had to slow down to take the picture. Because while texting and driving is now against the law in our increasingly totalitarianistic state, as far as I know taking pictures while driving is not.One hundred thousand miles. Or by my rudimentary Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-32587872667440912832011-07-17T22:36:00.001-05:002011-07-17T22:37:37.210-05:00"Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale..."Sherwood Schwartz passed away this week, to not a lot of fanfare. A simple mention on the CNN scroll and a blurb on Google news mentioning his two greatest accomplishments: that's exactly how I hope to go.And while we could spend hours, yea, weeks debating what my two greatest accomplishments are, or even if "accomplishment" is the right word, for now let's stay focused.Sherwood Schwartz. I Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-82035951056786641932011-06-24T22:14:00.001-05:002011-06-24T22:14:36.907-05:00On hype, potential, and lawn sportsHe was the golden boy of American tennis when he burst onto the scene around the turn of the century. He came along right around the time the careers of Andre Agassi and Pete Sampras were reaching their twilight years. And it seemed he would assume his rightful place as the heir of American tennis hopes. For a little while.I'm speaking, of course, of Andy Roddick. The Nebraska kid with the Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-6267581278547122702011-06-14T21:44:00.000-05:002011-06-14T21:52:27.537-05:00I can't tell you why(My Les Paul/Google effort. It was either that, Jingle Bells or Three Blind Mice.)Spring is the new summer here. Although I'm not sure what that makes summer. And because I spend way too much time looking at the weather almanac online, I know that today was our eighteenth day in a row over 90 degrees. I have managed to golf a couple of times during the oppression. Nearly shot the temperatureBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-58524694321756727462011-06-08T23:10:00.001-05:002011-06-08T23:14:54.676-05:00There is no joy in Port CharlesWe now interrupt what I had originally planned to post for today, which was nothing, to bring you a matter both of extreme importance and immense sadness.The news came yesterday, in an email from a trusted friend. Her words: "I wanted you to hear it from me first." I clicked the link. My heart sank when I saw the headline:Curtain To Fall On GHI wanted to believe it wasn't true. That somehow Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-56686198475607136062011-05-28T23:31:00.003-05:002011-05-29T00:50:51.863-05:00Gone coastalI'm back from my soul's vacation, my at-least-annual experiment in latitude reduction resulting in a slight, if mostly imperceptible, clearing of mind and refreshing of body. I have returned from my paradisical pilgrimage to the world's largest sandbox, where I enjoyed the never-ending symphony of Crashing Waves, an aging nature surf band -- it's an obscure genre.In other words, I'm home from Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-36933598624051329272011-05-15T22:36:00.007-05:002011-05-15T22:54:38.916-05:00One fish, two one fishThursday afternoon, I went fishing at Dad's. As I think back on it, I'm reminded of some grand old country song lyrics from yesteryear. To paraphrase slightly, Bone's daddy was takin' him fishin' when he was (thirty-)eight years old...It's the first time I'd been fishing in 15 or 20 years. The last, and only, time I fished with any regularity was back in high school. A group of us guys used Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-86539767799793259802011-05-08T17:25:00.001-05:002011-05-08T18:28:30.079-05:00Still my favorite Mother's Day video everFor somewhat obvious reasons, even though it's not technically a Mother's Day video: As I get older, Mother's Day, like so much else in life, comes to mean a lot more. Thanks, Mom, for the skinned knees (that is, bandaging them, not causing them); pushing me to succeed and loving me even if I failed; for being the loudest parent in the stands at every single little league baseball game I ever Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-7523191656375778222011-05-05T23:08:00.002-05:002011-05-06T07:03:04.734-05:00April 27, 2011For me, that Wednesday began with a 5:20 wake-up call from Dad. Unexpected, but not surprising."You awake?""Uh, yeah.""You need to watch this weather. They say it's gonna get bad today."It was only ten minutes until I'd normally get up, so I turned on the TV and saw there were already warnings out west of us. Five minutes later while I was in the shower, my phone rang again. Turned out to be Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-34621570979111012252011-04-26T22:17:00.000-05:002011-04-26T23:17:30.473-05:00I'm not sure I remember how to do thisIt's been awhile. I'd like to tell you I have a great reason for being absent, like I quit my job and have been under the tutelage of David Gibson in preparation for this year's World Scrabble Championships. But I have no grand reason. No excuse.Although my hours at work changed a few weeks ago. I now have to be in at Brandt-Leland each morning by 6 AM. It's kinda thrown my whole routine offBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-89404291844621771972011-03-27T20:05:00.005-05:002011-03-27T22:10:16.860-05:00It's all in the name?I was three days with no Internet last week. It was rough, I'm not gonna lie. I know men have probably overcome more, but few if any have worked harder in relation to their normal productivity output. I spent about fifteen hours trying to diagnose and fix the problem with my router, which is quite possibly the most time I've spent on any one thing ever, by about fourteen hours.During this Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-2867477373025180812011-03-22T19:13:00.001-05:002011-03-22T20:27:59.720-05:00...And the pursuit of cotton twillOne of my lifelong pursuits -- I have about eight or nine of them -- is to make the Late Show With David Letterman weekly online top ten contest. Here's how it works: Each week, they post a new category. Anyone is free to enter. Their "judges" then choose the ten "best" submissions to make the online top ten list. Winners get a free Late Show t-shirt and have their joke published on the Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-26923236047952918942011-03-11T23:37:00.001-06:002011-03-12T00:20:26.309-06:00Carrying a torchWhat does Bone's title refer to today? Oh, well, let's see, it could be anything. It could refer to the Olympics. An old flame, maybe. Or perhaps his new blowtorch side business. All are stimulating possibilities. They're also all wrong.Today's title refers to my latest foray into the world of technology. After three-and-a-half years, two roller balls and three batteries with my previous Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-90543091538137743272011-03-02T23:31:00.002-06:002011-03-03T08:28:02.582-06:00Not as fun as it soundsMy spring golf and social season has gotten underway. I know what you're thinking -- the toddler birthday party circuit, right?. No, that's the FALL social season. Try and keep up.I've got a wedding to go to Saturday. This past weekend was the couple's coed shower. Not as fun as it sounds. But as this was my second coed shower, I knew what to expect, thus avoiding the initial disappointmentBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-581535948839707922011-02-13T23:16:00.001-06:002011-02-14T13:05:17.911-06:00Three words every guy wants to hearIn this time of impending VD and on this, my second day of being thirty-eight, I have decided to reach back into the annals of 2010 and share a story with you. It's not quite a tale of love unrequited. Heretofore untold because, well, it's hard to fit everything in when you only blog twice a month.It happened on a Thursday morn. I specifically remember that because the night before had been a Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-77841827769433336492011-02-03T22:40:00.002-06:002011-02-03T22:42:06.549-06:00Guitar hero?I pulled into the parking lot, got my guitar out of the back seat, and started walking towards the door in the rain. It felt like a scene out of a movie, about some drifter, playing the honky-tonk scene, who ruins his relationship with the only girl who will ever love him by drinking too much.And in that instant, I was a guitarist. Of course, in reality, I'm not (yet) a guitarist, I've never Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-51244999022565406662011-01-31T23:54:00.004-06:002011-02-01T10:11:05.393-06:00Here comes the sun(Congratulations to my friend, Pia, from Courting Destiny. She is now blogging for Psychology Today. And you can read her first post here. It makes me proud to see a former Roast-A-Bone host going on to bigger things.)The sun came out Saturday. It was 72 degrees here. And just like that -- although the calendar wouldn't agree for three more days -- for me, January was over. Thus ending whatBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-16091213927553115032011-01-26T22:53:00.002-06:002011-01-26T23:25:40.625-06:00Dreaming in color, living in black and whiteTo say I'm not doing much these days would be a gross understatement. Or should it be overstatement? Whichever, it's definitely gross. The Januarys are in full force around here. I do feel inspired sometimes. But if I wait an hour, it usually passes.Meanwhile, I've been having wildly vivid dreams lately. One of my very recurring dreams is that I'm golfing but I can never quite get the ball Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-4517570645149709192011-01-17T23:29:00.002-06:002011-01-17T23:42:48.534-06:00Ode to Monday?MondayWhy must you be so MondayI dread you all day long on SundaySo because of you half my weekend is basically shotMondayWhy must you be so doggone MondayEvery week you're the same no fun dayWhat, suddenly I'm the Bangles now? Susanna Hoffs is kinda hotMondayI spend fourteen-point-two-eight-five-seven-one-four infinity percent of my life on you, MondayAnd that's just wrongMondayThe Mamas and theBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-2368219867672057962011-01-11T23:37:00.005-06:002011-01-12T12:12:53.788-06:00These are the great snows of my lifeAnother week, another blizzard. Sunday night brought eight inches of snow to our sleepy town. I feel like I'm getting used to the snow -- like this is the new norm. Monday morning, I drove into work for half a day. There were literally only two other cars on the road. I thought I did fairly well considering my limited previous experience (which includes both a 270-degree spin as well as the Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-91927127309818148832011-01-05T22:23:00.002-06:002011-01-05T23:18:54.571-06:00My one chance to meet Larry Bird and I blew itPlease pardon my (lack of) progress. I've been trying to decide whether to blog about the end of last year or look ahead to the new year. Took me five days to decide: enough dwelling on the past, I'm looking to the future. Therefore today, I do hereby resolve to be even less productive, less ambitious, to sleep even more and care even less in 2011. That's right, folks. Bone is mailing it inBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-85367807545422198472010-12-24T18:57:00.002-06:002010-12-24T23:54:22.288-06:00Christmas Eve, 1985Christmas has come too fast again. Not that I'm not ready for it to get here. I'm just not ready for it to be gone. I still remember when it didn't come very fast at all...In 1985, I was twelve and time was slow. Thirty seemed light years away and forty had never crossed my mind. It was impossible to imagine myself as an adult. Though some might tell you it still is.In 1985, both of my Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-38808293826149136652010-12-22T10:33:00.001-06:002010-12-22T10:35:11.253-06:00While visions of lap desks danced in his head...Every year while Christmas shopping, I usually wind up buying a gift or two for myself. After all, isn't that what the holidays are all about? No? Well, forget I said that. Anyway, I'd done really well this year, not buying myself a single thing. Until last week.That's when I discovered what is quite possibly the greatest invention since the automatic paper towel dispenser: the lap desk. Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-8982890307764121462010-12-14T23:48:00.002-06:002010-12-15T08:48:13.735-06:00Snow, patrolI'm not sure wherefore to beginneth today. Dost I tellest thou about my latest run-in with the law (yes, I'm serious), or my real-life Christmas movie moment?I'm guessing you want the deets on my most recent legal troubles first. So here goes. It was Friday night and we were putting up my Christmas tree. Or as they say on the streets, laying down evergreen on a vertical tip. I had TSO Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-79898581099297085322010-12-08T23:35:00.003-06:002010-12-09T08:13:07.871-06:00The day I met Larry DavidI have an announcement to make. No, nobody's pregnant. Why does nobody ever guess that?I have gathered you here today to announce that for the first time in my life, I have... wait for it... a laptop.It's a hand-me-down, which was pretty much dead. So I guess that makes it more of a throwaway. Remember when you were young and you would cruise the city streets looking for an old couch someone Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-46387913702905644972010-12-03T10:59:00.006-06:002010-12-09T19:14:49.876-06:00The pilotYou guys really have me thinking about this reality show idea. I've been trying to figure out who I would get to narrate it. While Bill Curtis might seem like the obvious choice initially, I'm afraid he might be a bit too dramatic. You know, for a reali-com. (I just invented that term.)I'm thinking maybe Mark-Paul Gosselaar. After all, he is the man who gave me the best nine minutes of my life. Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-77861771355322658832010-11-28T23:36:00.005-06:002010-11-29T00:14:47.855-06:00I'm all thumbsAs much as I have considered granting unrequested permission to TruTV to feature my life on the first-ever blogger reality show (to be aired right after Forensic Files, of course), even I must admit there are issues to consider.First off, is there enough interesting material in my life to even fill an hour a week? Secondly, I'd most likely have to wear pants around the house. Then of course, Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-59523912360072978812010-11-17T21:56:00.002-06:002010-11-18T10:45:52.948-06:00'Bout a ghost from a wishing wellIt happened one night near summer's end. We were driving across some state somewhere. I don't remember where we had been or where we were going, which by the way is a pretty good rule of thumb for my entire life. I had been making good, some might say excessive, use of the seek button, and had settled for a moment on a station that was playing some older, classic-type country music.A song cameBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-42635672831199566222010-11-11T23:51:00.001-06:002010-11-12T08:12:54.131-06:00'Wave, goodbyeMy microwave, the one I've had since the day I left home, is gone. Well that's not entirely true. It's still sitting on the counter, but like a girlfriend you've insulted one too many times, it's no longer putting out.It happened Monday before last. I was six minutes into an eight-to-ten minute baked potato when I stopped it for a routine check. When I tried to start it back up, there was Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-678909560944344312010-11-05T23:28:00.006-05:002010-11-06T01:32:56.496-05:00How 'bout getting off of these antibioticsThe week started out well enough. It was Bone's first-ever attempt at an Halloween party. Though there was some pause given on whether to have the fiesta on Saturday or Sunday night, as Halloween fell on Sunday and I don't know how it is where you're from but in Alabama Sunday night is church night. As is Wednesday night. So towns, cities and churches debated on whether to declare Saturday Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-61167433898844622502010-10-28T16:24:00.007-05:002010-10-28T16:48:32.917-05:00MatchesMost days the days all run together. I preoccupy myself with the unimportant things in life. Things are mostly fine, except when they're not. Work is work, and the weather's always the weather. Tuesday's not much different from Friday. And January feels a lot like July. But one day every once in a while, I'll gaze out over the water, to the other side of the river, and wonder about you. I Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-86030164493612594482010-10-20T23:12:00.003-05:002010-10-21T00:19:11.290-05:00Boys night outI have a possible replacement for the Darryls. I know, it's quick. But it's someone I've known for a couple of years. We hung out this weekend and I need to see what you guys think about him. (And by "you guys," I pretty much mean, "you girls plus Sage and Ed.")OK, I can't keep up the suspense any longer. It's Nephew Bone. We hung out Friday night for a couple of hours. It was BYOG. (Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-42519013124832480342010-10-03T23:25:00.003-05:002010-10-03T23:55:58.027-05:00A wedding and a funeralThe Darryls have passed away.Time of death was around 2:15, Saturday, September 25th. That's when the onset of wedded bliss stole the last gasps of air from Independent Wolfgang. Though honestly, Independent Wolfgang had been on life support for quite awhile. I mean he hadn't played golf since the spring, for crying out loud.And without two Darryls, you really have no Darryls. It'd be like Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-88007164631395389952010-09-21T23:34:00.001-05:002010-09-22T00:28:06.428-05:00Tipped a canoe and rafting, tooWhy, hello there. I don't know where to start. This is almost awkward. Feels like we went on a date three weeks ago and I'm just now getting around to calling. So what's my excuse? I dunno, post-Blogust fatigue syndrome, maybe? Also, if work gets any more "fun" I'm pretty sure it will be in direct violation of the Geneva Convention. If it makes you feel any better, I've completely let my Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-40047347576372316312010-08-30T23:36:00.003-05:002010-08-30T23:43:36.809-05:00Angel Soft is NOTI was all set to begin a new feature here on IYROOBTY, Public Restroom Reviews. (I'm sure you're looking forward to that.) But that will have to be put on hold for the time being due to a more pressing issue. Recently, I was in the grocery store and among my items to pick up was toilet paper. My normal choice is Scott Extra Soft or Cottonelle. But lately my local store only sells Cottonelle Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-52750254235906421762010-08-25T23:41:00.003-05:002010-08-26T07:57:19.372-05:00In a parallel world...I'm afeared Blogust has lost its steam. Or maybe in some parallel universe somewhere Blogust still has its steam and I'm writing like a man possessed... with writing. I've decided to reassess and adjust my goals. Not that I don't still plan to someday set the world record for most consecutive games of Freecell won and run a half marathon -- although not in the same day, probably -- but I thinkBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-8370695706239266062010-08-19T10:50:00.003-05:002010-08-19T11:08:42.744-05:00Turning twoSaturday kicked off my busy fall social season, also known as the toddler birthday party circuit. Nephew Bone and I attended the first fall informal of the year, a birthday gala for the godson at Kywana's house. It was boys night out. Or, boys morning out, as he tends to get sleepy around 2 in the afternoon. And to be quite honest, so does his uncle.The godson officially turned two yesterday,Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-79736554524176461462010-08-16T10:55:00.003-05:002010-08-16T14:38:45.924-05:00On cases of interfaith marriageI have a crisis. You remember my friend Wolfgang, right? The Darryl who just got engaged? Well, as soon as he started dating this girl -- we'll call her Joy -- I began dropping subtle hints. Things like, "Just don't get married on the day of an Alabama game." OK, so maybe not so subtle. Whatever.So when he texted me "she said yes" I texted him back, presenting him with three different Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-58829227394148061332010-08-11T23:20:00.005-05:002010-08-12T02:06:15.069-05:00Lakeside revelationsI've discovered that I now divide the nation/world into regions by bloggers that I know. For instance, my dad is in North Carolina this week. North Carolina is (a) Sage's old stomping grounds and (b) near Pia. I refer to this as Geoblography. And that is the end of the Geoblography part of this post.In other keeping-tabs-on-my-parents-until-God-help-us-all-they-start-tweeting-someday news, weBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-19877147890063345522010-08-09T15:38:00.001-05:002010-08-09T15:39:21.408-05:00For my friendIf I took you for grantedI could not apologize enoughAnd if I kept you at a distanceWell, that's just how I've always beenAnd if we could have been something more than we are nowI cannot help but take my share of the blameAnd my share is a lotIf I took you for grantedI could not apologize enoughAnd if I ever pushed you awayWell, that's just how I've always beenAnd if we could be something more Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-91343312933364734382010-08-05T15:42:00.000-05:002010-08-05T15:42:23.036-05:00The time Google saved me 300 bucksBlogust rolls on. We're on our 4th consecutive day of over 100 degrees here. Don't tell anyone, but I secretly love the heat...One night last week on my way to go for a run, the keyless remote wouldn't unlock the car door. Shifting seamlessly into MacGyver mode, I used the key-shaped object attached to the remote and was somehow able to manually unlock the door. I figured maybe the battery in Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-50386347743844454002010-08-03T15:17:00.002-05:002010-08-03T15:20:16.846-05:00On the third day of Blogust...What? Two posts from Bone in four days? That can only mean one of two things: Either you've been joyriding in the DeLorean again and traveled back in time to 2005, or more likely, it's Blogust!!!That's right, blogging friends. It's the month you've all been waiting for. Time to celebrate and procreate. Or, just create. So string up the lights and light up the tree, I'll be writing like madBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-69597827374326925352010-07-31T22:19:00.000-05:002010-07-31T22:31:01.052-05:00Reminiscing at the speed of lifeOver the years, my earthly father has passed along to me morsels of wisdom and knowledge that only come with life experiences. Things such as the best place to be in a tornado warning is driving around in a car, never take a shower if it's thundering outside, and of course, if you're fishing from the bank and a snake swims by, the fishing trip is over five minutes ago. You can't put a price on Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-67721261515975788832010-07-20T22:41:00.002-05:002010-07-20T23:11:49.102-05:00A tough trimester, killer bees, and the bachelorhood loses one of its ownIt's been a banner week in the life of Bone. A banner ten days, actually. The second trimester, if you will, of July had a quite inauspicious beginning when I discovered I had left a virtually full pack of gum in the pocket of my shorts. That would have been fine, except that at the time of this discovery, said shorts had already gone through the washing machine and had been in the dryer for Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-46181944807526705102010-07-13T23:10:00.002-05:002010-07-14T08:58:12.598-05:00Into a cup, in the middle of the dayIt's the continuing saga of the struggle of one blog to survive. I think I'm ready to proclaim next month Blogust. I just hope we make it that long. In other news completely unrelated to my lack of blogging, my current FreeCell record is 353-28, while my most consecutive games won is 44.In attempting to recreate the 4th of July this year, I severely misunderestimated the difficulty in finding Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-30937166447500569812010-06-29T23:39:00.005-05:002010-07-01T12:45:26.020-05:00The unwinnable game?Greeted Friday morning by the realization that it had been a year since the passing of Michael Jackson, I was taken aback. A whole year? It felt like four months, maybe. Rarely had time ever felt so fast. And lately it always feels fast. But this was light speed.I realized I am basically in exactly the same place in life that I was a year ago. A year older, yes. Generally happier now that Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-643059041499312282010-06-19T08:40:00.002-05:002010-06-19T08:40:00.500-05:00In a summer swelterI think I finally understand what that song means. Well, that line anyway. Well, that part of that line. If ever was a summer swelter, we are in it. All except for the minor detail that it's not quite yet officially summer. I golfed yesterday, was already glistening with sweat on the first hole, and by the end of the round my shirt was like you had dipped it in water.We're in another one of Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-44195586166934726102010-06-09T13:24:00.002-05:002010-06-09T14:31:45.740-05:00Some people claim there's a woman to blameI blew out my flip-flop.No, really, I did. Last night, walking from the apartment to the car. One instant I was walking normally, my feet happily nestled in their open-air home. And the next, it was over.I always knew this was gonna happen. This is precisely why I keep a spare pair of flip-flops in my vehicle, and have for years. Sure, people made fun of me. But I stood strong. Because Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-60631682545914429542010-06-02T22:41:00.001-05:002010-06-03T00:01:01.144-05:00Destin 2010"I get ten vacation days a year, and I try to hold off from taking them as long as possible. This year I got to the third week in January." ~ Pam Beasley, The Office.It's time now for a special Wednesday edition of Thursdays with Bone. Don't think of it as six days late. Think of it as a day early. Work was a malicious, spiteful, complaining woman last week. So even though I've only been Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-16902540139382358372010-05-21T19:00:00.000-05:002010-05-21T19:38:39.070-05:00Feeding the feverThis week's Thursdays With Bone has been moved to Friday. Also, due to the fact that I'm currently at the beach, it is a repost. I know, we're already into reruns after one week? Anyway, this is a post about a place I love. And it's where I'll be until Sunday. Hopefully, BP won't be destroying it anytime soon.From 2007, here's a little number I like to call "The Fever."On US Highway 98, Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-82915248408480072262010-05-13T23:44:00.002-05:002010-05-14T01:58:38.993-05:00Thursdays with BoneIn the interest of blogging more than once a fortnight, here I am again. I notice that my last two posts, and three of the last four, have come on a Thursday. That was not at all planned, but if you would like to believe that it was planned, feel free. Think of it sort of like Tuesdays With Morrie. Except on Thursdays. And with Bone. Also, much less enlightening.Last Thursday, I was at a Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-79597278387499731492010-05-06T18:02:00.005-05:002010-05-06T18:27:30.926-05:00The Queen City(Yesterday was my 7th bloggiversary. I figured I couldn't truly claim to have made it the full seven years unless I did at least one more post. This is a recap of my trip to Cincinnati a couple of weekends ago.)I think I was always meant to go to Cincinnati. I was raised to be a Reds fan. Well, I was raised to be a Bama fan and good southern boy first, but Mom also rooted for the Big Red Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-35476257112064647582010-04-23T16:17:00.005-05:002010-04-23T21:30:07.752-05:00April showers bring... something from the Bone-chivesI'm off to Cincinnati, where there is a 70-90% chance of rain all weekend. Hopefully, they'll be able to fit a baseball game in there somewhere. Even if there's a four-hour rain delay, the game doesn't end until midnight and there are only like fifty fans left in the stands, I'll be one of them. And there's a 100% chance of that.This would have been a perfect opportunity for stop number two onBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-49847863386109833212010-04-15T17:37:00.006-05:002010-04-15T23:59:46.374-05:00Wonder whatever became of me?Let's begin today with a little humor. Very little.Phone call from Dad the other day:"Did your sister tell you I'm getting an iPad?""What! No you are not.""Yes, I am. I'm getting an iPad.""Oh, Lord help us." (Thinking, how will he ever learn how to work it?)"The doctor says I have cataracts, so after they do surgery I'm gonna have to wear an eye pad."*smacking self on forehead*These are my Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-64169812765898541922010-04-02T16:39:00.008-05:002010-04-02T21:15:55.551-05:00Blog Reality Tour: NashvilleLast Friday evening presented me with the most interesting of decisions. I could either drive to Nashville to hang out with three girls, or I could sit home, watch basketball in my underwear, and slink further away from human interaction. After careful contemplation, I decided to ward off dementia at least for a few more years and go to Nashville.Through the medium known as electronic mail, I Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-60637028388921062162010-03-28T23:26:00.001-05:002010-03-28T23:35:55.954-05:00With apologies to CCRBefore we begin today, I have a confession to make: I kinda want to see Hot Tub Time Machine. I know! It's just, the previews look rather hilarious. Also, I've never been in a hot tub or a time machine. And while I'll always consider the latter a definite possibility, the former -- given my chronic germophobia -- will likely never happen.Whew, I'm glad to have that off my chest. Now we can Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com15tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-23331145561948064682010-03-16T23:09:00.001-05:002010-03-16T23:13:41.149-05:00Asking out a guyAs a guy, one of the toughest things to deal with is rejection. I know times they are a-changin', but for most of my dating life, I have been the one expected to ask out the girl. Sometimes I did and she accepted. Sometimes I asked and was rebuffed with great prejudice. And sometimes I never asked and spent the rest of my life up to and including this very day wondering what if... Where was IBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com22tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-88033895742952047222010-03-13T02:27:00.003-06:002010-03-13T02:44:43.746-06:00I waited three years for this?December, 2006. Oh what a night.Do you remember where you were?I sure do. For that was when I somehow coerced a female into an evening out with me. We went to the movies. The film? Rocky Balboa, not surprisingly. That was also the last time I had been to a movie theater. Until last weekend.I don't know what it was that brought me back. Maybe it was all the talk about the Oscars. Maybe itBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com19tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-8997867661936981822010-03-02T22:46:00.007-06:002010-03-03T19:25:30.129-06:00Men will be boysIt snowed this morning. In Alabama. In March. I don't think there's any doubt we are headed for 2012. I never saw the movie, but as I understand it 2012 is a year the ancient Mayans predicted would occur a couple of years from now. It is going to be like Y2K on crack. And there will be mayhem. And Prince will write a song about it. It is our destiny. It is inevitable. And there is Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com24tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-50711179548447317542010-02-22T23:27:00.004-06:002010-02-24T11:43:43.734-06:00All I am saying is, give curling a chanceI was all ready to share at considerable length the story of one man's struggle to survive sports purgatory for yet another year. You may recall sports purgatory is the barren wasteland of the sports year, lasting from the end of college football until the beginning of fantasy baseball, with a couple of oases included in the form of National Signing Day and March Madness.Highlights were to Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-53175070262543013592010-02-16T11:56:00.003-06:002010-02-16T14:25:54.696-06:00Who goes bowling at one o'clock on a Saturday?Friday marked the passing of another year in the life of Bone. As I commemorated the occasion, my Dad commiserated, "You're not a year older, you're only a day older than you were yesterday." Which sounded pretty good until I realized that I was on day number thirteen thousand, five hundred fourteen.Phew. That's a lot of times hitting the snooze button. It also reminded me of one of my Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com30tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-42333575211321933422010-02-05T16:49:00.006-06:002010-02-05T21:27:44.015-06:00Pride goeth before (and after) a fallThe improbable sequence of events that led to me googling "how to get blood out of clothes" is unimportant and rather unremarkable. Nevertheless, before the blog paparazzi buries me beneath a mountain of rumor and innuendo, allow me to elucidate.I went to a basketball game. Walking up the bleachers, I banged my head on an unfortunately placed electrical box which was mounted to the underside ofBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-91847942219870247042010-01-29T09:40:00.001-06:002010-01-29T09:41:37.545-06:00Death, and lifeDeath interrupted life again last week. A friend I went to high school with passed away after 37 brief years. He was the second person I knew to die this month. Both from cancer. Both in their thirties.Unfair is a word that I've said and heard several times in the past couple of weeks. And it does seem so. Then you ask why. But some questions don't have answers.I like to think I'll live a Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-54881275850034189112010-01-20T19:03:00.001-06:002010-01-20T19:09:14.270-06:00On The Road AgainI have interacted with the other humans five of the past six nights. This included a four-consecutive-night socialization extravaganza from Thursday through Sunday, the likes of which I have not seen since the Clinton administration. First term.There was dinner with Lil' Bootay, dinner with Kywana, re-watching the national championship game with Axl, and shooting pool with the Darryls. That's Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-25813060989584054212010-01-13T16:12:00.004-06:002010-01-13T20:10:48.898-06:00Cloud TenChristmas came two weeks late this year. Thursday night, exactly two weeks after Christmas Eve, the good St. Nick (Saban) delivered a national championship to every Bama boy and girl.Needless to say, I was on Cloud Ten. Zoomed right past Cloud Nine. I mean, Cloud Nine is nice for being in love and things like that. But this -- this is more than just a simple matter of feeling an elevated Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-148669747344581312010-01-05T23:24:00.004-06:002010-01-06T02:08:25.526-06:00Seven degrees... of somethingIt is 19 degrees here at the moment. That's one of two reasons I'd rather be in Pasadena. The low Friday night is supposed to be seven. Seven.Seven is a lot of things -- how old you are when you're in the second grade, the number of abominable sins, what George Costanza wanted to name his firstborn. It should never be a temperature.I have the intention to do some sort of year-end post, Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com33tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-2620810621351722642009-12-29T23:37:00.001-06:002009-12-30T00:49:35.405-06:00Hermit, the blogSaturday was the 5th Annual Festivus For The Rest Of Us at Bone's. This year's total of 15 Festivites surpassed by one the all-time high of 14, achieved in 2006 and previously considered untouchable. Not only that, we had almost as many females as males this year -- which we'd never even come close to before, it's like the three-minute mile -- with a 7:8 ratio. Let's face it, around here Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-81038328456585054472009-12-23T18:54:00.002-06:002009-12-23T19:09:02.326-06:00Although it's been said many times, many waysHere we are in the midst of the fastest and--I do believe that old cliche--most wonderful week of the year. I threw a pork roast in the crock pot Monday. One thing doesn't have anything to do with the other. I just thought for historical record it should be noted that I cooked my first roast.One of the highlights of my holiday season thus far has been having the opportunity to go caroling. I Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com28tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-14601133942751265232009-12-15T23:10:00.002-06:002009-12-16T17:07:46.678-06:00A Trans-Siberian updateI'm sipping on my second cup of hot chocolate of the evening, listening to Trans-Siberian Orchestra. Anytime I hear someone say how nothing good came from of the fall of the Soviet empire, I remind them of TSO. Sometimes I get really into the music and start pretending I'm conducting the orchestra with a series of emphatic arm movements. I don't know if I'm conducting correctly. But accordingBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-80324647351353114642009-12-03T11:17:00.002-06:002009-12-04T16:47:13.902-06:00Thanksgiving revisitedI was googling "can you put tennis shoes in the dryer?" last evening when it hit me, I should probably look into getting a life. But more than that, I needed to blog. So here goeth.It may seem odd, and a bit late, to blog about Thanksgiving on the Thursday following the holiday, but perhaps it is closer to keeping with tradition than you think. I mean, do you really think the Pilgrims got up Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com35tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-73698684079109810012009-11-25T23:46:00.002-06:002009-11-26T02:23:07.653-06:00There are 10 kinds of people in this worldI suppose my disdain for bumper stickers could be traced to my formative years. My mother insisted on proudly displaying a "Willie Nelson For President" sticker on one side of the rear bumper of our maroon 1977 Cutlass, and a "Honk If You Love Willie Nelson" sticker on the other side.And sometimes people honked!Several years ago when I was at a different job, some girl -- for reasons unbeknownst Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-54307431914656599032009-11-19T15:57:00.001-06:002009-11-19T16:08:42.633-06:00PathsIn those bright and blinding lights in that crowded lonely place, I remember your smile. It hardly left your face that night. And if you were happy, I was happy. Maybe it hadn't always been that way, but it had come to be that way. I remember you ordered some fruity girly drink I had never heard of, then you ordered a second one. We watched too much karaoke and caught up on the last year. You Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com20tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-23752564699746278932009-11-12T22:46:00.005-06:002009-11-12T23:25:54.522-06:00Back on the blogging wagon, liberally dispensing parental adviceI think I must have needed some time to decompress following the phenomenon that was Blogtober. But don't think there hasn't been plenty going on, because there has -- depending on your definition of plenty. Not the least of which is that I'm drinking again.Coffee, that is.That's right, I'm back on the java wagon. (Or is it off the wagon?) All aboard the Colombian Express. I believe you knowBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-42910749158263030382009-11-03T23:51:00.003-06:002009-11-04T08:30:55.152-06:00EscapeBlogtober may have gone, but the posts live on. This is from a writing exercise I did last month out of a book that I have. You were supposed to start the story with the opening line they gave, which I think is horrible, but nevertheless...Sometimes I feel just like a gerbil, running around and around on his wheel!I go faster, it goes faster. I slow down, it slows down. I hop off for a nap, Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com32tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-71536508281187449442009-10-28T23:31:00.003-05:002009-10-29T10:57:54.281-05:00Don't be happy, just worryDo you know what it's like to have no control over a relationship? You're anxious and sick to your stomach all the time. And even when you have a good day, you worry about what might go wrong the next time. Do you know what that's like?Well, I sure do. I saw this quote online last week and found it really appropriate for my situation: "What happens to you when you're like that is that you Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-14621744931282135532009-10-21T23:23:00.003-05:002009-10-22T00:31:21.009-05:00Life and the lack thereofI set a new personal record last night, by drinking milk four days past the date on the carton. That broke my previous all-time personal best of three days, achieved on numerous occasions, most recently the day before yesterday.Why did I do this?Why not? Isn't that what life is about? Setting goals for oneself and having the courage to go after them. Consider me the Michael Phelps of lactose.Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-71169284475087487582009-10-18T23:17:00.006-05:002009-10-19T19:45:31.671-05:00Ten fingers none the poorerAs Blogtober passes the halfway mark, I've managed to write every day except one. I didn't get home from the Bama game until after 1:30 this morning and was just too worn out to try and write. Maybe I can write an hour or more tomorrow to make up for it. You know, double up on my prescription. That's always worked really well for me with pain medication.Parking is always an issue at the Bama Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-28407681124738524982009-10-15T00:06:00.005-05:002009-10-15T02:17:59.456-05:00Growing up hereGrowing up here wasn't all that exciting. Town closed down on Sunday, except for one of the four drug stores. If you needed to do any other business, you either drove to the city or it just didn't get done until Monday. To this day it's still a dry town and county (meaning you can't buy alcohol there, at least not legally).There was no mall, no bowling alley, and no movie theater. Well there Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com21tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-10924945819471450152009-10-12T23:50:00.009-05:002009-10-13T09:16:40.335-05:00Did someone grant me three wishes that I wasn't aware of?I don't know if any of you have noticed or not, but lately I have been drifting, aimlessly. I had no center, no direction. Sometimes it felt as if I were merely existing, rather than living. Well, I finally figured out what was missing in my life. A girl? A family? Motivation? Ambition? A social life? No! Seinfeld!It was revealed to me a couple of weeks ago when I saw a commercial for Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com27tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-86766510867290243402009-10-07T16:11:00.004-05:002009-10-07T16:26:32.152-05:00As autumn stirsAutumn arrived on a Monday this year, not according to some number on a wall, but just as she always does, with a familiar and unmistakable change in the air. A certain chill which serves notice that while winter may not be imminent, it is also not all that far away.Autumn is a reminder. First, of autumns gone before. Then, of itself, of all the things that autumn is--windy days, a high schoolBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com25tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-51818610662785268812009-10-05T18:32:00.001-05:002009-10-06T01:18:50.195-05:00Twenty-seven days hath BlogtoberI've gotta make some changes in my life. A total of four blog entries in September? I'm embarrassed. Coming here after each seven-to-ten-day absence feels like calling to wish your mother a happy birthday a week late. I think it's got to be all or nothing for me. I'm not a person who can be happy doing things halfway. Well, other than relationships.And so, I hereby do proclaim this the Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-41295801560100710892009-09-24T16:22:00.001-05:002009-09-24T16:25:16.403-05:00Here comes the sunRiddle me this: Somewhere in Alabama today, a three-week-old child asks, "What's that in the sky, Dad?" "That's the sun," is the reply. The child had never seen it. Smart kid? Well, he was talking at three weeks. On the other hand, he didn't know what the sun was. Also, the dad was the child's mother. So maybe not so smart after all.The sun finally came out here today, for the first time Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com23tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-56832028920618629062009-09-17T12:18:00.004-05:002009-09-17T13:01:46.998-05:00A Czar is bornDear Mister President,Please consider this my application for the not-yet-created-but-long-overdue position of Public Toilet Czar. First allow me to explain why I feel I am most qualified for this not-yet-created-but-long-overdue position.I have used public toilets all my life. I was raised by parents who have a great appreciation for bathrooms, in general. My dad spent an inordinate amount ofBonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com31tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-42902249319345400232009-09-13T23:24:00.006-05:002009-09-14T01:35:43.046-05:00ReconciliationDear Blog, Let us not beat around the bush or tiptoe about the proverbial daisies any longer. Clearly, we have some issues that need to be discussed. We've drifted apart.(Blog responds with a series of beeps and electronic noises similar to R2D2, or at least that's what I imagine.) No, it has nothing to do with Facebook. Why do you always bring her up? She means nothing to me. I only use her Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6006953.post-78434441468768495292009-09-04T18:04:00.001-05:002009-09-04T18:39:24.795-05:00Let the screaming commenceIt has been eight months since I stumbled out of the Superdome and onto those enticing streets of New Orleans in my Julio Jones jersey--naive, distraught, and in search of guidance.Eight months of work, sleep, golf, sleep, fantasy baseball, sleep.Eight months. Almost as long as the human gestation period and twice as painful.But at last, it is here: the start of the college football Bonehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10096591352278195759noreply@blogger.com25